A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I think I am starting to become uninterested in my boyfriend. I was afraid this would happen if our relationship did not take off. Some things may have changed, but not enough to say this is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. When it comes to who he is and what he wants to do with his week I am all for whatever he wants to do. We are almost at 2 years together. I think I am seriously starting to become un-attracted to him also. He is a nice guy, but he is not listening to me when I say things like you should clean up your hair a little not cut it all off just make it look better tamed, or try not to drink so much beer and try to limit yourself to 6 instead of 9. I don't think I am asking much, but I am starting to feel bored. The really problem is I just want him to wake up and see things. I already told him last week I was bored of him a bit, maybe it was harsh but it's the truth. I think our life has already become way too routine and I am just tired of it. I am also a woman with a high high sex drive and that seems to have diminished for him. I only care about getting off once in a while with porn and even if I hold off on the porn my hormones don't care about wanting him sexually. I know things could be worse. What should I do? Can anyone helpp me ? I just want my relationship feeling like it should? I don't want to be turned off to him I want to want him again. That's what bothers me the most is not feeling like sex with him. If I think of sex with anyone else I can feel it. I feel so wrong, but I figure if I ask for some help maybe I can stop myself from leaving him, and give him a chance.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (1 September 2012):
 I agree, it's just who he is. You can tell him he should change some things but he won't. It's like telling you not to be a sexual person. You could try but it wouldn't be you and it would lead to resentment or giving up altogether. He seems to be a lazy slobbish person and happy with that. At 2 years together you start to see someone for who they really are. And being with someone you aren't attracted to is awful, I know how that is. Avoiding sex is no relationship. He isn't going to suddenly stop drinking and have nice hair and be sexually attractive to you, even if he did you said you don't have the same sex drives. And if you truly loved him then his appearance going downhill wouldn't cause such dislike for him. You can try and tell him again what you need and see if he will change, but I think it's a waste of time. He could try but it wouldn't be permanent. And you don't love him for who he is. You should move on to someone more compatible with the same interests and goals that you have. This relationship has too many problems that can't be fixed.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 September 2012):
 The same thing happened to me. You can talk with him and see what he thinks, but if he is like my ex, he will say that everything is fine and then continue on with the same boring behavior and lifestyle. And that was going from someone who was always wanting to do things with me, see me, have sex, play practical jokes on me (which I loved), and tease me constantly. Then one day...poof. All of it was gone.
I tend to agree with anonymous. Nine pints of beer says it all. Honestly, you could try talking, but it probably won't work. Many of these people are set in their ways. If you are passionate about yourself and your life, you will probably never get him to see the light as he is probably the opposite of you. I know it is frustrating, but you can save yourself a lot of headache and hurt if you just make a rational decision and leave.
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A
female
reader, chaijam  +, writes (1 September 2012):
I think perhaps you guys just aren't meant for each other. If you're bored after 2 years, imagine another 50 together. How does that sound to you?
Another problem is that in a relationship there should be mutual respect. It seems like you're trying to change him into something you want him to be when you know that right now he isn't good for you. Simultaneously, if you've given him some light tips and he's ignored them - that's rude and he probably doesn't care much for what you think.
How did he respond when you said you were getting bored of him a bit? Did he seem to care?
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (1 September 2012):
I think in these situations, it is good to have some perspective on different outcomes. For example, would you actually be happier if he did the little things you wanted him to? (I honestly think you would still want to leave him if he did those things). Also its good to try to pin point the problems in the relationship and try to work it out. You said you do all the things he wants to do. Are there things that you want to do and he does not want to do them?
Is it that he is not listening or is it that he is not doing exactly what you say? Have you actually tried to work things out or just complained? How does he feel? Is there a lack of communication? It's difficult for me to say to just leave him when well...he hasn't really done anything wrong.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 If you're gonna have a future with someone, you need to fancy them, worts and all. This isn't the case for you with this guy. None of us are perfect, but if that basic fancying isn't there despite your best efforts, this guy probably isn't the one for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): 9 pints of beer says it all. I think he might try and change if you leave him. If not don't waste any more time with him.
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