A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Do all girls think that scuzzy-looking barfly guys are hot or is it just a certain type of girl? All of my girlfriend's ex-boyfriends look like the type of dark-haired scuzzy bar-hopping, goateed, jewelry-wearing guys I would, as a woman, stay far, far away from. I am not saying they were bad guys or didn't have successful careers with nothing going for them, but to give you an idea every single one of them is still single now (as in: never had a relationship over about a year long) even though my girlfriend is 40 and most of them are 37-42. I browsed through some of their Facebook pages and their friends are lots and lots of slutty looking girls, usually somewhat younger blondes (probably dyed) who fawn all over them.I am a handsome guy, but in a different way. I am a blonde with blue eyes and clean cut. Women don't throw themselves at me and I would probably reject any that did. All of my relationships have been long-term. All of them. I know my girlfriend loves me and not them given that she is with me, but one time when we were first dating she made a mistake in telling me that her ideal guy (physically) was one of her first boyfriends, let's call him John. He is a good-looking guy when/if he cleans up, but most of the time he looks like the greasy schmoozer alcoholic he is with the top buttons on his $100 shirt undone, tight leather pants, and the works. If I saw that guy I would think from a mile away that he's a man-skank. I just don't understand the allure and yet a revolving door of women fall all over themselves for him.I know about how "bad boys" appeal to many women, but we're talking about appearance here, not attitude. Why couldn't my girlfriend's ex's all look like Rob Lowe or something? I would understand that. Instead, they are all men I think are, frankly, rather gross. Think Johnny Depp when he is off the wagon. Obviously, that's a bad example because Johnny Depp is a handsome guy, but that's the closest example I can think of right now. The female equivalent would be if all of my ex-girlfriends looked and dressed like Carmen Electra or something in way-too-revealing clothing and acted slutty. I would question any guy who dated too many of those girls and likewise I question my girlfriend's taste in men. That's why I ask if most women think these types of guys are hot or if it points to some personality flaw with my girlfriend and I wonder if she finds me sexy at all sometimes.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Ewwww, those guys sound horrible!
In her defence though the man I ended up marrying was nothing like the type of guys I went out with before him and we're very happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): "I was a bit surprised to see that the guys she had been with and thinks are hot are pretty much nothing like me and, more importantly, not really the most decent guys (relationship material). They are basically advertising that fact with the way they look and dress and yet she just lapped it up like some dumb, young bimbo."Here is the root of the problem. You have learned something about her personality and it has made you less attracted to her than you were before. You are one notch less compatible with her than you previously thought. I'm not necessarily saying you should break up with her. That's your decision. I am just saying don't apologize for the way you feel about this. We're talking about her judgment here. Her weakness is a common one but that does not mean you are required to overlook it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Ewwwww no those guys sound disgusting. I mean take a frickin' shower!
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A
female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Because in the movies there is always this "bad boy" who falls in love with this one good girl and he changes his whole life for her, thats why. But this is not a movie its real life and in this life people will not change unless they realy think it is the best thing to do at the time. Enywais point is we just always want to be that ONE girl who changes the bad boy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011):
OP here:
I forgot to mention that I don't see my girlfriend as the type of girl who would be with guys like this AT ALL. She is very sweet, genuine, intelligent, somewhat conservative, and an understated beauty. You will never see her post photos of herself on the Internet with her boobs hanging out taking Jell-O shots. She's not a party girl in any sense of the word. She looks and acts nothing like the rest of the girls these guys have been with. (I have run across a couple of them socially.) I am not surprised they'd be into her, because those guys are serial daters who will date any cute and willing girl for a few months, but I was a bit surprised to see that the guys she had been with and thinks are hot are pretty much nothing like me and, more importantly, not really the most decent guys (relationship material). They are basically advertising that fact with the way they look and dress and yet she just lapped it up like some dumb, young bimbo.
I would be horrified if my daughter was dating guys like those. I am wondering if she has some latent desire for excitement or that somehow it boosts her self-esteem to be with a guy that lots of slutty girls want to be (and have been) with. Will she be bored of me long-term or it that some phase women go through that she now has out of her system?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 I don't know man but it does seem that way sometimes that the real jerks get the best looking,sexiest girls to fall for them. I've been an observer of life for a lot of years and some match-ups I've seen make No sense at all! BUT, phsyical beauty ain't all it's crack up to be either. I've seen some beaty contest winner types be real losers. So a Ten may end up being a zero once the veil comes off. There is no rhyme or reason to attractions. You'll just have to keep on 'interviewing" there is always someone to love . Might not break the records on the beauty scale but has a personality that intertwinews with yours so tightly you can get away. Looks are not everything, they're just the result of make-up and good genes.The sexiest women are sometimes the ones with the zits and the small boobs.
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