A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this man and he is a nice person and I open really slowly so I usually need to spend lots of time with someone before I'm really into that person. He's a nice man, polite and seems to be very into me( calls me often, texts me, keeps asking me out) and i realize and appreciate this but i feel NOTHING. i feel no connection yet( we've only been out twice, 1 coffee date and one dinner). i find it very hard to communicate with him, it's like we talk about 2 different things always, he doesn't get my sense of humor and doesn't have one himself so we never laugh together. he's trying really hard to get me to like him, he copies the way i talk , he tries to be interested in stuff I'm into......almost too hard!!! I dont know what to do....keep going out with him because hes a good person and polite and hope that he will grow on me eventually or set him free now ?i'm so confused! please help......what would yu do?thx so much:)
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male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (5 August 2009):
 He is too complex, too much hard work, dishonest, disrespectful to your wishes and acts as if nothing is wrong, I'd catch a fast moving train in the opposite direction.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (3 August 2009):
 maybe that's why you felt no connection because in the back of your mind somewhere you knew something wasn't right with what he'd told you...
pretty poor that he lied about his age and also is daughters as you said why lie?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much1
I decided to give him more time without leading him on........i told him right after i posted on here last time that i wanted to just be friends...his response was.." that's ok, all good relationships are built on a foundation of friendship", i realized he doesn't get it but i thought maybe he's jusr a nice guy and really likes me. he asked me out again to go for a walk and talk and i said yes of course, friends do those things..........during the walk he kept trying to hold my hand and be romantic and i felt very uncomfortable not because of the holding of the hands( i'm old enough,lol) but because he was ignoring and disrespecting my wish. well i said nothing and i let him. while we were talking i found out that he lied about his age(he's 39 not 37..not a big deal but a LIE) and he also lied about his daughter's age( she's only 16 not "almost 18"..why lie???) All this put together made me right him a letter telling hi how i felt uncomfortable about his attempt to push the friendship boundaries, i said nothing about the lies about the ages cause i dint want to make him feel too bad. i don't expect to hear back from him.
what are your opinions on his actions and my reaction?
thank you!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much1
I decided to give him more time without leading him on........i told him right after i posted on here last time that i wanted to just be friends...his response was.." that's ok, all good relationships are built on a foundation of friendship", i realized he doesnt get it but i thought maybe he's jusr a nice guy and really likes me. he asked me out again to go for a walk and talk and i said yes of course, friends do those things..........during the walk he kept trying to hold my hand and be romantic and i felt very uncomfortable not because of the holding of the hands( i'm old enough,lol) but because he was ignoring and disrespecting my wish. well i said nothing and i let him. while we were talking i found out that he lied about his age(he's 39 not 37..not a big deal but a LIE) and he also lied about his daughter's age( she's only 16 not "almost 18"..why lie???) All this put together made me right him a letter telling hi how i felt uncomfortable about his attempt to push the friendship boundaries, i said nothing about the lies about the ages cause i dint want to make him feel too bad. i don't expect to hear back from him.
what are your opinions on his actions and my reaction?
thank you!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (13 July 2009):
If he doesn't laugh with you or understand you, has nothing in common with you and you can't communicate with him then why do you think you should be spending time with him. Put him out of his suffering and let him go.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Id give it one more date, then if after that you still feel nothing, fly solo
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 July 2009):
well you've only been on two dates perhaps go on a few more see if anything progresses i mean he's trying really hard that's really sweet he clearly really likes you and wants you to give him a shot.
so go on a few more dates and see how things progress if you still feel nothing there then deinfately let him go and let him find someone more on his level and you do the same.
but he's making such an effort you really should just go on a few more dates together find out more things about him maybe somewhere along the way you'll notice you've got something in common.
Hope this helps
good luck keep us updated!
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Like you said yourself, you need time and a lot of communication before you are rly into that person. He seems like a really good guy and trying his best to make u feel comfortable. So my advice, would be to take this chance to get to know him. Maybe he becomes a good friend or a bf or something more! I'm sure with someone like you as you just described, its a little awkward at first, but give it a chance. Why not? ^^
So you have something really nice on your plate babe, and I say you should take it.
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