A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i recently became online ''friends'' with a man and i think everything heads in the wrong direction.i met him through an online game.he told me he needs someone to explain him the game,so i agreed to help him and added him in the buddy list,as he was from my country.he told me he is 40 years old and i'm 15.as long as i helped him,he was very sweet with me.he contacted me everyday and he added me in his messenger list.but one day i was playing with another friend and told him i can't help him right now and he became furious and told me i'm ignoring him and deleted me from the buddy list.a couple of days later i tried to explain him why i didn't help him and he didn't want to understand he said i was ignoring him on purpose.he was making stupid jokes i don't like:be a nice kid,grow up,go to bed and sleep rather than talking nonesense,shut up or i'll beat you.i tried to explain him i'm not a little stupid kid,but he didn't want to listen so i called him old man.he became very furious and told me i have no right to call him that,he was just joking ''nicely'' with me.he then showed me a photo of him and told me to wait until he finds one with him and his daughter.he told me he can't find it,so he showed me one with her and her mother.i told him his girl is cute,but nothing more.he couldn't accept this,as he thought she is very beautiful,but i told him this is my opinion.then he asked me how i look like.he wanted too see a photo of mines.i told him everybody tells me i'm really beautiful.''and very self-centered'' he told me.i mean i'm shocked after this convo with him.i didn't expect him to be like this.i did nothing wrong but tried to help him.everytime i tried to tell him how i feel he didn't want to listen.he spends around 6 hours per day playing that game and talking on messenger.considering this,how could he have a wife and daughter?when could he spend time with them at this rate?i talked about this with an adult and she told me to break contact with him as i already entered a dangerous game made by him.she doubts he has a family and is normal.she even think he could be a paedophile.i don't think the women from the photo were his family.please answer.i really need your opinions and advice!!
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (24 October 2009):
The phrase "future rape victim" is coming to mind here...
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Hello, I have professional experience of working in child protection here in the UK and I have recently completed a project on the law in relation to grooming. I can tell you in no uncertain terms that from what you describe the man is a predator, a paedophile and an extremely dangerous individual. If a grown man is spending 6 hours a day using online games to contact anyone, let alone teenagers, then he is a sad pathetic loser (as well as a risk to society). You are right to believe he is not a 'family man' and he probably has a serious personality disorder which means he finds it hard to relate to people in the real-world, and particularly adults. Sex offenders tend to have psychological issues related to control and power, and individuals who abuse young people do so in the (wrong) belief that their needs are higher than their victim. All his behaviour is characteristic of grooming. He gets angry and withdraws when you are not attending to HIS needs. Please block this man from contacting you on your computer and ignore any requests from him - he is 'swapping' family pics hoping it will escalate to something more seedy and they are probably pictures he downloaded from google of random people. I know of a case of a young girl in London who was corresponding with a 'boy' on facebook and she mentioned she was visiting the Tate Gallery on a school trip. A weird man in his 40's went to the gallery and tried to speak to her as he was pretending to be a boy and had all her details from facebook. I think you need to tell your parents what is happening with this man. You should also contact the local police as the chances are that your contact is either known to them, or potentially at risk of abusing other children and young people and therefore should be known to them. They can trace him from your computer using forensic techniques and the law on grooming has changed in recent years to bring greater criminal sanctions. You sound like a very nice person but please take care when using the internet as it is a dangerous place.
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A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Hey,I agree with both of the previous aunts, this guy is messing with you here.There are so many dangerous people out there on the web that we know nothing about, for all we know this could be one of them.I think it would be safer to break all contact with this guy and move on, as long as he doesn't know your number or anything like that then I think it's safe to say he won't be bothering you anymore.If he's on 6 hours a day then he either doesn't have a family or he's neglecting them. I think the first is more likely. Either way contact with this guy should stop, I'm sorry to day.Conversations with people on a chat-room, games should not be taken lightly. Sure you can have a laugh but you should always be prepared for the unexpected.Good Luck with everything! Hope it all goes OK x
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (24 October 2009):
I totally agree with Gina on this one. This guy sounds just like a paedophile and if he isn't he's just a sad boring weirdo that you really don't want in your life at any level. Delete and block him now!! And don't feel guilty.
Take care. You sound like a sensible girl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): yes i agree with your friend and with auntie gina. Cut all contact with him and block him from being able to contact you. This man is up to no good.
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A
male
reader, adamskidude +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Yeah the guy sounds like a total creep, break contact with him, add him to your enemies list and all that game stuff. Delete and block his messenger address. stop talking to this man.i do feel the need to say however that i also play online games and there ARE normal adults who play them and im friends with a few. Its fine to be in game friends with people but when it creeps over into real life you need to be careful.kthxbai ^^
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