A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What would you say if a girl you had just started seeing say for about a week, told you she was going on this kind of holiday. And you knew that she will probably get with guys when she's out there.. would you end it or stay with her?Because I'm going on a girls holiday this month and i've only just started seeing this guy for about a week. But the thing is, this place I'm going to is a wild party holiday. I haven't told him yet, because i don't know what he'll say.I'm just wondering, because i know i probably will end up kissing some guys out there (nothing more). So i don't know whether if i kiss any guys out there whilst I'm seeing him, if that is considered cheating? I mean 'seeing' someone doesn't mean you are together, so it can't be cheating right? Especially if it hasn't been long we've been seeing each other for....
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): What he doesn't need to know, he doesn't need to know. You aren't in love or anything. Its only a week, who knows if it'll even last?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): First of all tell him you're going on this wild holiday.
Because you're not in a relationship that means both of you can see other people. How would you feel if it was him going on a wild holiday and you had an idea that he would be kissing loads of girls, how would you feel about that? How would you feel about him?
Nobody would have the right to judge you of course whatever you decided, but how would you feel if you did, basically how do you feel about this guy? Would you like it to be more? Is he bf material, has he been kissing other girls whilst with you?
Personally if i wanted more and I really liked him and he was a great guy then I wouldnt be in the slightest bit interested in kissing any other guys appart from him, regardless of whether we were in a relationship, even though I could, I just wouldnt be interested, if i really really liked him of course, but thats just me :)
Its totally down to you, whatever you do have fun and enjoy your holiday.
Good Luck.x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 June 2011):
You're not exclusive, so he doesn't really need to know anything. And you've only been dating, so he really doesn't need to know anything.
Of course, if he's a great guy, who seems like someone you'd want to be with or at least get to know more, then I'd recommend not kissing other guys. From a personal point of view, I would be very wary of a woman who had initially started seeing me, only to then find out she was kissing others. No, it's not cheating, but no one realistically would be impressed about it, because it raises other questions such as "am I being played?".
I think it would be a waste to ruin a chance with this guy - so think about it.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (1 June 2011):
 If you don't think he would be happy about it, don't do it.
At the end of the day, why ruin a potentially good relationship for the sake of some drunken kisses? I am not sure it is worth it.
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A
female
reader, carebare  +, writes (1 June 2011):
100% agree with Drew21. Took the words right out of my mouth.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): "so it can't be cheating right"
So, be honest with him, tell him right out that you are going to be getting with other guys while you are gone.
That should clear the air, so he can do what he wants, you can do what you want, and everything is FAIR.
Right?
Problem is that you don't want him doing what he wants, you just want to do what you want, and that is NOT FAIR.
"I haven't told him yet, because i don't know what he'll say."
You already know the answer to your question. You want him waiting for you when you get back from having your fun. You don't want to give up your fun. That is CHEATING.
In fact, in relationships, if you are doing something, or planning to do something, that you don't want your partner to know about because you know they will dump you over it, you are cheating and being manipulative and lack honesty in your treatment of them...which is CHEATING.
CHEATING = NOT FAIR
FAIR = NOT CHEATING
Very simple.
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A
male
reader, Drew21 +, writes (1 June 2011):
 What happens at a Wild Party Holiday should stay at the Wild Party Holiday.
It's so early in the process of 'dating' that i think you should just not tell him any of the details.
Say "I'm going away for the week."
When you get back say "I had a really great time."
Nothing else need be said.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): I'd end it. If you're going to kiss other guys then why are you seeing this one?
If you do kiss other guys then he'll just have the right to do that too he may find another he likes more when he knows you're on holiday kissing other guys and while you may not do anything more than kiss them then by the same reasoning he can have sex with other girls all he wants. Because kissing is a sexual act in that context.
I wouldn't continue seeing a girl who did that because obviously is still out testing out other guys. Plus if he actually likes you any kind of way, knowing you're off kissing other guys will be pretty crappy.
It depends on him though OP. So it's best of you discuss this with him. You see you sound like you're just not going to tell him, but if you do become exclusive in the future and he finds out you were kissing guys behind his back then that will end it.
Honestly though OP, as long as he knows you and he aren't going to be exclusive or he doesn't mind you doing that, then that's all that matters. I personally don't date girls that go kissing other guys while they're with me. It shows me that they have no interest in getting serious with me in the future and if they want to act single it's best of they are single.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): well, put yourself in his shoes with the following scenario: You have met him and have been seeing him for a week. you haven't said you are exclusive, but you are digging him. if he went away for a week on vacation and made out with several other women, how would you feel? At the very least, you would determine that this relationship is going nowhere. If he really cared, why would he feel the need to test the waters with other women?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 well you've only been dating a week so it's not exclusive yet or it should not be...
and you don't KNOW that you are going to kiss any other boys do you?
Not sure it should even be an issue at this point.
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