A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im nearly 17 and he is 43 weve been together nearly a year at first i lied about my age but now he knows the truth he still loves me , but is what were doing legal? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shanni  +, writes (29 July 2009):
well i can really but to much input on it , but for me i think its super wrong ... i understand when ppl say i cant help who i love well thats true but doesnt that also come to a certant point were its "i should know better and i know this is wrong" ( or the saying age is just a number) well ... i guess but its ALSO THE AGE!! i mean aT a point if u step back and look at it from someone elses point of veiw doesnt it sound and look totally wrong ...
A
male
reader, Karaokeman2002 +, writes (6 May 2009):
Having read your discussion on here, I would like to add some input. I am a 43 year old male, I have 2 boys both twins aged 2 and so many months.... I have been close freinds with a young girl for a while. Since her 16th birthday we have talked a lot and now have become more than freinds. We both love each other and as for sex, that was the last thing on my mind. We both have loads in common, and enjoy going out and doing lots of things together. The boys love her to death, most people now know about us, it was hard at first but we have now adjusted to it. Neither of us saw this happening, it is just one of those things, where she has been there for me a lot recently through bad times with an ex. There is nothing perverse or dirty about our relationship and we both plan to be married soon. People at first were shocked but when they saw how happy we both are they have also accepted us. Although you will always get some people who are so narrow minded and just dont listen. Whether this is right or wrong we are both classed as adults and we bothb love each other, it is right for us and does work. Also we have talked about when I am older and have agreeed that when she finds it difficult to still be with me then we will live our own lives. That to me seems only fair on her...
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A
male
reader, Karaokeman2002 +, writes (6 May 2009):
Having read your discussion on here, I would like to add some input. I am a 43 year old male, I have 2 boys both twins aged 2 and so many months.... I have been close freinds with a young girl for a while. Since her 16th birthday we have talked a lot and now have become more than freinds. We both love each other and as for sex, that was the last thing on my mind. We both have loads in common, and enjoy going out and doing lots of things together. The boys love her to death, most people now know about us, it was hard at first but we have now adjusted to it. Neither of us saw this happening, it is just one of those things, where she has been there for me a lot recently through bad times with an ex. There is nothing perverse or dirty about our relationship and we both plan to be married soon. People at first were shocked but when they saw how happy we both are they have also accepted us. Although you will always get some people who are so narrow minded and just dont listen. Whether this is right or wrong we are both classed as adults and we bothb love each other, it is right for us and does work. Also we have talked about when I am older and have agreeed that when she finds it difficult to still be with me then we will live our own lives. That to me seems only fair on her...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): "nearly" 17 you say? and you have seen him for "nearly a year?
You must have been not much more than 15 or 16 at the start, and for a man of 42/43 to be even interested in a girl that young, is well hun..not really normal, over 18 or over 21 I can see it, but 15 or 16.
What do you have in common, if he just sees you forr sex, then theres the clue...think about this, and don't get too involved.
Seperate comment, my father was 57 when I was born, mum was 36. I don't regret his age, he was smart, loving and taught me alot though he did die when I was 18. Theres a lot worse dads than an 'older dad', such as over young dads who run out on the mother and child..no?
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Not until you're 18 so keep it on the down low.
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A
female
reader, Cay  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 awww hunni. well its your life, but there is a huge difference between 17 and 43. So, All i can say is do whats best for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): there is the same age difference between me and my partner , and both of us have never been happier. we have lots in common . until someone meets you both they cant judge you. dont bother with what other people might think its how you feel that counts.
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A
female
reader, Kathleeenie +, writes (5 February 2008):
 hi can i ask you a few questions im in a similar situation. would you be able to message me =] xxxx
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (5 February 2008):
 It seems to me that you are having second thoughts about this relationship, otherwise you would not be asking our opinions.
What is it you two have in common? I have a daughter the same age as you, and would be horrified if she brought a man home old enough to be her father home to me. I would be wondering what his real intentions are and why he cannot find a woman nearer his own age too.
What does your parents say, do they approve? I am sorry to say this, but although you are of legal age somehow I find the whole thing rather inappropriate. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, happyholly +, writes (5 February 2008):
I can c why younger women go for the older man, but i cant understand at his age he knows that it is wrong for him 2 c u. Only 7 years between myself and my partner and i still find he talks about things that i missed out due 2 the 7 years age gap. This does not cause any problems but i can see where many years age gap would. He is old enough 2 be your father and should be as wise but it is clear that he is not. I can not see this lasting and only hope you can see the light of day soon.What do your friends and Family think about it ( and if they dont know why not? most of us r so pleased 2 show our loved ones off but i can not see any members of your family thinking this is good for you.
Good luck ,Hollyx
lEGAL IT IS, MORRALY THIS IS WAY OFF LINE.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Just what kind of a relationship do you have with this guy? Is it mostly sexual? Please give us more information. There are red flags flying all over the place on this one.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Excellent advice from Tom Wilkinson. Even if this relationship is legal, it's also inappropriate. You two are too different to have a real relationship that works well.
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Yes it's legal, as long as you were 16 when you first started, however, it doesn't make it right. Youy have to think, when you're 25 do you really wanna be with a 51 year old? What if you have kids? The odds are their dad will be dead by the time they're 16, is that really fair?
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