A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, I am really akward when it comes to boys, but there is this particular one who is sooo sweet, and he is just beutiful inside and out, but one day when we were alone, he began to touch me, it felt so good, but as he began to try and unbutton my pants I began to freak out here is the thing I am a virgin, and he always tells me he is willing to wait but he really wants to make love to me! I am so scared! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Hey I know ho you feel, I almost slept with my Ex but im glad I didnt, if you two have been dating for long enough. Long enough to trust him. You shouldnt be afraid, Its totally natural to be scared, its a big step, but we all have to take it at some point. just ask yourself:
A) do I love him enough to have sex?
B) Whats truly holding me back? eg pregnancy or STD paranoia?
C) If the answer to B is yes, stress the use of condoms to him.
Im not trying to pressure you into it but whatever choices you make Im sure you'll choose wisely.
Have faith.:)
A
male
reader, KevinM  +, writes (23 August 2009):
This could be a good opportunity to test him. Some men say sweet things, and then once they get in your pants it all changes. Explain to him that you are not ready yet and wait at least a few weeks. If his attitude towards you doesnt change, and your relationship is still strong then you could most likely say that he is in it for you and not for his penis.
Decide at that point if you want to continue waiting or if you want to do it.
Dont forget, there are plenty of other ways to satisfy a man without actually having vaginal pentration... perhaps experiment with these methods until you are ready to do it for the first time. It will allow you to explore each other sexually and see if he is everything you want your first time to be.
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A
female
reader, xoxladyrellyxox +, writes (23 August 2009):
Sweety don't be scared if your not ready don't do it and if he really does love you he would understand and will still love you he might be mad but that's ok you have to show him that your part of the relationship too that you have some word into have sex I was scared too the first time but the after trying like 9 times by the 10th time we did it all I'm trying to say is take your time if your ready then try as many times as you can until it finally goes in if you try he can't get mad because that's really what he wants
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A
female
reader, briana983 +, writes (23 August 2009):
well its ok to be nervous i was my first time and it will feel good but think about what might happen in the long run if u realy want to the go only you will know when your ready
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A
female
reader, linz09  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Is this guy your boyfriend ? I think you really should be with a guy who loves and respects you before you even think of loosing your virginity to him..There is no rush to loose your virginity..but above all you should feel ready in your heart and your head before you even think of having sex with anyone.You only loose your virinity once in your life so make it a special time that you can remember not something you will look back on with regret...linz :)
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A
female
reader, linz09 +, writes (23 August 2009):
Is this guy your boyfriend ? I think you really should be a guy who loves and respects you before you even think of loosing your virginity to him..There is no rush to loose your virginity..but above all you should feel ready in your heart and your head before you even think of having sex with anyone.You only loose your virinity once in your life so make a special time you can remember not something you will look back on with regret...linz :)
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (23 August 2009):
 If you dont feel ready to have sex yet then dont do anything.
It might have freaked you out because you wasnt expecting him to make a move like that so soon.
If he is special he will wait until you say you are ready.
A special guy wont force you or make you feel silly for not doing it.
A special guy will respect you however long it takes for you to say yes.
Take your time and when you do eventually feel ready let him know.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Simple solution: don't do it. If he says he will wait then he will, and if he won't then I suggest you stay away from him.
Just to clarify, are you two actually going out? Because if you are, and he won't way for you, then he's probably not the right guy for you.
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A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Unfortunately you leave out a crucial piece of information: are the two of you in a serious relationship, and if so, for how long? If you are NOT in a serious relationship, then don't take this any further. Keep looking for someone who is not just sweet, not just beautiful, but who also loves you and is deeply committed to you. If you ARE in a serious relationship, then you must ask yourself, why you are scared: is it just because this will be your first time? In that case, the two of you should approach things slowly and explore your sexuality step by step (and there are many steps before you actually make love!). Or is it because deep down you know he is not the right man for you? In that case, it is better to end your relationship now than to keep him hanging on. You will find the right person, and you will know when the time is right.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Then don't do it! If you want to be a virgin, then stay a virgin. If he is willing to wait, then he will wait and he WON'T try anything. Period.
You need to be firm in your decision to stay a virgin. Tell him your reasons and do NOT waiver. IF he is the guy for you, he will respect your decision and wait.
And that's what you want, right? A man who will respect you and listen to your wishes? Not force his own agenda upon you, right? That's the guy you want. That's the guy you deserve. Many men seem "sweet" until they get what they want and then they aren't so "sweet" anymore.
Hope this helps.
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