A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Some people fall in love quickly, but other people take a bit more time before they develop those kind of feelings for someone. If I met a nice lady and I didn't love her for a few months, but I respected and valued her, is that a sign of selfishness?Does it make you selfish if you have trouble loving someone?I think the word "love" should not be used lightly. Does that make sense? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Yes, that makes sense. We live in a culture where people feel pressure to be physically intimate very quickly. Taking the time to get to know someone and respect the person as you say will lead, I think, to a better relationship down the road.
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Selfishness??? Noo way!! Why can't all men be like this?? If anything the lucky woman should be very pleased to have met somebody like you.
There are too many men today who just use women, rush them into bed and then disappear just as the woman is developing feelings. You my friend are a rare breed!! And you should be proud of the way you think 'love' shouldnt be used lightly!!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Selfish? Not at all! I think you're being very sensible to take things slowly and want to get to know someone gradually. It is a process that DOES take time.
Relationships do have their "bumps in the road" sometimes and that's to be expected, but hopefully they are for the most part, fun, pleasant and enjoyable, able to talk to each other freely and openly without being unduly argumentative or overwhelming......
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A
female
reader, auntieloulou  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 You definately make sense. Love is not instant, you have to get to know someone fully before you can say 'I am in love with that person.' It's not a sign of selfishness, i think it's a sign of maturity and realism. From the sounds of it, I don't think you have trouble loving someone. Let nature take course and go with the flow of the relationships. Relationships are no fun and strain easy if there is too much pressure and expectation on it, so take as much time as you want.
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