A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy online and have been talking to him for about 4 months now. We've gone on 1 date a few days ago, and it went pretty well: met up for a casual dinner. Then he pleaded with me to come back to my place which I agreed, and we made out light until early next morning. Yes, it was a long date. Lol!The question is I have only heard from him online via instant messenger. He has not called me nor answered mine. I asked if he is really interested in me or is it just a physical thing, he said that he is genuinely interested in me. So then, why doesn't he attempt to talk to me over the phone, and or communicate with me more after our great date? I kind of feel like he's stringing me along. Any thoughts on the situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): So I grilled the guy to near death about why he didn't call, etc. Finally, I got an answer out of him. He has been having custody issues with his ex's family (long story), and has been stressed out about it. He says he didn't want to tell me because it's not my problem. He's understandably very distraught over it. He still assures me that he is very interested in me, and that I am the most awesome girl he's gone out with in years. He has called me everyday or messaged me online since our talk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): I am the original poster of the question, and no I did NOT have sexual intercourse with the guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We just kissed and hugged a little. It was NOT sex!!
Thanks for your answers--appreciate it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Denisedenise just might be right, but we don't know enough about this guy's personality yet to shrug off the scared thing. How would you describe the online relationship you two shared? If he is still genuinely interested, as he says, he will continue online contact. Possibly he would rather the in- person meets to be held off until he is ready (there is such a thing as a shy guy!)... but if nothing comes of him for a while, you can assume it wasn't meant to progress into anything more.
-Tante Vic
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A
female
reader, mysticpurple  +, writes (9 December 2010):
I think you have already answered your own question "I kinda feel he is stringing me along ".
They say actions speak louder than words, and in this case what actions has he done... lets look at what he has not done...replyed to your messages or contacted you to arrange another meeting.
You know deep within you that he is not bothering with you... let go of him dont hang onto something that isnt there... instead of wasting your time on this chap... concentrate on finding someone who will love and respect you which you truly deserve :)
Just put this one down to a life experience after all sounds like you had a great date. :)
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Look, the poster who said he may be interested but too scared in case it doesn't work out, has got it wrong.
If he WAS genuinely interested and wanted to see you again, you would have heard from him. When you asked if he is interested and he said he is, admittedly that's putting him on the spot. What else was he expected to say? "No, sorry, I'm not" or "I don't think this is going to work out."
As others have said, he might be married or have a live-in gf; might be a player (even if not married).
I don't really think there's anything here to get to the bottom of. Unfortunately, unless you hear from him within the next week, you can reckon you have your answer.
Next time, don't jump into bed with a guy on the first date - or even the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, or 6th (unless you want nothing more than a fling, that is). No, wait a couple months and get to know each other......
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Well the thing with talking to guys over the internet is they can say anything they like and you cant see them face to face to see if they are telling the truth, its so easy to type lies.
When you say you both made out, did this involve having sexual intercourse? If so then it was to soon, you should always make a guy wait or else he will just lose respect for you and will just want you as a sex buddy.
You need to ask him what exactly his intentions are and why he doesnt answer the phone to you, make sure that he isnt married or in a relationship, as it sounds like he might be keeping you as a secret as he only wants to contact you when he is on the internet, there is a reason he is not answering his phone you need to try and get to the bottom of it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Oh dear, I think you know the answer here. It was a one night stand. He doesn't want to say it straight out. But from what you say and as he has made no effort to see you in person since, that seems clear. Another time, wait a while to test whether the person is interested in more than a brief fling (even if you have known them online for a while), unless you want to be disappointed again.
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female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Give him sometime.if hes interested, surely he'l call.if he doesnt in few days then its a 'red flag'...
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female
reader, Tine +, writes (9 December 2010):
 there could be a few answers to this, maybe he is genuinely interested i you but is too scared in case it doesnt work out, or another is maybe things didnt go too good for him when you were on the date and he is only saying this to spare your feelings.
Either way i would want to know, how about sending him an email about it? i wouldnt personally go in all guns blazing demanding to know why he hasn't called, i would tell him how you feel about him, how nice your date was to you and then just ask him what does he honestly think? because you don't want to get hurt..
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