A
female
age
36-40,
*hatehim
writes:I recently wrote about my husband cheating and going back and forth undecided who he wants to be with me (his wife) or his lover. And i know its obvious that i should leave him and I'm being strong and I'm trying to move on with my life, BUT when he comes down to see his girls, i cant help but want to be with him. I know that he is having sex with his lover but when i see him i dont care and just want to be intimate with him. And of course he will have sex with me cuz its there. I dont want to feel this way because i wont be able to get over him if i continue this way. But i feel like if i dont have sex with him I'm going to lose him for sure to that other girl. Of course i dont want to lose him cuz we had been together for so long and have 2 daughters. Basically my question is what do i do when he comes over to my house. How should i act around him to let him know that I am moving on and dont want him even though i do but i dont want him to know that. Help me please!
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ihatehim +, writes (31 July 2007):
ihatehim is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank u everyone for your advice...it has helped so much...i'm feeling alot better now....thank u!
A
male
reader, A lullaby to paralyze  +, writes (31 July 2007):
In my opinion you need to talk to him, find out why he is having an affair.
I know cheating is considered some sort of sin, but there can sometimes be valid reasons behind it.
This conversation will give you the answer to what is right.
See how he acts during this conversation
...............................
A
female
reader, myp +, writes (30 July 2007):
 when he comes over to see your children, leave the area, go read a book or an art project like flower girl suggested. If ur still sleepin with him, hes gettin everything, the lover and the wife, and ur getting nothing.Go out and have fun, take a break when he watches the kids.Go out with ur girlfriends, or do something u enjoy, that way u wont have to be around him and its less of a temptation. Hes got a lover, and if he wants to sleep with you hes got to get rid of her, or else youll never be happy and ur realtionship will never be healthy.best of luck-Myesha
...............................
A
male
reader, NuVu +, writes (30 July 2007):
What if one of your daughters was all grown up and she came to you with the exact same problem? What would your answer be then? Would you tell her to keep chasing after a guy who clearly doesn't respect her? Would you tell her to have sex with a person who doesn't respect her? Do you think that will help him respect her? I think you already know that it doesn't work that way. The more you cling to him... the more you want him... the more its turning him off. When you ar strong, and vibrant, living without him and living life on your terms... that's when he'll be kicking himself in the head for his stupidity. If you don't stand up for yourself here, your setting a bad example for your daughters... don't do it. You must demand respect and if he doesn't provide it... well then there must be some consequences. Decide that your moving on. Then do one thing today that signifies that you are moving on (not just to him, but yourself too) Than do one thing tomorrow and the next day. Before you know it, you've moved on.Its difficult i know, but hang in there.
...............................
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
You feel you need him but you don't he is playing with you its not fair on you nor your beautiful children and its not fair on his girlfriend either, he is a cheat babes and its so unfair on ll of you....
Having his cake and eating it bet he is loving it the swine.....
You get strong babes, your worth a lot more than that you deserve to have a man in your life who has total respect for because he certainly doesn't he is just having sex with you and thats all it is, its not going to make him come back is it????
You can still give your kids a good stable home life and teach them the right way in life to be cherrished, loved and respected thats what your worth,
Sorry to be blunt but he has made my blood boil treating you like this babes, you have given him the best thing any woman can give and thats his kids well what a great way to repay you,
Please get strong hun, think of yourself your so worth MORE
Love Donna xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Hmmm...it would be so tempting to somehow notify the current g/f (annonymously of course) and let her know that he's sleeping with you every time he comes to see the kids. Maybe she'll get pissed off and dump him. But then again, this man really isn't worth keeping in the first place and he'll probably just cheat on you again even if he did come running back. Be strong sister, pull yourself into reality and quit letting him double-dip. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Stop giving him what he wants when he comes round, blimey hes having his cake and eating it isnt he!This is going to ruin any self esteem you have left.Im amazed that guys can treat the mother of their children like that.If you want to play hard to get it will end in tears.Nice for his new girlfriend too!Is this a little power thing to get one over on her?If so, let her know what hes been doing then sit back and watch them fall to bits but make sure you're not there to pick up his ass?Its tempting but its a waste of your time sleeping with him, and i think its going to become very damaging for you.I would obviously let him come see the kids but when he tries it on next time you should say er no, forget it. Im not a piece of meat im the mother of your children!Hope it works out ok.C xxxxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (30 July 2007):
 I feel into that trap when my husband left, i thought if i carried on sleeping with him i would still have him, boy was i wrong he just had the best of both worlds.
When he used to come round and see the kids i ended up saying i am going to have me time and dissappearing to the bedroom and reading a book or something.
We are now back together and i think that because i did not let him use me that helped.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
