A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi I found this website may be can help in this matter. I am single guy,35 years old.I am still virgin.I am live in uK but i am from Egypt and christian. MY regailion refuse any sex before marriage and in my religion sex before marriage (wrong and sin) I don,t know what can i doThank you[moderator's note: please abstain from making any negative comments about religion. Thank you]
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female
reader, Philosopher  +, writes (31 August 2008):
Not everyone can find a partner. Some people never lose their virginity - even if they want to.Which is more important to you: experiencing sex before you die? Or sticking with your religious beliefs? Even if you do decide to disregard your religions beliefs on pre-marital sex, that still doesn't mean you'll be able to find someone who wants to have sex with you.If one day you find someone you get along with and she is willing to wait until you are married to have sex, that's good. If she wants to have pre-marital sex and you say no, then you break up with her and never get another opportunity (for any sex), how will you feel when you reach old age?Take comfort in your religion - maybe God doesn't want you to have sex? Maybe He has decided you will never get to experience that pleasure.Alternatively question your beliefs and decide for yourself what is right.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I understand how you feel. I do also understand being true to God and waiting for the right one. I am a virgin still too. I have been waiting a long time to find the right one for me. YOu definately need to find someone who has similiar goals, dreams, and convictions. If you want to have sex and a relationship, you should try to find a wife . First try to make friends with single females that believe the way you do. Get to know them as friends and then you never know, then you may want to ask one of them out to get to know them better. Remember treat these girls with respect because one of them may be your future wife. If they are not your future wife then that means God intends them to be someone else's future wife.So you should not have sex before marriage. Wait for true love and your soul mate. It will be worth the wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Find a nice girl who shares your religious beliefs and get married and have kids. Stay a virgin untill then, but start to look for a good wife who can make you happy... Hopefully this will solve your problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): HiWhat if you get married and then have sex...great!What if you have sex then get married....even better!you'll know in advance if you will be in the divorce courts a few months later!If you question part of your religion maybe you need to question all of it? What is sin? What do you fear? all Fear is possibly sin because it casts dark shadows on life, and stops us fulfilling our true potential. Where does fear come from man or was it Mr G ? I thought Mr G was about love?. Is fear from the World and some of it's illusions that cloud us from Love and Joy. Is Your religion in a church or is it within YOU? only YOU can know what feels right for you. The FEAR OF GOD could be the evil? Why should we fear our father? Does this not separate us from him ? Why do we need an external label of religion? If we have a soul can not Gods divine spark be found within us needing no label? Be true to yourself not the world and it's illusions. In other words, if you want a shag have one! and put a smile on both your faces.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (30 August 2008):
 Cupidguy, duskyrowe, MuffinGirl and gabberjackranch have all made valid points; the problem is they contradict each other -- something which doesn't help you!
So let's weigh them up.
Firstly, gabberjackranch is correct that you should stick to your principles, and find someone who shares the same moral compass as you. That way you will find someone who is akin to your "soulmate". The downside here is that it will take time; as I will mention again below.
However, I think the tide turns with the next three posts. I would agree with duskyrowe that sex is a beautiful thing to share with someone you love -- married or not.
You're not exactly old are you; you're not even middle age yet, but cupidguy asks the right question; what's the holdup?
Probably because it takes time to find someone with the same beliefs as you; it's not impossible...but it will surely get harder as time goes on.
I think the clinching post is from MuffinGirl:
"Is it really good to believe in something which doesn't help you enough in your personal life?"
That's for you to decide.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (30 August 2008):
 I sense that you're struggling because, on the one hand, you desire to be true to the Christian life, but on the other hand, there is a lot of pressure to have sex outside of marriage. I think that if you are a Christian, then you will have experiences that have tested your faith. There's a lot of temptation to have sex outside of marriage, but you've overcome the temptation. It takes a strong will to do that. I think that maybe this is happening in your life as a test for your faith? I could be wrong, though. I certainly don't mean to offend anyone who is not a Christian... I think it's great that in the UK, the USA and in Mexico and other countries we have freedom of religion. I also want to clarify that I'm not bashing anyone who's had sex, or making value judgements. But, I admire you for sticking to your convictions because that takes so much determination.
Everyone needs, and wants, to have a mutual and lasting love. In order to have a successful relationship you have to have the same values. If a woman is pressuring you to have sex, even if you DID have sex with her, the relationship wouldn't work... because you don't have the same values.
You can find a woman who has similar beliefs to yours. You don't say what denomination you are (the Coptic church is the Christian church of Egypt if I'm not mistaken) but the important thing is to be Christian... Baptist, Catholic, Quaker, Presbyterian, Episcopal etc, and believe it in your heart. The right woman for you is a woman that will feel the same way about religion. It isn't easy to find that perfect person, but when you do, you will be glad that you waited. I would talk to the minister or priest at your church and ask where you can meet a potential girlfriend or wife.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I think you are doing the right thing, and I am proud of you for sticking to your convictions. I myself am a Christian, and believe the same way as you. Find a young lady that has the same moral compass as you. Best of Luck...
~~The GabberJack
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Question is, what you want to do? Do you want to throw away part of your beliefs or not? Maybe you should think more deep about your religion, because it's not so perfect as may you think it is. It's not neccesery all of its lessons are good and helpful for you life. Yes, Jesus haven't said anything bad and wrong, what about church? Ask yourself questions what do you want to do in your life, what about love, sex and everything. Is it really good to beleive in thing which doesn't help you enough in your personal life? Is it? Don't get me wrong, i think religion is a good thing, but not perfect. I don't see really big sin in sex with love involved(and without being marriage). If you're still convinced of your religion's beliefs, find a girl with the same beliefs as you. If it would be true love(it takes a time!), the marriage will be next. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 August 2008):
 The question is.... What do you want to do and what is your opinion on sex before marriage?No one has a right to preach to you what to do with YOUR BODY. There are to many nosy busy bodies sticking their noses into other people's business, saying this is a sin that is a sin etc etc. What you do with your life is entirely your business.... Life is far too short to worry about what other people think of you do with your life.Sex is a beautiful thing to share with the person you love.... MARRIED OR NOT!
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