A
male
age
36-40,
*lackadder
writes:My first time doing something like this so I'd like help please. I met this girl through my job a few months ago. Every week we got talking and chatting a bit more and more. I found that we got on really well and she liked me for who I am and she found me funny, interesting and fun, and I found her to be the same. She went looking to add me as a friend on Facebook, which was a complete surprise to me. I finally worked up the courage to give her my number. Then she started texting me, and we were texting a lot. Eventually I met her on a night out, and we hit it off great, kissed and she and her friend stayed at my flat. She said that she fancied me too, but couldnt believe that I fancied her (she is beautiful). We continued texting for a couple of weeks and I could only see her through work, due to circumstances beyond our control. She has said that she is attracted to me but the other night she text me telling me that things are complicated as she has come out of a long term relationship and her head is a bit all over the place with feelings etc. I explained that I too had gone through a very rough break up earlier in the year and I know exactly how she feels as you dont lose those feelings for the past person that quickly and I should know. I said that it feels strange when you meet someone you like after being with someone else for so long. This is the first girl that I have met that I feel really good being with and feels like she really cares about me too, and when she text me that she said that she didint mean to hurt me. The thing is I felt kinda hurt, dunno why, maybe its cause I really like this girl and I may have got my hopes up. I dont want to push her int something she doesnt want but we get on so well and she says that too. I just want to know how I sould play this out, as I really do like this girl and we have so much in common and we are both attracted to each other, Should I give her some space and let her sort things out, or did I do the wrong thing by telling her how I feel about her? She says she has had a rough time with guys lately and I have likewise with girls. I know I have given loads of info, prob too much but if anyone could help it would be great, as it has affected my confidence and I dont want to be rejected, as I do really like this girl.
View related questions:
confidence, facebook, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Me carlos se  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Im in a similar boat man. i went out with a great girl for a while. she was really into me. i saved her from her idiot ex and she dated me. then i had to leave the country for some time and so we broke up. i came back 15 months later to find her in another rocky relationship (11 months long) it ended soon after we started hanging 2gether again. apparently he didnt like me being around her. lol. go figure. so we kept spending our time 2gether and we still clicked well but when i told her i still had strong feelings for her she gave me that same line. i hate that line, im sick of hearing it. the problem is that i am a good friend to the girls i know but with her i want more. i spent the last few wks chasing her and may have messed up any chance at all with her. i have now stopped chasing her and all i can think 2 do is hope that she will come round and call me. if i am in her friend zone then for me, the friendship is over. i will never be happy as just her friend. hope i helped. thanx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I think you need to step back a little bit with your feelings ..i respect her for telling you the truth but im also with the first answer that she is pre warning you she may hurt you..when you genuinely like someone and have no bad baggage you would never want to hurt someone you like..so i would say that this girl is only friendship material at the moment ...you should widen your horizons some and get out there to meet other girls too :-)
...............................
A
male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 She said she doesnt want to hurt you. She is pre warning you. She knows exactly whats going on here. You are clueless. That sinking feeling you felt but didnt know why. Its the gut feeling you need to pay attention to. It tells you that something is wrong somehow.
She is feeling a bit guilty because she knows you will be hurt when you learn that you are not boyfriend material. And i dont blame her because you have had all the time and opportunity to ask her out and havent had the courage to try once.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): just continue on and take it slow. Enough to let her know you are there and interested but give her some space too and definitly keep communicating.
...............................
A
male
reader, blackadder +, writes (24 October 2009):
blackadder is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm just afraid of freaking her out or that I might not be able to compete with her previous relationship. I was very badly hurt by my previous break up and I've been cautious about moving on and I really like her, but dont want to be hurt or hurt her. I'm of a sensitive nature anyway and being told the phrase feels like rejection, when I know it isnt after all we need to be friends before anything else. She hasnt said this, but being told that she was in a complicated situation brought back those feelings to me.
...............................
|
