A
female
age
30-35,
*addest_chikk
writes:okay this will simple question! I feel like I am n lovee but there is a 14 year age diff I am 17 and he iS 31.. I am loud and very out spoken i know everyone iN school and he is almost the complete oppositee.. He iS smart, extremely shy, very handsome, sweet, and super nice. I usually like the bad boy types and he iS the complete opposite of a guy i Would everr date..some times iThinkk he likes me but i cANT really tell.. my question is how would a shy older guy show a younger girl tht he is intrested even though he is off limits?What signs should i look for?Is it possible for a man who ISNT perverted to fall for a younger girl even though they were raised right?plese help me!!
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female
reader, southofnonorth  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Just out of curiosity, is he a teacher? If so, boy have I been there and it's not fun. A few years ago I was in the same situation that you are going through and I regret every second of it. I was attracted to a single older man who made me believe that I was special and only he could understand who I was. You end up allowing yourself to become a human puppet with the guy holding the strings. He never loved me as much as I loved him and that is why he got the young inexperienced girl like me (this may not all happen to you if you're lucky). It sucks and demoralizes you, and I'm not saying that he's after sex. With older men, it's more about the ego stroke they feel for taking advantage of young girls. My advise is to stay away from him and IF he's a teacher beware. They tend to keep girls up in till they graduate (or become legal) and ditch you for the new batch of freshmen.
With that said, i've been in your shoes and understand that it's hard for you to listen to what any of us have to say because your heart is there for him. I understand and respect that, but PLEASE just take it slow and not fall head over heels in love right away. We can never see clearly when that happens. You be the ringleader NOT him.
A
female
reader, JGSM  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 If this man is a teacher, your should wait until you aren't a student anymore. But if he isn't and you mean "off limits" as too big age gap I can just say that love is love. And if you love this man and think that you know him well enough to see that he has good intentions. And that he just happens to be in love with a seventeen year old girl and are not one of them who search for young girls, then you should go for it. I am a very independent, mature young women in the same age as you. I have a boyfriend who is 32. Our lives match because he doesn't want children right now, neither do I. He wants to travel and just work and save money. Just as I, we get along very well. But if your life is the same, I don't know. But as long as you know what you want and aren't hurting anyone else, you should live it.
Good luck
/S
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): When a girl likes someone they tend to over think things that would be completely trivial if they were not blinded by "love".
So a light bump on the shoulder or long eye contact doesn't mean much.
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A
female
reader, Agony Auntie Smiles +, writes (2 April 2010):
 The age gap will ensure you have little in common. A relationship with a man of his age will rob you of the opportunities which you probably will come to resent in years to come. To be bluntly honest you need to put your mind to getting an education and developing a personality.
Bad younger boys are a disaster waiting to happen and so are shy older guys.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
If he's off limits, he won't be interested at all. I think you've got a major crush on someone who won't like you back at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): I'm having a hard time understanding he is older, and you see him in school are you talking about a teacher? Is he married? when do you turn 18? I don't think age should matter but I would wait till your legally over age to make any kind of move.
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