A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out (aka - Not yet in a relationship), with this guy for a couple of months.He's really sweet and seems like good boyfriend material but he seems so boring! At first I was overjoyed with how much of a gentleman he is, and didn't mind his calm, quiet, reserved ways but now I'm getting bored with his personality.We never have anything to really talk about. Tomorrow we are going out and for me this is it.... if I still feel the same after this date tomorrow, I'm moving on.Help me with some tips to keep the conversation flowing? I want to give it my best shot on my end, and know that if I do walk away, I at least tried my best. I'm not even sure why we never have anything to talk about... he's so quiet and I guess maybe it intimadates me in a way because I don't know what he's thinking in there.I want to take charge of the conversation somehow, but I don't know where to start, I'm used to dating guys who never shut up! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): Oh wow, my last boyfriend was just like that. He wanted to call me every single night, then he would just sit on the other end of the line and say nothing. Sometimes, after a few minutes of this, I would say why don't we get off the phone, it doesn't seem like we have anything to talk about tonight. But no, he wanted to "talk" to me, which in his world meant breathing I guess. It drove me crazy!! He was a little better in person, but still very often when we were together I was searching in my mind for something to say, and felt awkward silences with him. Needless to say we're no longer together, and I have to admit it's such a relief not to have to suffer through the nightly phone calls anymore!
I would love to help you with some conversation tips, but I couldn't even help myself. I do think that when you're with a significant other, words should just flow more effortlessly than this. You should have enough things in common - interests, desires, morals and values, the same general outlook on life - that you can engage in lively conversation. So if you're having a hard time talking with this guy, it may just be time to move on to someone more compatible.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (21 March 2009):
 To add to Star's suggestion: when you play the "guess what people are saying" add the element of "word play" in the game. Or make it fun by imitating accent (and word play .. you know, the kind of mistakes people say when speaking with a different accent). Make it funny. If he has a good sense of humour hidden somewhere, it will surface. You will be laughing so much your face will hurt!
Have fund! I mean, have fun! (pun intended too)
Cat
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A
male
reader, calabarguy  +, writes (21 March 2009):
 The best option to start talking with someone is when you both are with other people that you both can talk to freely, like classmates. And then you may pick on him. With that, he'll be forced to reply. Believe me, your date will be great, he'll tell you all the fascinations he has about you during those conversations.
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (21 March 2009):
 Dying to know what happened in the end?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Find out what he's interested in even if it's something that you don't like i.e. sport. If he's really as great as you be able to even get him interested into something that you you like.
Even if it's something as small as being able to watch the same tv show together it should help your relationship get along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): This is often a problem with first dating someone. You may or may not have enough in common to have a real relationship. That is really what the "dating game" is all about,...to find out if you do or don't. But, it takes two to communicate. It should not be all on one to carry the conversations. You may not be accustomed to doing half the talking, but, maybe it is worth it to try. He may actually be thinking the same about you...(smile).."She is really nice but... she is so 'quiet'!" (lol)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): get him to play guess what people are talking about at the other tables, his hobbies, where he wants to travel to, what he wants to do.
tell him to talk more... you have a sore throat....
Star.x.
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