A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am a 14 year old girl. You need to know that because my question is about being ready for sex. Its a long question even though it answers will probably be short. Well, I have been with my boyfriend for just over nine months. We are really close and spend nearly every weekend together. I get on with his parents and he gets on with mine. Our parents did not know each other before we got together but now they are friends. My boyfriend has gone on holiday for two weeks to Florida and I since he has been I have only spoken to him a few times for a short period of time. I went on holiday the week before he did so we have not seen each other for three weeks. He comes home Friday and is meeting me from school. We are really close and have done sexual things before just not sex. This brings me too my question, I know I am ready for sex with him and he says he is too. It will be both of our first times, we have tried a couple of times but one of us has said stop because we did not feel that it was the right time when anybody could of just come home and walked in on us. We want it to be intimate and special and we already have condoms. We know about the risks of STIs and pregnancy. We have talked about these and are willing to take the risk of it. We have both agreed that we will not tell any or brag about this because we want it to be just about us. I was just wondering if you think we sound ready for this kind of relationship?Thank you.
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condom, on holiday, period, ready for sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlb01 +, writes (19 November 2008):
ignore everyone about the age thing!
if your ready, then do it :)
if your nervous and uncomfortable then dont but to me you sound like your ready :)
i recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend and im 14, and i found it amazing, so just cos its your first time doesnt mean it wont be enjoyable.
private message me if you want any advise :)
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): i'm 13, and i recently lost my virginity to my uhmazing boyfriend of about 4 months.
well you sound prepared so id say give it another try. i just hope your cautious that it will not feel good your first time, it's guna hurt. your guna feel really okward, and whether or not you tell anyone, i'm almost positive people will find out. just promise me you'll be safe. your not guna regret it.
if you have any questions
private message me! 3,
i wish you the best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 If you are really close to your mom, I urge you to talk to her about it. It is MUCH easier if she knows that you are having sex. That way you can go to her for anything like birth control or advice, whatever you may need. You are going to need guidance, I can assure you of that. What happens if you are pregnant? Are you going to keep that from her because she doesnt even know you are having sex? What happens if something happens in the relationship, are you going to keep it to yourself? It is always good to have someone who you can trust outside of a relationship because if something should happen, you will have someone to talk to OTHER THAN your boyfriend. He cant be there for everything, after all he is your age with little knowledge and experience himself.
So this why I said to talk to an adult about this and I hope you really consider it. Your mom might "flip" for a minute but she LOVES you and will do whats BEST for you. Trust me on that.
Take Care!
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A
female
reader, Amy4you +, writes (8 November 2008):
I think if you feel ready babe, then you should go for it. Just remember to use a condom because you dont want to get pregnant at this age. You will probably hear loads of people going on about "ohh your too young" etc. But if you feel ready, then go for it. You seem to be in a very long relationship and have alot of trust with each other. Hope it lasts well :). xxxx
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (7 November 2008):
If you think your ready. wait just a little bit longer.. So you know it's something you have waited a long while for and know you are not in a position of possible regret... cause for us girls.. sex isnt very plesant the first time round.
And the fact your asking basically strangers on our opinions shows to me on a deeper level that you ain't ready- cause let's face it you dont need us to tell u wht to do. no one can tell you if your ready only you can
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): PS: First time sex is rarely pleasant, it can hurt and you may not have much fun. It can take a while for sex to be enjoyable, and sometimes you can be left with regrets and actually want to leave your boyfriend because you feel guilty and this can destroy your love. Sexual intercourse can come to play a big part in your relationship, you may find that this is all that you do and the nice things you did before don't happen any more. If you decide to have sex once, it doesn't mean you have to do it all the time, you can still say no, and don't have sex again for a long while. Some teenagers find that once the start having sex young or have a lot of sex, they actually find it boring and go off it when they get older...
Lots of scary stories I know, they are all true, but maybe they might be true for somebody else and not for you. I would feel wrong if I neglected to point out the problems that can occur with underage sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): You present as aged 14 (underage) and currently living in the UK. At your age sex is illegal, and it's not sensible for reasons to do with health and emotional development.
I as an adult can not encourage you to have sex below the age of consent (16) but I see that you and your boyfriend have discussed this in an adult manner and you both seem to be very sensible in your attitude.
I have recently found this link, there are 10 questions you and him need to answer carefully to know if you are ready for sex. I wish you would wait, sex is better when you don't have to be frightened about adults finding out, it's better when you are older, relaxed, comfortable and have the support of your parents. But as I've been told by many teenagers it is your life, your choice, and old adults like me really don't understand. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, use a CONDOM, pregnancy at your age will really bring big burdens to your life. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't have sex and stick to foreplay, and other sexy things that will bring you both sexual relief and don't involve sexual intercourse. But it's your life and your decision and you will do what you want to do. Good luck babes, there is no rush, the average age for sex in the UK is 17years old.
http://www.avert.org/sex.htm
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, I am the girl who asked the question.
He is 14 years old like me, lets party.
Thank you for all the comments, they are really appreciated. I am very close to my mum but because she is protective I do not think I would be able to talk to her about this although she knows everything else me and my partner have done and always asks if I am ready but if I said yes I think she would flip.
Thanks again, please keep the answers coming.
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A
female
reader, -NothingLasts4ever- +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Bloody hell... you sound just like me and my boyfriend. I went away for 2 weeks to Florida and then when I came back he was on holiday so I didn't see him for 3 weeks in total.
& You've been going out for the same time as me and my boyfriend when we started having sex. & I was 14 lol.
But going from experiance, yeah I'd say your ready for sex. As long as you use protection and you're both sure it's what you want, go for it.
Good luck
xxxx
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A
male
reader, Austinalive +, writes (7 November 2008):
I think you'd be ready for sex when sex becomes less prioritary for you two.
Finally it'll be your desicion, but i can tell you what i've seen around me along years: women that have sex at your age usually meet their "love of her lifes" around 19, and then they regret haven't waited for him. Trust me, i've seen it too many times.
Good luck, wise desicions.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (7 November 2008):
Of course I am NOT going to think a 14 year old is ready for this kind of relationship. BUT, putting that aside and trying to see it from your eyes......
It sounds like you are in a really good relationship with your boyfriend. It appears that you 2 are pretty stable, open with each other, and are serious about this. So, I definately can see why you would want to have sex. Although I dont think this is the best thing for your age, I will have to say that this is better situation than most teens your age. SO here is my advice..
It sounds like you are going to have sex, regardless of what I say so I HOPE that you are prepared. It bothers me when you say "We know about the risks of STIs and pregnancy. We have talked about these and are willing to take the risk of it."
First, condoms dont always work, so there is a chance you could become pregnant but it is good to use them to prevent STDs. BUT, that is NOT a risk I think you should be willing to take. I think you should try and get on some form of birth control like the pill to make sure you dont become pregnant. And you need to discuss with your boyfriend, what should happen IF you get pregnant. Will you keep it? Will you abort? Adopt? These are very serious decisions that you need to think about before having sex. Also, do you think you could speak to an adult about this? Could you tell your parents or another adult like an aunt? They probably wont want you to have sex BUT Im sure they will be there for you in your decision.
I really hope you discuss this with your boyfriend some more and possibly an adult before making this decision.
Take Care!
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A
female
reader, Gio  +, writes (7 November 2008):
Hi,
You seem to have given it a proper thought, even educating yourself about the risks involved. Whether you are ready to have sex or not, you will know. As you said, there have been times when one or the other has stopped it for whatever reason. You have to take into consideration also the risks, the 'what ifs'. It is easy to say 'we know and are willing to run the risk'. But when a problem arises, then things can be different and you may find yourselves in a kind of trap. You are both very young, and have time to enjoy together, just talk and be sure this wont damage the nice relationship you seem to have at present.
Some girls are very good friends of their mums. I don't know if you have that kind of closeness to your mum, but if you do, perhaps you would like to confide in her and ask for her opinion?
Hope this helps. Feel free to write me if you'd like.
Best wishes
Gio
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A
female
reader, lets_party +, writes (7 November 2008):
 hey one of the things i need to know how old is he.
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