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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My brother died couple of weeks ago because he had canner. I even missied a week of school because of it. When I told my best friend say I'm "obsessed" with him and need to forget about him. I was so mad I slapped her across the face1!! Why would she say something like to me, what I did to her?
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (13 August 2008):
 Oh, sorry, I didn't read the part of what she did with your boyfriend. I'm really sorry and I know see what she did to you. I would like to think that she was sincere, but a part of me tells me she wasn't. I'm sorry that your friend came out to be a real bitch. I know that feeling. At least she now knows not to mess with you and hopefully she will leave you alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friend come to me saying shes sorry and hope we can friends again. I didnt accept it. After all this crap she put thorgh she thinks Im forgave in her dreams!
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Well, that's two undesirables out of your life! Things can only get better!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see my bf and exfriend making out at a party (it was my friends she is friends with my ex friend). Why dose she hate me? And I punched him out and dumped him.
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (20 July 2008):
You didn't do anything to her, and if you did actually hurt her feelings somehow, she still crossed way over the line.
But if you she finnally sees her stupidity and she comes and tries to ask for forgiveness and she looks truely sorry, I hope you can see in your heart to forgive her.
A strong man hates, but a wiser one forgives. Just remember those words.
Good luck and I hope your new friends are true.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did slap her again and I dont regart it. What did ever did to her? And we're not friends anymore. Im friends with the popular girl!
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (18 July 2008):
Oh wow I was so wrong about her. I really thought she would come through after she said that to you.
Like the others said, you have to leave this girl. She's not your friend and what she just said is even more terrible. I really hope you slapped her again.
I hope those popular girls do help you cope about this.
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Woah. What a bitch!!
She'll get what's coming to her hun, just concentrate on yourself now, you don't need people like that... I have a lot more to say on the matter but I don't think people would accept the language I would be prepared to use!!
You've got one less asshole out of your life, sweet.
If she ever comes running to you at her lowest point, you know what you have to do.
Take care
xx
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male
reader, oldfool +, writes (15 July 2008):
Oh dear, that's a terrible, terrible thing to say. I can't believe that anyone would say anything so hurtful as that. I'm sorry, this person is not a true friend. You should forget about her. One day she may wake up to what a heartless person she's been and come back and apologise. In the meantime, please keep away from a person who is so completely callous about a friend's feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionher sat down today and told how I felt what she said. she say that I'm a loser and deserve to my brother died
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (13 July 2008):
Well people change with a person if that said person has experienced a loss.
For example, one of my closest friend was diagnosed with cancer. Before this, many people ignored her or just didn't pay attention to her. After she was diagnosed with cancer, many people changed around her and are now nicer and some people me and her never even met have come "visit" her (I put it in quotes because they don't talk to her). This made me mad because I knew they just felt bad for her and pittied her, but I understood where they come from: nobody wishes someone else to be in her state.
Now this may be the same thing for you. They feel bad that you lost your brother and see you suffering. Probably they want to make themselves feel better by helping you and being nice with you. Hopefuly they'll keep this up.
Anyways, you didn't mention what happened with you and your friend and what you did to solve the solutions. Please tell us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA few days ago I was sitting alone at lunch. Some of the popular girls (who never talked to me before my brother pass away)sat with me and were really nice to me!! Whats put with that?
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female
reader, rebecca.megan  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I'm sorry, but in my opinion, that was wayy out of order what she said to you. If she said this in agressive way of any sort, then she's obviously not a "best friend". I do no think violence is a way to deal with things, but in the case i actually think you deserved the right to slap her[and i hope it hurt] ;)In fututure try and calm your' temper as you could end up in serious trouble or in a situation you want to keep as far away as possible from, so just try to keep your' cool, walk away from the situation and make it clear your' mad at them. As hard as it is, and as tempting as it is to hit someone etc, keeping your' cool gets the better outcome, and you look like the beter person. I'm truley sorry for the loss of your' brother, and you have the right to grieve for as long as you want without anyone telling you to get over the situation. Forget about this girl as she sounds like she really isn't worth the effort and concentrate on people who actually do care about you and want to support you.I hope this helped abit, but if not, or you just need to talk to someone, feel free to message me anytime (:x
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male
reader, oldfool +, writes (13 July 2008):
I don't know if you've seen your friend, but it's possible she feels horribly ashamed of what she said.
She may have felt at a loss how to deal with something so deeply affecting as the loss of a brother, and her way of wishing the discomfort away was to try and stop you from mentioning it.
Despite the fact that she said the wrong thing, I'd try and forgive her, in the vein of "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". She didn't know what she was saying and is probably kicking herself now.
And I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. It was not until I was much older that I finally truly understood the grief of losing a close relative.
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I don't blame you for slapping her, i probably would have reacted in the same way.
It was very cruel and selfish to say this, it sounds like she doesn't want you talking about him.
Do you talk about him alot??
Please, ditch this one and find yourself a good friend, one that you can confide in without her being heartless.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 At your age dealing with the loss of a person is very hard but it is equally hard to deal with a friend who has experienced a loss.
She might just not know any better. Lets face it, it was not her brother and it ain't her loss. All she sees is her best friend in pain and she said the wrong thing.
Yes, it does make her sound self-obssesed and careless. She is a teen girl, what do you expect?
Would you do any better if the situation was reversed? This ain't the movies, nobody is holding up cue cards to help us say the right thing.
Have a talk with her and tell her how this made you feel. Give her a chance to learn how this affects you. Perhaps she is just to shallow yet to be able to be supportive but she just might have thought that what she said was the right thing to say. Perhaps she doesn't know that a brother who died is not the same a boyfriend who dumped you.
I would also suggest that if you need support you seek out older people for a heart to heart talk. You need people who are aware of their own mortality not a teen who still thinks they are going to life forever and does NOT want to hear anything else.
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female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (13 July 2008):
What she said was extremely insensitive and heartless - I probably would have reacted in the same way.
I would maybe try to talk to your friend and say something like "I'm sorry for slapping you, but what you said was really insensitive and inappropriate. Someone who was dear to me died and I don't understand why you think saying something like that wouldn't affect me. I'm sorry but whether you like it or not, I will never forget my brother. And that isn't a crime. So like I said, I am sorry for slapping you but you need to realise that you just can't say things like that to the grieving." I think she needs to be told, however the slap may have told her that in one action! And she may apologise before you go to speak to her.
She may have just blurted it out without thinking
But if she doesn't come to you first to apologise, and if she doesn't seem sorry for what she said after you've spoken to her, I'd suggest leaving her to her own devices because you can't accept people who say this kind of thing without feeling very guilty back in to your life.
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother and I hope that you and your family will find some sort of comfort soon.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, vanillafrost +, writes (13 July 2008):
 maybe she doesn't realize how much this hurts you and is extremely insensitive. Pls find another friend. Forget about her. take care! I hope u will find happiness in your life. As ur brother will be happy for you too in heaven!
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A
female
reader, dangerouslove. +, writes (13 July 2008):
 Your obessed with him, and you need to forget about him?
Well I know another person you need to forget about, and it's her! I'm so sorry for your loss honey! This is such a terrible thing. I would of slapped her across the face too, ( not saying this was the RIGHT thing to do though )
Honestly, I have no idea, why she would say and do such a horrible thing! She is suppose to be your best friend, and be the one to care for you and help you through hard times like these. I think she could be going through something of her own, and she's taking it out on you and the death of your brother. If so, this is no excuse for what she has said.
If I were you, I would never be forgivable of what she said to you. You came to her for love, care and affection.
She is very cold hearted.. You'll meet people like this,
as for now.. Forget about her and just take sometime to yourself.
All my sympathy goes out to you.
Message me if you ever want to talk!
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (13 July 2008):
I know some people really can't deal with the whole death situation but what she did was extremely innapropiate. I understand your reaction completely (although I don't resource to physical action, but this is just over the line).
What you should is talk to your friend of her reasons to do this. Try to have a calm conversation about this, or at least you try to stay calm. If you can't control your feelings when you talk to her (which is something that I assume) try to count to ten. You have to present yourself here as the bigger person and the person who's offended and if you make a BIG drama about it she's just going to think of you immature.
Try to talk to her in person again, but control yourself for this. Tell her how she made you feel when she commented this and if she's the best friend you say she is, she will eventually understand. In fact, I hope she will make a call soon to say she's sorry.
Good luck and I'm sorry for the death of your brother. I hope the best for you and your family.
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