A
female
age
30-35,
*izeth
writes:i am dating this married guy, i am married too. i am 18 years old and he is 32. i know is kinda crazy but im really attracted to him. we met by our job, it was my first time i worked and damm! it happened, i am so into him, maybe is because i have only had one man in my ife, but it happened i stopped working for now (oh hes my supervisor) =) anyways we see each other 3 times a week, hes been trying to get me to have sex but i dont want to, not because im not into him but because im scare that if we have sex hes going to leave me, he says he will never leave me but doesnt say hes going to leave his wife, what do yall recommend me to do?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 This is all a big game to you isn't it? You are getting sound advice from all the aunts/uncles here but you're just not listening. It is only a matter of time before you break up not just your own precious family but the married man's too. You don't deserve good advice so I am closing down this question.
~Eve~
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (2 February 2010):
 I'm sorry, but I think you have already seen and disregarded all our opinions on this already. Just because you had sex again with a married man - it doesnt change the circumstances.
You are cheating on your husband, with a man who will not leave his wife for you.
You are 18, married and very very naive. I also feel very sorry for your child, and your husband, as they do not deserve to have such a selfish girl in their lives.
You mentioned earlier about YOUR HUSBAND wanting to leave, yet you persuaded him to stay. WHY? you are just using him for security. Now, you seem far more preoccupied with the fact that you have just had sex with your married lover, than how YOUR HUSBAND is actually feeling.
STOP IT. Stop being so selfish, and think about other people for once. At the moment, you are behaving like a stroppy teenager who only wants her own way.
The facts as I see it (which you have said)
1. you dont love your husband any more.
2. You dont want to tell your husabnd its over, and you dont want him to leave because you are ashamed that you are having an AFFAIR. And yes IT IS YOUR FAULT.
3. "so i decided to keep him but i cant stand him anymore"
This has got to be the ultimate in selfish behaviour. You dont love him, find him sexy, or care for him at all, yet you are going to "keep" him. This makes your husband sound like a pet. HE IS A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS!!!
4. You are the unfaithful one, you have cheated, and you show no remorse for your actions at all.
As far as I see it, you need to divorce your husband, and yes, he may hurt to start with, but he will be so much better off without you.
You will end up alone, because your "lover" will dump you as soon as something better comes along. He doesnt love you, he is using you, and every time you sleep with him, you are devaluing yourself. He will never leave his wife for you, and if found out, well, your job will probably be in the balance.
Do the right thing. Get a divorce and let your husband be happy.
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A
female
reader, lizeth +, writes (2 February 2010):
lizeth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHELLO! well today i saw my other man, and yes we had sex! i just wanted to share this wid u guys ! and see wat you opinions are! bye! =)
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (2 February 2010):
I think your husband is right that you are acting weird.. I suspect a mental illness in this case. Just read her posts and tell me she has all her marbles..
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 February 2010):
Ugh, do your husband a favor and let him go.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (2 February 2010):
Just out of interest, why did you get married at 18?
Already, before you even hit 20, you have been married, divorced, and had an affair?
If you married your husband as a joke, then I think that is pretty unfair on him. He is now going to be a divorcee whose wife cheated on him before he has even become a Man. His confidence will be shot to pieces. But I bet you dont care about that do you? Because its all a big game?
I think you need to go and talk to your Mum, get rid of ALL the guys in your life and do some serious growing up before you embark on a new relationship.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Go and tell the whole story to your mum.. Arrange for a divorce, then arrange to go back and live under your mothers roof.
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A
female
reader, lizeth +, writes (1 February 2010):
lizeth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello! again! well heres da new deal. Me and my husband had some arguments and he decided to leave, so i said i was ok with hes choice, he was supposed to leave today but when he was packing his things he said he didnt want to leave that he wanted me to change, he says i need to change because im acting weird and all those things, so i said i could try to change but is so hard because, i dont think i love him anymore, im not saying that im in love wid the other one im just saying that i dont have feelings for my anyone. the thing is i dont want to let him know that i want him to leave because i feel so ashamed that im having another relationship with another man i just feel that is going to be my fault. so i decided to keep him but i cant stand him anymore, and well he doesnt want to leave but i dont want to tell him, i dont know what to do i dont want to tell him to leave, but i want him to leave i need some advice what should i do? HELP!!!
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A
male
reader, ReturningtheFavor +, writes (30 January 2010):
No matter what happens in your life never ever be the other woman and never cheat on your lover. If your husband or his wife finds out, it can and will completely destroy them emotionally. It is one of the most devistating thing to happen in a relationship. Just know that you are going to ruin two lives by being the other woman. My first thought was that he was a piece of crap for being a cheater and you should stay around, but then i find out your married too? C'mon respect yourself his wife and your husband and stop the relationship all together, if you cant then tell your husband and im sure he will throw your dirty tramp ass out on the street where it belongs. You dont know what you have till you throw it away. Take it from someone who has been cheated on it hurts and that sting never goes away. You have to consider the emotional toll its going to take on the two innocent people, can you live with someone taking their life over this, because it is possible. As pathetic as it seems, I considered it after a nearly 10 year relationship went bad after she cheated. Think about who you are hurting!
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A
female
reader, lizeth +, writes (29 January 2010):
lizeth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello everyone! well we got back together! =) we are straight again, we talked and well we're back. And i don't think i will leave him anymore. dis days that we didn't talk were so hard, i just needed to talk to him. im so into him, THANK ALL YOU FOR YOUR ANSWERS! =)
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female
reader, Angzw +, writes (28 January 2010):
Wait a minute; are we being Punk'd? Or maybe in high school?? Do you think us adults are here to play this game with you? You seriously need to grow up because when your husband finds out it won't be so funny.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 January 2010):
Your 18 years old..... How long have you been married.... And already your flirting and dating with a older married guy... and your little joke.. hahahaha.. NOT VERY FUNNY AT ALL...
What is gonna happen when your husband finds out all about your funny games that you are playing because you are bored.
You aint had sex with this guy, and I don't think you will. Your just a kid playing stupid games. But you are not a proper wife, you are still just a child. You will cheat on your husband eventually, you will be unfaithfull, and then you'll get a divorce.
I suggest that you get yourself some good contraception and ask your husband and any guy you get involved to wear condoms. You are definitely not mature enough to bring children into this world. Your parents are crazy, letting you get married when still find playing school yard games funny and entertaining, and have no concept of the fact that you are hurting other people by behaving like this.
18years old, married and dating???? an older married man... I'm afraid as an old woman, I don't know what you find so funny.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 January 2010):
Oh, you should definitely text him. It's clear he wants you badly. I think you should also tell him you love him and want to mother his children. And definitely, give him some ass. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, lizeth +, writes (28 January 2010):
lizeth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello everyone! =) thank you all for your answers! well something happend between me and dis guy, i told yall about, well i didnt break up with him as you all told me too, but yesterday i made a big mistake, i had gotten a new cell phone but still had my old one, we were textin and it was good, but i dicided that i was going to make a joke, i started texing him with the other phone pretending it was my husband and asking him things like if he'd like to share his wife and things like that, then he asked me if my man had a phone so i told yes and he asked me for the number and i gave him my new number, and he freaked out and told me that he was textin him. so after like 15 min i texted him saying that it was me and that i was just making a joke, and he got mad, lol omg it was so funny. But anyways well i told him why he could'nt take a damn joke and he said he didnt think it was funny. the think is that when i texted him hes texted back saying "wrong number bye" and i was like are u going to be like that, and he said that if he did that i wouldn't like that, the thing is he hasn't text me today and he always does i dont know if hes mad or if it's just over, i want to text him real bad but i dont dont know what to do! what should i do? guys? yall think he's waiting for me to text him or he doesnt want anything with me anymore? OH I HAVENT GIVEN HIM ANY ASS! lol
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (23 January 2010):
I recommend you quit being a fool and realize that either way he's going to leave you and he'll never leave his wife for you. Divorce your husband because no, you shouldn't be married. I agree, people do get married too young and these things happen (which is no excuse, but your husband deserves to have a faithful wife). But please, don't be so foolish to think that some married man actually cares about you for anything more than sex and that he'll actually leave his wife for you. All you are is a stroke to his ego, he still feels in the game because he caught an 18-year old little play thing.
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female
reader, Angzw +, writes (23 January 2010):
Child, just go through the posts here and read about the mistresses who have been waiting forever, some 20 years for the man to leave his wife; they hardly ever do. Have you ever stopped to think of what the poor wife is going through while you are busy flirting with her husband? You are right, he will throw you in the garbage once he is done with you. Ofcourse he will use you for a few months or even years then grow tired of you and probably get you fired. You need to wake up. Do you have parents? Imagine your mother, how devoted she is to your father. Now imagine some little woman half your father's age fanning her tail at him in the office. What would you tell that little woman to do????
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 January 2010):
Go back to your husband and work on your marriage. All this married guy wants you for is sex. He won't leave his wife, he's just after you for sex and nothing else. Of course when he's had enough he'll move on from you. That's what married men who are cheating do. He's just using you. So end it with him before it goes too far and work on your marriage, or lose your husband and just be second best for the rest of your life.
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A
male
reader, conswalo wasabi +, writes (23 January 2010):
im going to start by saying i know you are inteligent however you are acting stupid. You do not come first in this relationship you are a fling the other woman is his bit of tail.How would you feel if your husband was shagging another women your sister lets say. Think about how you would feel thats how the woman's marridge you are wrecking will feel not to mention your husband and overall you will also get hurt You know you are worth more than this dont sleep with him no get rid of him he's bad news for you plenty of single guys prepaird to put you first. The bottem line is dont shag this prick and if your not happy at home get rid of your husband too plenty more fish in the see. This is to complicated and he doesnt respect you. You arte an object to him. Please let us know what happens
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