A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey. i could do with some advice on how to either boost my confidence or how to ignore everyones snide comments.i regularly get comments about how i look like a guy. i don't think i do, i'm a size 12, with definate breasts and i have a fairly slim waist, you know, a typical hourglass figure. i've got long hair, but my face is quite square. and i've often wondered if thats why people keep saying i look like a guy. i've also been mistaken for a guy a few times too. the people who actually mistake me for a guy either appologise or just laugh and walk off.and it really gets to me. i try hard to look my gender especially when i'm in my school uniform. but whenever i look in the mirror i just see a guy trying to kid themselves that their not.the only time i don't get told i look like a guy is when i'm wearing fitted tops, any tops that show cleavage or skirts and dresses. (i refuse to wear stupidly short skirts or really low cut tops though) which means i've got to go all out to look in the least bit feminine, which of course gets expensive. it also means that i don't get to wear casual clothing if i want to look like a girl all the time.so yeah, any advice you can give on this matter will be greatly appreciated.anon
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (17 September 2010):
I am pretty masculine as well in my face. I have a relatively strong jawline for a girl, strong eyebrows, etc. I also have broad shoulders and though I have boobs, I do have that masculine thing.
Now, there's a lot you can do to make it work for you. For example, look at girls like Missy Peregrym. She is also a bit masculine, but because she has her eyebrows plucked, has the right hairstyle and wears the right makeup she is actually quite beautiful.
So get your eyebrows done in a distinctive, feminine way with an arch. I would have them done professionally at first so you have them right the first time and that way it's easy to keep up. Catherina Zeta Jones has what people call feminine eyebrows. (for example in this pic: http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1999_Entrapment/999ENT_Catherine_Zeta-Jones_118.jpg)
Work with makeup. Accentuate your cheekbones, put a small line above your eyes, use mascara. If you're not good at it, go to a beauty parlor or at a counter where they sell makeup and ask for advice there. Tell them you need something that is easy to do for you and not too much work. You don't want to have the feeling you're painting on a mask every day.
Lastly, accept yourself. You're still growing and maturing and people at your age can just be very nasty to one another. So ignore it and realize you've got things they wish they had (hourglass figure, boobs, etc.) Sometimes it's jealousy that makes people say this.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Makeup isn't hard, you can go to the make-up counters in the department stores and those women will show you how to put it on. Given it does take some time to master it but now's the time to start. Really all you need is some blush, a little eyeshadow, and mascara. The eyes are the hardest part to get a technique down for. So you're a muscular girl that's actually a good trait to have, not only are odds in your favor if you get into fight, but you can play just about any sport. Actually I'm friends with a girl like you..she's had a few boyfriends and just had a date the other night. So no not all men are into skinny little girls, they do like a woman with muscle who can hold her own.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 My advice is that in a few years time you will grow to be very feminine. If you are already having breasts at your age, you are definitely developing feminine features. I didn't have breasts at all when I was 14. It just takes time! You are still maturing.
Do not let it get to you. I know you said it does, but really, who cares. They know you are a girl, and if they are complaining it is because they have an issue themselves. First off all an issue with not knowing what is polite and what is rude, and obviously lacking social skills. Maybe they are jealous even! Everyone wants an hour glass figure. Many will envy you that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the adivce. i've tried putting my hair in a pony tail and that often makes it worse.
i know i have a relatively strong jawline, and my voice for a girls is quite low. in some respects i have quite a guy like build, like i seem to build up muscle easier than the other girls in my class do. (or that could just be because i bother in PE) but alot of the things i've found give me a small advantage. as although i'm not flexible, i'm strong, i'm not small and skinny, i'm tall and quite a strong build.
all thats fine from a physical point of view, it serves me well when i'm training. it's also served me well in fights that i've not been able to get away from. but from aesthetics it's a bit more problematic. i've tried make up, but i'm not very good at putting it on, so i don't tend to, especially for school. and my school uniform doesn't do my any favours, and i'm one of the few people who don't try to bend the rules on uniform, so it doesn't do my body any justice what so ever.
i can see the pro's and cons of my body. at the moment, the cons i'm seeing are strictly from an aesthetic point of view. i'm seeing short, skinny girls who are gymnasts and dancers, with all the good looking boys in the school. and i'm still waiting for a first boyfriend. it makes you think. but then i remember that they're more trouble than their worth when in school.
anyway i'm going off track.
thanks again for all the advice.
anon
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): I had this up until I was nearly 18. I realise that this might not be what you want to hear but I could not find anything that made me look more like a girl either.
I took control of my image hands on. Be mad bad and radical. If you feel people are juding you by your appearance anyway, you might as well give them a reason to, a reason you are in control of. Its a serious self esteem booster and you are young enough to get away with it.
Once you have the self confidence in your own body and know you look good, you will find that a little boy-ish edge to your look is a very sexy thing that lots of people appreciate.
(For the record, I am about the girliest girl I know now. features do settle)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 September 2010):
 One of the biggest lessons in life is to not care what other people think. It's very hard to do, but if you can, it will give you a confidence that is hard to deny.
You're still young. I think that as you get older, the "looking like a boy" will fade. Dress how you want. Don't try to conform to anything you don't want to. Be yourself. It doesn't matter what people think. Kids your age are brutal to anyone for reasons that aren't even true sometimes. That will pass with maturity too.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Make up?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
Well by your post you sound like a female to me. Maybe you have a strong jawline and defined features is why they confuse you for a male. Try wearing your hair in a ponytail to bring out your face and weak a little makeup. There's no need to dress in cleavage baring tops and cheeky skirts to assure people you are not a boy. Dress how you want and what you feel comfortable in. These people obviously need glasses or to take a second look at you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Without seeing you in person it's hard to make an accurate judgement here, but either way, if you are a female and you dress like a female I don't quite understand why people should laugh or treat you differently. It sounds a little odd to me. Why do you have be confident about what you already are? Your a female, and if people are rude or nasty then that's their problem not yours. Never allow anyone to make you feel bad, people that do that have a severe lack of self esteem themselves.
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