A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i just got married a few months back and my husband was very kind to me then. but know we just had our first son and he know 5 months of age. my husband makes me feel real bad. he makes bad remarks about my weight. i gained fifty pounds with the pregnancy. all my husband can say is you look like fat cow and he also says i snore caused ive gained to much weight. iam always watching the child and doing everything on my own i even have to go school full time. i want to lose the weight but he won't even watch the baby for thirty minutes to let get out and excersise. i am about to give up i feel like ive grown up but he has not grown up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Well, first off I have to ask you, do you complain about your weight, or is he the only one doing so? Sometimes, and believe me this going to sound kind of insane, but sometimes if you complain about your wieght, but never do anything about it, men will get tired of hearing it, so in order to encourage you to lose the weight, they will put you down instead of just getting up and going for a walk with you. It deosnt sound to me like thats your situation, but just keep that in mind. I know its ridiculous. Anyways, in my opinion, I think you should stand up to him. He doesn't have the right to complain, when you have carried his child for nine months, then birthed him. Not at all! You need to tell him to stop making rude comments about your weight. If the weight you've gained bothers you, and I mean YOU, only you. Then why can't you budle up the baby, and if you have a stroller take him with you and go on a light ten, fifteen minute jog. Then at home, when you get the chance, perhaps when the baby is sleeping, or sitting contently in his bouncer, you can exercise ( run in place, do jumping jacks, a few crunches, etc.) to music or while watching tv for 15 to 20 min, or for as long as you can before the baby needs something. (even if its only ten minutes) But make sure you are doing it for yourself, and not your husband, if he doesnt stop making rude remarks and treating you like less of a person, then suggest couseling. If you do it for a month or two, and he's still not making any effort, well then you can take things from there. If he loves you he will make an effort and if he doesnt then know he just wasnt the right man for you. I hope this has helped. good luck to you, your husband, and your son. My best wishes go out to you.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (19 December 2009):
 Have you tried talking to your husband or if its to difficult to talk you can write him a letter. Im a guy and and honestly it annoys the crap out of me when a woman whines and complains and acts like my mother. The weight issue is a big issue for alot of guys its like you marry your dream girl and then she becomes Shamu, but you didnt get pregnant buy your self and the jerk should have thought about that before knocking you up, it can be difficult to loose weight mentally and physically even economically and if your depressed its even harder you will need some support from your husband. You can get some work out videos and equipment no need to spend a fourtune just the basics and start a regiment at home i can see going to the gym could be difficult for you. Your husband needs to treat you with respect he shouldnt talk to you any way he wouldnt talk to anyone else i bet he doesnt call the women at his job fat cows because his ass would get slapped with a law suit actually you could sue your husband but before it come to that if the guy is your age hes young and an idiot he has time to improve. what you wrote on here is a good start for your letter, hes your husband you should be able to talk to him about anything or else you married the wrong guy. Writtin g a letter is better then talking to him because he will take it more serious if you talk to him it just starts sounding like blah blah blah its a guy thing plus he cant argue with a letter. Put it somewhere he has to read it on the toilet seat on his dinner someplace where you kno he will see it hell the front door will work and dont stand over his shoulder while he reads it, put something in the letter to make him come to you and aknowledge that he read you could tell him when hes done reading it to come speak with him within a day or so if he doesnt then you kno hes just gonna be a complete jerk to the end. If you have a close family member you should talk to them mom sister BROTHER etc because if he knows other people are aware of how things are going he might think about treating you better. plus if you have to leave this clown you will have some support. happy holidays and god luck
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