A
female
age
36-40,
*unnySide123
writes:So recently I was on my boyfriend's computer and saw that he had google searched and dowloaded a porn video. The name sounded weird to me so I looked it up later and it turns out it was from a porn site where men have sex with women while they're supposedly asleep. In this video it was obvious it was a set-up and that the girl was pretending to be asleep, but she was still unresponsive throughout the whole thing. I find this really bizarre and creepy, is this not unusual?? I feel like this is close to a rape fantasy which I personally find to be offensive.Is this a normal fantasy?? I just dont get it. Wouldnt a man want the woman to be into the whole thing? I dont know what to think, but I dont want to embarrass him or tell anyone. Help!
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 July 2009):
 His computer is his personal property its none of your damn business basically. im late on this but i hope you didnt say anything to him about it your opinion doesnt matter its basically like reading his mind hes intitled to his fantasies weather you like it or not as long as its not childporn theres no reason to bring it up dont try to anylyze it or figure out why he likes it obviously theres a niche for it cause people make it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): This is disturbing. He seems to be in the advanced stages of porn addiction. Now looking at naked women alone is not enough. He needs even more control. It's not enough women pose for his every whim and fantasy. Now he doesn't even want their consent. Big danger sign!
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 The only way to find out is to ask him about it even if it is embarrassing otherwise you are just guessing.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Actually those sleeping porns are fairly common. There's a plethora of Niche adult sites, some fairly innocuous, some very sinister,with the more sinister types usually not free to download.
You can talk to him about it I guess. But I would be cautious not to be too accusatory towards him, because it may be a delicate and/or embarrassing issue for both of you when brought up. And you may get a foul reaction from him if it is not brought up in an adult manner.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Agreed all round - you've got to talk.
If "bows" is right and it's a type of control thing, maybe after discussion you might find a way of introducing it into your love-making?
A kind of role-play, with you getting as much pleasure from pretending to be unresponsive whilst he does everything?
I bet you can't stay passive throughout though, once you are aroused!
Good luck,
Harry.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 July 2009):
 he may like the idea of a girl being unresponsive towards it because he feels in control and he can do whatever he likes to that girl as easy access.
it's just a fantasy i am sure he would never really do something like that.
i'm sure he knows it's fake that she's OBVIOUSLY awake really.
but if this offends you talk to him about it ask him why he enjoys something like that...?
tell him and let him know that it offends you.
i am sure he would never intend to offend you.
you should both sit down together and talk it over let him know how it makes you feel so he's aware.
:)
hope this helps
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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