A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey so I've got a difficult situation to deal with. I really like a guy, and he really wants to have sex. I'm a virgin, but he thinks I'm not. I think I'm comfortable with vaginal sex, but he has somewhat of an obsession with getting head. I've obviously never done this, and I'm really worried. I don't know how soon the situation will arise but I want to do well for his sake. He's already received oral sex, many times from what I understand, and I'm worried that I won't measure up. I'm also worried about what I will do when he cums. He loves it when women swallow, but I have texture problems and a very sensitive gag reflex. I don't know if I will be capable of soon this. I am very unsure about the whole situation and just want advice. Thanks
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Oh sweetness,
I wish I could fast forward the universe and bring back 24 year old you to give present day you some advice. I know that down the line this will not be a fond memory and you will end up regretting losing your virginity to this guy.
I've always thought that you should listen to your gut, because your gut is usually right. Your brain overthinks, your heart softens and makes silly, stupid decisions, and then let's not even begin to discuss what an idiot your ladybits are. Never let them make your decisions, they are never thinking straight. But your gut? Your gut usually knows what's up. And it sounds like your gut is feeling really unsure and uneasy about this whole situation and like sleeping with him might not be the right choice.
I want for you to have your first time be a wonderful memory that you look back on without regret and with a smile on your face. It sounds like this guy just wants sex, and you just want him to like you so you're going to do it so he will. That's not a good memory. And trust me, it won't end up like a fairytale. He will have his fun with you and move on to the next young lady with an eager mouth and willing body.
With the right guy, you won't have this need to "measure up" to the competition. It will feel comfortable, secure and loving and you'll just have fun with getting to know each other physically. You'll get to laugh at mistakes and you'll get to really embrace the fact that you're new at everything and just getting to do it for the first time. Why would you want to have to fake it and pretend to be someone you're not for your first time?
Love yourself, prioritize yourself and know that you're better than this. You deserve security, love and comfort. You won't get it this young and this anxious about impressing some guy, who evidently needs to be wooed by your sex skills - he should adore you for YOU and not just because he really wants to have sex. You should not feel this pressure to impress him! That should be a big red flag. (And honestly, the right guy will spend all this time worrying about impressing you and not sending you running for the hills!)
Listen to your gut and know that this will not be the last opportunity you have to have sex. You will have PLENTY - I swear it - PLENTY more guys who are dying to be your first and be that special guy/relationship that you remember forever. And you've got all the time in the world to wait for the timing to be right. Don't let yourself be another notch on his belt.
Good luck, sweetness. Take care of yourself!
A
female
reader, Jay_xxxxx  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 I lost my virginity at the age of 13 and although I am still with the guy after two years, I deeply regret my decision. He was going on holiday and I was worried that he'd find someone else so I decided that I should, although I was not ready. I also knew that he loved me and that he wasn't going to force me as he had sex a year before he met me (he was also 13 and he's told me he regrets loosing it to some girl he didn't love) Don't do something you are not ready for and giving head is not really a good way around it as it can be very degrading. And you shouldn't lie just so that a guy would like you, otherwise you could end up with a relationship based on lies.I think you should wait till your with someone that you love and that you also know that really loves you as your first time is a very special and unforgettable time and you don't want to remember it as something horrible I know that is not what you would like to hear but from personal experience this is the advise I'd give anyone in this situation I hope I helped a little Jay x x x
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A
female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 Huh??? Don't rush things out you are still very young...
I have 7 yrs relationship but I never wanted to give my guy a head. At first I was thinking if I did that I will lose respect from him and my self respect.
Initially thats what I thought but I wanted to please him so I agreed on doing that,
First time I didn't know what to do so he was guiding me and I felt very embarrassed but upon seeing his reaction and the pleasure I'm giving him I said that wasn't bad enough.
But until now I usually don't do it often and if he begs for it then I do it...
Just wait for the right time when you are ready and sure.
Good Luck...
'
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 You should never lie to someone and tell them you are not a virgin if you are. Honey your first time is meant to be very special, you need to tell him that you are a virgin. He won't think any less of you because of it. Also is it just sex he want's and are you able to handle that knowing that he might not want anything more but that. As I said your first time is meant to be special and the best way to ensure that is if you are in a loving relationship and the guy is gentle and show's you that he cares. He won't be gentle as he doesn't know you are still a virgin and the first time can be painful therefore he will know that something is up with you so just be truthful with him.
Same goes for the oral sex. If you are wanting to do this well then I can't talk you out of this. But just tell him you have never done it before and ask him what he likes. Also there is a risk of catching STI's from oral sex and he has been with other people therefore you should ask him to wear a condom so that you are safe and not catching anything nasty.
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