A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago.I met him when I was 16 (I'm going to be 18 soon) by my friends. I have a group of friends and we're 10 in that group. I was the last one he met. Some of my friends had a crush on him and they were trying to flirt with him and he was flirting with them too. After four days of the day he met me he stopped flirting with them and he asked me out.He told me he loved me but I didn't took him very seriously because I thought he wasn't serious about me because he had been flirting with all of my friends who liked him (but he never told my friends he loved them). We went out for almost a month and then I told him it wasn't working out for me. I thought I dont' love him but on the night that we broke up I realized I had fallen inlove with him. He begged for another chance but I told him it will never work out.After that night we started all over. We were going out but this time it was a different date. We were always together and we were going out every single night. There are nights that we can't go out so we're just gonna talk on the phone for like 5-8 hours. After 3 weeks, we got back together. 3 days before we got back together, he took me to his house and told his parents I was his girlfriend. His dad actually saw us together during the day and in the afternoon his mom texted him so at night time he took me to his house. I introduced him to my family after couple of days we got back together.On the night we got back together, I told him that I cheated on him for just 3 days. He got a little mad but in the end of the night he said he doesn't care because he loves me. During our relationship, we were happily inlove. We see each other everyday and everynight. But then it was time for me to come back here in the States. (he knew on the first day that I met him that I was coming back pretty soon but he was the one who insisted having a relationship) I told him I don't want to have a long distance relationship but he said we'll make it together and he told me he was willing to wait. We had a long distance relationship for 10 months. It was hard for both of us because we wanted to be togther. There was a lot of arguments as well. In the middle of our LDR he deleted his facebook account because he said he wasn't using it anymore. I didn't care because it was his account. When we were fighting I asked him if he's hiding something from me. And then he confessed that he was flirting with some girls. He told me they were texting everyday but they never went out. So I broke up with him because I got hurt so bad. I trusted him but he flipped me over. I gave him chances though because I understood. But then stuff weren't working out anymore. So we ended up breaking up again. After we broke up, we tried to fix our relationship but he still doing the same thing which was flirting.When we officially broke up, I told him to go have a girlfriend and do whatever he wants. I told him to try to fall in love with someone else and I'll do the same thing. And if time will come that we still love each other, we could get back together. So he started do date other girls but I didn't cause I was focusing on my studies. Although, he thought I was dating someone. We were still talking though, and he'll tell me stories about it and he told me during their dates they will just talk about me. But then I told him I don't wanna hear the stories anymore because I don't have the right over him anymore. So he stopped.After 5 months of being broken up (which was 3 weeks ago) he messaged me on facebook and told me he still loves me and he said he tried to move on but he can't. He said he dated a lot of girls and he was trying to flirt with a lot of them but he can't move on with our relationship. So we got back again and we were together for just 4 days. Cause he told me he slept with someone. I'm not sure if there's a lot of them or just one person. I told him, I can't accept that situation.He asked me if I did so I told him the truth that I never did. But he never believed me. On that day, I asked him that I needed space and time to think about it and he was just like okay. After couple of hours I texted him that I wanted to talk to him about it but he was like "NO" so I was just like what the heck did I do? so we stopped talking.The other night though he messaged me on facebook again and he said "*sigh*" I replied right away, I asked him what's wrong and asked if he's okay. I try to act like everything is okay between us. He haven't replied though.so yeah, I just wanna know what you guys think about our relationship. and if you guys have any advices for me. I still love him after all but I just can't accept his flirtiness and his lies and specially the fact that he slept with someone (I was his first time and he was mine)If you guys have any advices that'd be great. Thank you!
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broke up, crush, facebook, flirt, get back together, got back together, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 I think it's clearly not working out.
First , it's long distance and not that's against the law to have an LDR, but what's the point if neither one is
planning to relocate where the other is within a reasonable time frame ( say, one year,maybe two at most ). What do you want, to keep chit-chatting for an indefinite length of time ?... that's a fantasy, not a relationship.
Second, you said it yourself, you can't get over his flirting and having had sex with another girl. So, if you can't get over it,... how is this problem gonna go away ?
Third, he does not trust you either, does not believe what you say, and without mutual trust relationships are doomed.
Last, you have broken up twice or more in a not very long time, and you have being arguing quite a lot.
It really does not sound like it's meant to be.
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