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I'm 15 years old with a baby on the way and I'm incredibly afraid about my future. I need help badly!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a 15 year old girl with a baby on the way and has a 20 year old boyfriend. I really don't know what to do. I am incredibly afraid and I have no idea what's going to happen. I am NOT getting an abortion, it's totaly against my morals, plus I think it's illegal in Michigan.And on top of that, my mom kicked me out of the house last september, and the people I live with now are making me move out, so I'm moving in with my other friend. Except, I don't think that I should give someone else that kind of responsibility. I really don't know what my question is, except may, Does anyone have ANY advice for me? All my friends are giving advice, but they're all virgins who have no idea what's going on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

I am also 15 years old and iam having a baby girl. She is due on August 23.

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A female reader, happigirlcherl United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

happigirlcherl agony auntI realize this may be distasteful, but it is an option none the less. If you are willing to give your baby up for adoption, we would be interested. We are currently in the process thru our state for a home study so that we may adopt. It's exciting. I have 4 children, one of which I gave up for adoption when I was a teenager before I was married. Of course, we have recently found our way back to each other and visits are wonderful for both of us. None the less, sorry to ramble on...if you are still thinking of it though, you can private message me. Hope to speak to you soon. Good luck in whatever decision you guys do make. It will be a hard one, but that just shows it's one of those life altering decisions...

Note from moderator: You cannot post private emails here.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007):

Hello:

I am a mother or adult children. My 22 year old daughter had an abortion last November and is suffering the effects of the choice she made. All human life is here for a reason. I believe the better choice would be to put the child up for adoption with a caring couple that couldn't have children. You will never regret that decision, you could still be in contact with that child and when the child is older they may have to choice to know you as the birth mother. That child will give you thanks for their life. I wish my daughter would have kept her child, I even offered to raise the baby until she could keep the child.

God bless you in your choice. I would choose life. Your mother choice to give you life and no child is an accident.

Lori

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007):

hey im also 15 and im 8 months pregnant and i dont know how this is going to change my furture or how im going to take care of my baby boy

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A female reader, Seratuki United States +, writes (18 April 2007):

Seratuki agony auntHi!

I thought I could help, as I am also in the US. There are alot of programs for teen mothers out there.

Please have a look here.

http://teenmoms.ourfamily.com/

Its a hard situation, but it's not immpossible!!

Let me know how you get on sweetie

:)

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (18 April 2007):

I think you need to talk to a counsellor. Having a baby at such a young age is a huge deal, which I'm sure I don't need to tell you. Talking it through with someone else will allow you to make a clear decision on what to do with your baby, and how to cope. They will also provide support and help you find other people to support you.

Try a help line. I don't know what ones are where you live since I'm from Australia but I am sure there are plenty of help lines you can call and talk to a counsellor for free. Search the net for help/advice lines. Also try searcing the net for support groups for young mums.

Hope you find some help out there. best wishes

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (18 April 2007):

deejuliet agony auntLove this child enough to give it up for adoption. This will be an incredibly painful thing to do for you, but it is the right thing for the baby and the baby is the only one who counts right now. You need to get a good education and a good job and give yourself a chance to grow up into the woman you are meant to be. A child is the greatest gift and the greatest responsability that can ever be given to you. It means the end of doing anything for yourself, no parties, no new clothes, no regular teen things. Do what is right, both for the baby and for yourself. There is some family out there who cant have a baby of their own who would love to adopt your child.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi Darling,

You are in a very difficult situation here, a baby is a massive responsability. You dont mention the father, is he willing to stand by you, and support you and the child?. I know you say abortion is illigal in your state, but isn't under age sex, and living on your own at 15.

I really do feel for you, is there no chance you could patch up things with your mum. It sounds to me like you are going to need her help.

In the end it will be up to you what you want to do, but you really do need to get some help to decide.

Perhaps you could talk to another relative or teacher, as i am sure they would help you to come to terms with what you are facing.

And listen Honey, mums do get angry, and we do, and say stupid things sometimes. But if your Mum is a good one, I am sure you will be forgiven.

XXX Take care of yourself.

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A female reader, Bella55 South Africa +, writes (18 April 2007):

whoa, i thought my life was difficult. you havent said anything about school etc. i really think you need your family at the moment. do you not have siblings, uncles or aunts that can help you? anyone that you can confide in? i find that at times like these your family are important. if youre not willing to have an abortion, then i know youre not the type to give it up for adoption. i wouldnt anyways. you need to get hold of your dad, or your uncle or someone and ask them for help. stay with them if you can until you have your baby.make peace with your mom if you have to. its not about you anymore, its about that little baby thats growing inside of you. and then get a good job or finish your education. its going to be difficult but you have to do it step by step. start making money, saving and getting financial independence. once you are making enough money to support your baby and yourself, you can find your own place and start growing from there. its very difficult, but you hav eto believe that you have angels with you, guiding you. because you do. this baby was sent to you for a reason, and remember that God will never give you more than what you cant handle. i dont agree that you should give it up for adoption. theres loads of mothers that get it right at an early age and they become the best single mothers in this world. stay strong, and believe. you will find a way!!

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A female reader, Enzian Switzerland +, writes (18 April 2007):

Enzian agony auntHi Dear!

In my country we have a social assistance office organised from the state where everyone with social problems and money problem can go. There are very very strict there, but if someone like you are really needs help, they help. They look for a very cheep accommodation and so on, but you also would have editions. We also have some Christian beneficences for joung mothers and their children or mothers with children in very difficult situations. I don't know if there is anything like this in your country, but if there is, go there, explain your situation and ask for help.

What is very, very important for you, also if you will have a baby, but you musst finish your scool and complete an apprenticeship. This is very very important that you do everything you can do this even if you will keep the baby and look for it. If you have completed an apprenticeship you will be able to work in the future and earn your own money. It is important that you can stand on your own feet and be independent in the future. If you show you are willing for this you will easier get some help now. Maybe some of your of your boyfriends family and relatives will look for your baby the times you are at scool? Or - if you have one in your country - you go to a beneficences and they may look after he or she while you are at scool or work. You may will have to pay a little for it, but they will look how much you can raise.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

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A female reader, frizzylizzy Ireland +, writes (18 April 2007):

frizzylizzy agony aunthey there, I was 17 when I got pregant with my son. That was 12 years ago and he has changed my life for the good. Try speak to your mom again and see if you can sort something out with her.. What does your boyfriend want you to do. can he support you.. really have a good think about this.. could you really live with giving your baby away, I know it is hard, but im sure there is someone out there that can help you..

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A female reader, rachael123 United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2007):

rachael123 agony auntyou poor thing!i feel pregnant at 17 and was petrefied and that was with the help of my family and friends!first of all you said your mum kicked you out last september. does she know that you are pregnant? i think you should think about contacting her and telling her if she doesnt know.you will need all the support you can get.

i completly understand that you do not want an abortion as i couldnt go through with it either. but please think about your life and the life of your child. adoption is a big thing to think about. especially since you dont have a house, or money. how are you going to buy the basic things for your baby. i dont know how the government helps young mothers in america but it is worth speaking to someone who you can discuss the situation with. a teacher maybe or a docter or nurse who u trust.

last of all i would like to say that i had my daughter and it has been extremly difficult yet rewarding.but if i can do it then you can do it. but really think hard about what you are doing. whatever your decision it will work out and im sure your mom would want to have something to do with her grandchild. i wish you all the luck in the world. rachael xxx

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A female reader, chrissy32789 United States +, writes (18 April 2007):

chrissy32789 agony aunthey hun, the best thing for you to do honestly seeing that you have no where to go and your still to young is for you to give the baby up for adoption, so someone who wants a baby and cant have a baby can take care of he or she, but if you think that you can really give the baby the life it needs and pay for all the things he or she will need then then keep it but dont try it if you know you dont have money or the place for that baby to go, its not really that bad to give a child up to adoption alot of girls and ladies do that when they know they cant take care of a child. do the right dession. good luck

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