A
male
age
51-59,
*ootlover8
writes:I am a male in my 40,s with a foot fetish. I am becoming more obsessed with this and now even pay local ladies to enjoy their feet. I do this even though i have an understanding fiance who lets me enjoy and play with her feet. It is somewhat incontrollable in many ways. I know its not right being unfaithful to her in this way and needless to say she knows nothing about the other ladies feet, should i tell her or keep it a secret about my other liasons
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female
reader, No watered down advice here!  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 I think you need to first STOP! And if you can't stay STOPPED, then tell her. Because you will know you're addicted to feet! She need to know BEFORE she becomes your what you habits are. I sure wouldn't want my man TOUCHING another woman's ANYTHING! And PAYING for it too! OH NO! Somehow I feel you're addicted! BUT, give it a try and see if you can quit #COLDTURKEY! LOL!
A
male
reader, Liebes Kummer +, writes (2 February 2011):
I have heard men complain that their wives or partners are not understanding or willing enough, but you have one who is and yet, she is not enough.
If she accommodates your fetish then why go to the others? Your fetish desires could be spiralling out of control.
You saying 'it is somewhat incontrollable in many ways' spells it out; you need help.
You said you fiance is understanding, speak to her and with her support, seek help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Hello,
Yes tell her be completely honest. Seek help too as this has gotten out of control.
Good luck
:-)
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (2 February 2011):
Are you asking us if you should continue cheating on your fiance? Isn't she your sole mate in that you want to be faithful to her? Surely you're not that much feet apart that you can't work this out together? If you don't stand together in this, she may walk away. You need to realise what's afoot if you continue with this behaviour, stop cheating and work towards healing your relationship so that joint together you'l have a future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): I don't think your significant other would be too happy with this, but if there were no body fluids exchanged I wouldn't think it would be a deal breaker.
It's slightly left of center, but I don't really see this as some malfunction of your psyche.
You know that to have the best of both worlds you have to stop with the other women, inform your wife of this fetish and incorporate her into it.
If she is a loving and caring woman (most are beyond what most men would ever guess) she might just indulge your fantasy at home and every one will be happy.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 February 2011):
 You're 40 and presumably mature enough to recognize when what you are doing would be damaging to your 'committed' relationship. If you cannot control your behavior, then it is controlling you and that is when it's time to call in the professionals. Please seek counseling.
Alternatively, you could simply try telling the truth to your fiancee and then not have to do any more hiding. It won't be pleasant, of course, but it might free you to live your life with someone who would be completely understanding and supportive of your fetish.
Again, presumably you know full well what you need to do, but perhaps are looking for validation of your fetish? Whatever it is, if it was for elbows or shoulder blades, it doesn't really matter. What you're doing is lying to your fiancee and that is a problem.
Stop lying, tell the truth, seek counselling. That's all I've got for you, good luck!
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (2 February 2011):
It is an addiction you have, and if you don't tell your partner, not only will it get out of hand, but it will become an extremely expensive habit... like a drug!
I also feel that you need to seek professional help. Some people may think that is a little drastic, however, where is it going to end... you may loose your partner, and you may become the talk of the town if you are meeting up with local ladies... you could end up loosing everything.
However, please don't feel that you are a freak for having this fetish. I recall recently watching a programme about a very successful, professional businessman with a fetish for women beating him. He was spending a fortune, making videos, and suffering lots of serious injuries, broken nose, ribs, arms etc... now I know that is slightly different in that you are not being injured in anyway, however, it is mentally having a similar affect. He wanted help to stop this addiction, and confided in his partner, she supported him and got professional help.
I seriously suggest you do the same and wish you the best of luck!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 February 2011):
 So, a willing fiance isn't enough for you? Yeah, you need to come clean. You should also seek help. Your fetish has turned into something more like an obsession and is not healthy if you feel compelled to pay women to explore it further. Especially with a willing lover at home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): If this "fetish" is that uncontrollable then i think you should seek professional help before anything else.
Secondly, your fiancée deserves to know what you have been doing behind her back.
If you had been having sex with these other women, do you think that it would be right to keep it from her?
You are being unfaithful and she deserves to know who she's marrying.
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