A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had something on my mind for a long time and I could use some wisdom in this situation.I would never try to steal, or break up someone's relationship... but, what I WOULD like to know is this:Suppose that you've been friends with someone for a long time (eg, several years). I know that people can fall for each other after years of being nothing more than friends. But, suppose that your friend is in a relationship. Does that mean that there's absolutely NO chance that he or she could ever fall for you? (Not while they're in a relationship, but in the future?) I realize that it would be a mistake to put your life on hold for someone... but, what COULD happen in the future? I can handle the truth... I would just like to hear from people who have experienced this situation.Thanks... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (1 April 2011):
Yes.As a male, it have happened to me. Although right now I'm in a relationship, before I got into it, I had some feelings for other girl. If my girlfriend dumps me, I know who I am going to pay a visit. While in a relationship, I totally forgot about this female friends. Try to stay around him from a distance, while at the same time look for other handsome and gentle guy out there. I personally won't wait that much being a single, and won't wait for the other person to get available. I hope you find what you are looking for!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): I'm the original poster...Denise, I really appreciate your advice, but to clarify, I'm not holding out! I'm at a point in life where I am not 100% sure what I want... I just need wisdom and closure about something. Furthermore, this person isn't in Spain right now and so the distance has also been a factor. I care about this person but I wasn't ready to put down roots. Thank you for your advice, though... the insight of others helps me a lot.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): There is a chance that he or she could fall in love with you. me and my best friend broke up with our boyfriend and girlfriend around the same time. we started to head out all the time just spend more time together going to the cinema or just talking. Then one night he turns and just gives me a kiss and told me that he loves me and always has we have been going out now for about 4 years and are still really happy together
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Okay......you have known this person a long time - presumably before he was in a relationship?? and in all that time it has not progressed into more than friendship? Did you at any point let him know you hoped for more?
But now he is in a relationship. One of two things will probably happen: either they will go on and marry some time in the future, or they will eventually split up. In that cast, you COULD try approaching him - provided he's not mourning the end of his relationship - and see what happens.
What I really want to ask you is why are you not looking for other young men in all this time? Why are you still holding out hope for something that may or may not occur years from now???
...............................
A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (1 April 2011):
yes of course there is a chance. just dont force the situation. let sort of happen if it does. unless he is going out with someone at the moment. if he trys the whole oh i love you more then i love my current gf then these are the 2 routes for that. just as a fwb kind of thing or you tell him to go and screw himself. but also there is the chance that it wont be anything more then a friendship. and also if you express your feeling for the person expect things to be very awkward if he doesnt feel the same way. there thats all the wisdom i have on the topic.
...............................
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I always recommend being honest and up front about how you feel about him. It gives you a fighting chance and it gives him the ability to make an educated decision. He is currently going out with a woman. He may love her and he may end up marrying her, even if you tell him that you love/like him. However, if you don't tell him how you feel, the chances of you being with him is zero. I know this is a cliche saying that Wayne Gretzky said, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
...............................
|
