A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met him on a dating site and dated him for 2 months. The first month things were going really well and we were spending almost too much time together. The second month is when things started to go downhill especially after telling me he wanted to continue meeting/dating other people. He gave me a long list of what's wrong with me and also said that I needed to have more "fun" friends. And that's why he wants to stay friends with me. I admit that I'm not from the area I live in and I don't have too many friends, or the friends I have are rather quiet. His idea of having fun is to go out from bars to bars every weekend and get wasted. i just talked to him on FB tonight and he was being sarcastic asking me what kind of crazyness I got into last night (when he knows I didnt go out) and asked what I was up to tonight and said that he's not worried about me because he knows im completely content to sit at home on a Saturday night. My question is: what kind of F...G a-hole is that? I know my social life is not great but even if that's the case why is he such an asshole about it and why in the world would he still want to be friends with me??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Ah then it's much clearer why he still wants "to be friends " with you.
Everybody needs a "spare wheel ", a "just in case "- or more than one. In case some night all the 20something caught a bad cold showing their cleavage and can't go clubbing.
Avoid.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 November 2010):
"Still wants to be friends." Heh, well I would tell him not to count on it. No wonder he picks twenty-somethings. They're more gullible and naive than people in their thirties. Or maybe he's just a decade behind when it comes to brain development. I'm betting on the latter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): I have a question: why the hell are you still talking to this loser? My idea of fun isn't going out and getting wasted either. Tell him to take a hike. He probably keeps you around for "fun" if you catch my drift. Don't waste anymore time on someone like him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Thanks everyone for your responses! That may not have been clear but he did end it with me a week ago and that's when he told he still wanted to be friends. The reason why I didn't completely phase him out of my life is because that first month we had was just awesome. I thought I had finally met a cool, attractive, intelligent man and he seemed to be really into me. I didn't really think he was the one for me but I am not looking for a husband just yet and just wanted to have fun with him and see where things go. Then I think he started realizing that I wasnt it (he says he's looking for a wife) and then started being less hooked up. Not once did I criticize his lifestyle, people are free to do what they want. While he's always been a little judgmental. BTW he's 33 and I'm 31 and I'm the oldest girl he's ever dated, he tends to prefer girls in their mid 20s. I think I am disappointed because the couple times I talked to him after him ending it, I thought he would actually be nice but he's actually been more judgmental. Told me I was too sensitive, too picky, not having enough of a social life. It sucks because I did have a good time with him when he was into me.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (7 November 2010):
I have better questions for you :
- you and this guy are not compatible, don't have much in common and don't have the same idea of fun- why are YOU still keeping him around ? What's the purpose ?
- what do you care if a perfect stranger criticizes your social life ?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Who is this man to say that you need to have "fun" friends? And is he doing you a favor or something, by being friends with you? Sometimes people get sadistic pleasures by hurting others, and pulling them down. In your case, this man seems to think that your social life is pitiable and he is the key to your "fun" life, so to speak.
Why on earth are u still friends with this immature moron? Please get away from such people..you can surely do better!
My social life is zilch too, but I'm so glad that I'm not a part of the party-drinking-bar-random "fun" scene. I wud much rather stay at home with family or a few close friends, than go out an waste the night away. I'm not judgmental of others who do so...to each his own...but thats just not my cup of tea.
Dont take any shit from him. I know its best to completely avoid such jerks, but you can just tell him that its his shallow life which is pitiable....and if he thinks he's having "fun", then he can just keep telling himself that. All the best to the merry-making. Let him make a fool of himself. Why do you care?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 WTF? He made a list of your flaws and sent them to you?
Pshh..
Well excuse you for growing up out of the getting wasted, party hardy, down some aspirin with your Budlight bar scene. You're way too much of a grown up, classy lady to be caught up in that college/uni scene. Well, if he's got so many fun friends then what is he doing on Facebook on a Saturday night? He's most likely a loser, that goes out to the clubs by himself whereas his colleagues are all at home tending to their families..he's prowling the pavement like a creepster trying to hit on college/uni women. I would tell him to take his "fun" friendship and stick it.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 November 2010):
I get pretty crabby when people act like that. This happened to me too, but this wasn't a love interest but a new classmate.
I would say: "Pardon me for not wanting to evaporate every braincell I have by getting wasted every weekend. In my humble opinion that's not a very constructive or even fun way to spend my free time. Waking up feeling like I got hit by a truck every weekend isn't what I'd call enjoyable, but if you feel differently, that's fine. I accept people for who they are. Just know that I'm not going to change myself just because you think something's wrong with me. I'm not broken, so I don't need to be fixed. Accept me for who I am and quit the snarky comments or don't bother to contact me at all. Your choice."
I know this is pretty harsh, but believe me, it gets the job done. He needs to know he hurt you with his actions and that he can't just go ahead and bash everything you stand for just because he feels like it.
You'll find a better man than this. A lot better.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Sounds as if he doesn't respect you and the choices you make about yoru social life.
If his idea of "fun" is to go from bar to bar every weekend and get drunk, then I don't think much of it. And HE has the nerve to give YOU a long list of what he considers to be wrong with you?!!
Give me a break!
If he wants to continue seeing and dating other women, then for pete's sake LET him! - and good riddance.
You can surely do better than this man.......
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