| A
age
30-35,
*
writes: hi guys,well I'm a teenager and i have a great bf i no I'm under aged but he has kind of convinced me to have sex with him.i was just wandering because it's my first time and I'm slightly nervous any tips on how to actually have sex?i no that sounds stupid but i don't really no how to.do i just go with the flow or is there more to it than that???Any one who takes me seriously will be much thanked for taking the time to answer this question.xxx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): well first things first you need to no if 100% you want to do it with him ..because i knw how you feel i got convinced my firts time and i wish i never did it.u need to knw if he loves you enuff to wait if you decide not to doit with him.i knw this is realy short advice but plz think b4 you do it xxxx
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 After reading Dr. Pete's response I need to change mine. This is not the guy to have sex with, and this is not the time. If he's hurting you, you need to find someone else. Please leave him. Run like your ass is on fire. Your first time should be special, and if he's pressuring you then you need to leave. Please love yourself enough to ditch this guy. Good luck hon.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): hi, look u should only do this if you feel ready and want to do it! if u do feel mature enough in body and mind then i think you should experiment first and see how each thing feels and decide what you both like. only do this if he is the same age renge aswell. because he could get done and sent to jail. also dont do it just because all your mates have you need to be ready.first of all the first time hurts quite a bit and in most cases blood comes out. but if it dosent he hasent gone in deep enough or you can draw this blood from horse riding or using tampons. dont carry on if you are in so much pain do to him what you know he likes. just ask him if he likes wot ur doing.i advise that you dont try any positions at first, wait till it stops hurting firstbest look xxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-hits-and-kicks-me-but-i-know.html
Hanz, you write that you have a great boyfriend but only a few days ago you wrote a problem saying that he hits and kicks you.
Your boyfriend is physically and emotionally abusive and he has now manipulated you in to thinking about giving up your virginity to him. Do you not see any serious problems with this? I sure do.
Do you really think a guy like this will stick around once you have sex with him? I don't. I think you are in a serious situation here that requires an adult to give you some proper advice. Do you have a parent, or someone you trust that you can talk to about this? It sounds to me that they will be able to help guide you.
I feel that if you don't be careful you are going to end up going through some really bad and avoidable pain.
Please, if you can, listen to the advice you have read on this website. These people generally know what they are talking about.
Abuse is not love.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): Not only is it illegal for you to have sex until you are at least 16 you don't sound as if you are ready. You have to be 100 percent ready before having sex. You needed convincing to agree to have sex with your boyfriend, that's not how losing your virginity should be like. I think that you should wait until you are at least the age of consent, 100 percent ready to lose your virginity and you lose it to a guy that you love. Who knows, you might not even be with your boyfriend when you turn 16.
...............................
A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 There are other things besides intercourse. I suggest that you take time to cuddle and feel each others bodies with this boy. Please hold off having him inside you for 2 more weeks. If he insists and pushes and pushes and pushes, ask him to leave. He can't be the right guy if he puts you under that much pressure. Too much pressure, say no and mean it and the pressures over. Things to think about in the next 2 weeks. Go to the STD clinic and get on birth control. Tell them how strongly you feel about this boy. Other things to think about, you could be known in school as the girl that really does do it in school. Hard reputation to live up to when you're not prepared emotionally to handle the questions from strangers talking, girlfriends, other guys and possibly your parents if they find out. You may even withdraw emotionally and feel bad, and if this boy dumps you, how will you feel then? If he dumps you, for the first time you will feel like you've been used. Please come back to us after the 2 weeks and let us know how you've progressed. Sex is a beautiful pleasure with the right person, I'm inclined to think that he's not going to be the best boy to help you through it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): listen babe, do not have sex with him if you arnt ready. if he has had to convince yout then you obviously dont feel ready. I was just turned 14 when i lost my virginity and am now 15 and have got a 5 month old baby. It was the worst thing i ever did and although i love jordan-lee dearly i wish i had never done it. You might ignore any of this advice but please wait, imagine if you did ger pregnant, it was my first time it could be yours.you are only young huni.good luck anyway! =] x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): Penta is totally right, don't do anything if you're not totally sure if you want to do it and make sure you use birth control/condoms etc. If you really have no idea what you are doing let him guide you and tell him you are nervous, if hes a good guy he will be gentle and considerate to you. But don't be afraid to tell him if you would prefer to wait, if you are worried he won't like you if you say you aren't ready then he isn't the kind of guy you want to lose your virginity to. Good luck babe. xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 My advice is a little more blunt and life like than the previous one. I hope you can understand because Im a father of a young girl and Ive seen the effects of underage sex many many times.First off, this boyfriend cant be so great if he is manipulating you, which is exactly what it sounds like. You should take a little more pride in yourself and not let him tell you what you should be doing ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex. You should read your own post and imagine it was somebody else writing it. Would you tell this person to have sex? I said it before in another post and I will say it again. What your are doing at your age is called experimenting NOT sex. If you insist on making that decision, know that the consequences can be VERY VERY severe. Real sex wont happen for a while and its best not to take any risks until then, trust me its not all hes telling you it is because hes no more informed or skilled than you are. If I may go a level deeper here...consider that you do allow him to have sex with you. Is this the kind of woman you want to start becoming? The kind of woman who lets men make her decisions and is easily manipulated? I hope that is not the road you decide in life. If you want to know the kind of woman Im talking about you can find her in any battered womens shelter, or simply talk to a pediatrics nurse about all the young girls who are giving birth to fatherless children and droping out of school. I have never in my life known a woman who had sex as a young teenager who didnt wish she could take it back. Hopefully you will not be one of those.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): You shouldn't have to be convinced to have sex. You should feel it's the right thing to do. And by the sounds of it, you don't believe this and you will only have regrets. Wait a few more years and then make a big life decision.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lizz +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Well, honey, there really isn't much to it. You lie there and he does most of the work. There are other positions but I suggest you stick to missionary for your first time. Since you mentioned that you are underage does that imply that the boyfriend is not? If this is the case I suggest you do not engage in sexual activity of any kind with him until you turn 18, or find someone closer to your own age. There are very serious consequences involved for him even if the sex is consentual. He can be prosecuted by the state for statitory rape, could do jail time, and/or be forced to register as a sex offender for up to 10 years or more depending on the laws where you live. Believe me, I know someone who had the very same thing happen to him. It is possible.Also, you should never feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. You say he's "convinced you to have sex" and this makes me feel that you weren't even considering it until he led you to believe it was the right thing to do. Respect your body and don't move faster than you want to. If he really cares about you, he will wait until you're ready.Since you know very little about sex it suggests that you aren't ready for it or the adult responsibilities that come with being sexually active. My advice is for you to wait a couple more years. Allow your mind to catch up with your body and when you're ready you'll want to do it and not have to be talked into it.If you do decide to go ahead, remember to be safe. Use protection because any risk of contracting an STD isn't worth it. Also, if you decide to remain sexually active you should talk to your parent/gaurdian about being put on birth control. You can never be too safe.Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Hi
I would be inclined to not do it! Save it until its legal. The words 'convince me' i found a bit alarming.
Dont let yourself be browbeated into losing your virginity. You have every right to be the one saying when you are ready.
Take care of yourself.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (26 August 2007):
Okay, first of all, please don't feel that you have to have sex this early. Do only what you're comfortable with; your body your rules. You're worth the wait, and taking it slowly is worth it for you too. If he won't wait for you then he's not worth it.
Second, make sure you're safe. (Condoms, birth control, etc.)
Now, here's the easy part. ALL of us were beginners at one point, and some guys find that part really sexy. Don't pretend to know more than you know, and be willing to laugh at your own mistakes.
Rule of thumb: if it hurts, make him stop. If he says "ow" then you stop.
Keep the communication open. The best relationships are the ones where you can tell him EXACTLY what feels good, and he can do the same for you. DON'T expect him to read your mind, and don't let him expect that from you. You can always ask "how does this feel?" He should be asking you this too, unless it's beautifully obvious that you're enjoying yourself.
And make sure there is laughter during the process. Relax and play.
This is a journey. Have fun at all the stops. Don't be in such a rush to get there. It'll happen. And you'll learn how to have fun along the way.
...............................
A
female
reader, thaprincess  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 you should first start by thinking if its really what you want or if you're just doing it out of pressure, I myself am a 19 year old virgin so I really cant advice you on the sex part, but I will say that if its really what you want(emphasize on you)then theres nothing wrong with doing it, as long as you take precautions, make sure you go to a doctor or at least the nursery! and get information on how to protect yourself and the risks of sex, remember you're way too young to get pregnat and even worse to get a vd or aids, take care of yourself and it will all be fine (wink).
...............................
|
