A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need lots of advice. I am married with 3 kids. I have always thought about my ex. He is also married with kids. I have dreamed about him and how we will get together again. But the other day during marriage therapy I figured out that my dream will not be reality. I love him so much it hurts, can't sleep, can't eat. Our love was so strong that I can't imagine him forgetting about our love. the other day I passed by his house, and 2 hours later he passed by mine. We are out of the way of each other. I have been married for 13 years. Emotional abuse. I thought that it was because i couldn't give myself fully but even when it was good (only when I had the children). But even if it was a decent day and we got along there was always a fight. No peace. Here is my question. I am trying to find out where her works and wait for him outside so I could talk to him. I don't know what I should tell him or how to start up the conversation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Original poster:
My ex and I broke up, I was young and cheated on him. I thought he did not love me no more. He would call me up and talk about who he was dating. Then he showed up at my house a month before I got married when he found out that I was getting married, and I was confused. Very unresolved for me. So I continued to get married and think about him for the past years. It never got in the way of my current marriage except for after we started counseling.
My marriage is very rocky, we fought all the time. He is controlling and a very angry person all the time. The anger is from before me, just in case you were wondering. thought it was going to get better...then it didn't. Just got worse. Last ultimatum was marriage counseling. So finally he started going. Through the counseling, along with the therapist I realized that my ex was only calling to pursuit me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): I have the same questions as Star! If you are in counseling with your current husband, why are you playing games with your married ex? I see a lot of heartache and pain for all involved in the future. You are playing fantasy games with peoples lives! And...if your love for one another was soooo strong, why is he your ex???
It is common to have dreams about ex's especially if there are unresolved feelings.
I suggest individual counseling for you right now. You can't fix your marriage, when you have a hidden agenda going on.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): hmmm so you really don't want to be together. i would guess if you are that strong for the ex.
why are you counselling? you want the fantasy ex. ?
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): This is the original poster.
Yes, I am still married. We are doing marriage counseling at this time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): I am little confused - are you still married?
Anyway if you aren't - the ex thing - he is a figure of fantasy that you have put on a pedestal to get you through,the reality will be different.
why not go to his house and talk to him - jsut say hi was passing. and thought i would see how you are....
star.x.
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