A
male
age
,
*arried and lonely
writes:Hi not sure why i'm here but i am so i guess i should say something right? ok i am married but i feel so lonely my wife is so busy with our children which are not children anymore the oldest is 29 and the youngest is 24 so i can't understand why we can't have our own personal life and leave the kids alone.we are both 47 by the way.i have a high sex drive and sometimes i would like to have sex in the morning or in the middle of the day but my wife will only have sex after eleven pm when the kids are sleeping or gone so where she can't reach them i have talked to her about this many times but all i get is that i just don't like them and or she gets upset that i even open my mouth but yet when ever she is busy with them by phone or other wise she expects me to just sit there and wait until she is done with whatever she is doing what sould i do how do i get her to understand what i'm feeling
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, esepalo1  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 First of all she needs to comprimise with you on the issue you have i mean as men we have feelings and need attention from them we are not emotionless to many times in a marriage we get comfortable over time and the marriage starts to go cold she needs to understand that to have a healthy marriage its a full time job 24/7 some times you gotta start over and by starting over i mean like when you guys first started dating how in love you guys were always thinking about each other and getting butter flys and feeling young again over time when we get comfortable and forget who we married and why.My whole out look in life if life alot of time we get or take some one for granted and dont realize it until its to late hopefully its not to late some how or another you got to rekindle that first time you met and the spark you guys had for each other.The kids 29 and 24 are not kids but adults they should see how its affecting you and your marriage and could cause seperation or divorce.So my advice is to voice your conern and then start over and date your wife all over again and make her value and appreciate you again.HOPE ITS SOME WHAT HELPFUL.MUCH LOVE.
A
female
reader, ladycharm  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 maybe you could try going out on dates having romantic nights in and tell her calmly how you feel she maybe feeling the same way and maybe thats why she's focusing on your children so mmuch try and put a bit of romance back into your marrage maybe a weekend away just the to of you just talk to her and tell her what your feeling good luck !!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 This is a very good question, and one that I see posted by a man for the very first time. I hope I will manage to help you.
The simplest answer, and a likely one, I guess, is that she doesn't enjoy the same things you do. She knows what you want, but she is not in the mood to go along with it.
A second explanation can be that she doesn't care about what you're feeling. It seems like you're in the background. She does have an interest in her kids, but doesn't seem to have an interest in you.
Since you've talked to her, she must have given you a reason why she won't agree once in a while. I wouldn't expect her to do just anything you said, but, all people need to give in once in a while. Do you think you could share that, maybe through a private message?
If it turns out that she doesn't care, you need to make a little noise for her to pay attention. Maybe an open and serious conversation about where that is leading you to. I would never expect to have exactly what I wanted, but at least part of it.
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