A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dont know what to do... i have been talking to this guy for 6 months now and we just started dating on jan 5th. then he left for basic training and i found out that he had/has another girlfriend. according to the other girl he broke up with her in the 5th, but he called her on the way to basic and told her that he wouldnt let anything happen come between them. i dont know if i should ask him about her or what. i just want to know the truth. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): I no he dumped her before actually dating you but he was he actually coming onto you while with this other girl? I would say he may be dishonest but he may also have been in an unhappy relationship before you and doing the deceint thing by ending it before starting a new one!
I personally would suggest u take it very slowly if u decide to get involved and if he is showing that he is a player then get out of it. But he may be innocent and if u run now u coud be missing out. only u can decide really because u no his character
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Where did you find this information out?
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A
male
reader, airwaterearthfirebender  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 So the 6 months you were talking to him he, I assume, never mentioned being involved with anyone else?
Ok, if this guy is as we think he is, then first things first, thank your lucky stars this other woman decided to talk. Whether she felt you genuinely needed to know or if she wants him back (for whatever reason and why she would is her own problem as far as you are concerned). Consider yourself fortunate that you found out this early.
There are quite a few ways to approach this if you really want to know the truth. Alternatively, you can take her word as you know it and just walk and don't look back. If you believe her, the guy was lying to you all while he was involved with another woman...if true...then can you say 'douche-bag'? I would ask her some followup questions to find out how long they were or have been going out and other details only she could know about him.
If you want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth (who knows, maybe he has some miracle response...but unlikely...lol) then confront him on it. Of course, there are probably a number of ways to go about this but if you need to be a bit devious in getting to the truth then so be it. It's all good if someone is trying to hoodwink you and lies in trying to make you believe that he is something he is not. As a side note, it's uncanny how people just accept what is in all reality a stranger into their lives without passing even a minimum of requirements, but I digress.
Again, IMO, I wouldn't spend too much energy on this. Find out what you need to know and likely walk and don't look back. Let us know what you end up doing. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Then it sounds like your dishonest guy is not single. In fact, it sounds like she's lying and saying they're not together when they really are. Even if you ask him about her, you won't get the truth. They're both liars.
I suggest you break it off with him, and proceed to date an honest guy who is actually single. Don't settle for this love triangle, it can get messy really quick.
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A
female
reader, AmyN +, writes (19 January 2011):
Personally I would leave him. He doesn't sound loyal to me.. He is probably just wanting to chase as much tail as he can. I could be wrong however! None the less though it sounds like a nasty situation that will only lead to someone getting hurt. Asking him directly could never hurt but he might not be honest with you. In the end you must decide what feels right for you. Good luck honey
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