A
male
age
30-35,
*reeze_Dry_Seal
writes:Hi there. Im a 17year old virgin. Well... ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. I love her so much but i wanna feel so much more. And we were discussing sex. And she says shes going to wait til she gets married. I heard sex takes your commitment/love to a higher level.. I want to feel that. I want to lose my virginity to the right person and i feel she is.Please help? What should i do? So confused!!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Hey man, I know how you feel, But the best hing to do is wait. Sex does bring couples closer together, but you really should wait untill you know you wanna be with that girl forever. I lost my virginity at 18, to a girl I thought I loved, and sex just made things more difficult, about 2 months after we broke up, and havent talk to each other since, and now im 20. just believe me, man just wait, and when you know you want to be with her for the rest of your life, go for it, tell her how you really feel. Best of luck to ya.
A
male
reader, kingth1990  +, writes (18 June 2009):
first off you lame for even being a virgin at 17...i lost mine when i was 12 and its been wall up hill from there...but i mean you cant rush her but if she aint giving it up then go to someone who will...Get Ya Mind Right...$G.M.B. 4Life$
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): You are 17. You've only been with her for 5 months. It feels like a long time but it's not really and if you really honestly love her you will wait. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin, my boyfriend and I have talked about it and my ridiculous shyness and he said he isn't going to rush me at all and I can take my time. He's 19 and sometimes I worry that he'll get fed up and leave me even though he denies that he ever would. The fact that hes so understanding and patient makes me feel more comfortable with the thought of losing it to him. If you don't pressure her she will feel that u understand and respect her and maybe in time she might change her mind. But she definately won't change her mind if you pressure her and even if she does she may resent u for pushing her into losing something she clearly values. Just be patient. There are other ways to have fun ;)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): I am a 17 year old virgin too. Although I've only been seeing my boyfriend for a short time, part of me wants to lose my virginity SOON because I feel peer pressure and I want the experience. But because I'm confused it's a huge relief that we've already talked about it and he said he'll never rush me into anything. It makes me feel in control of when i want to make my decision and it makes me feel more comfortable that when/if I do decide to have sex with him it will be my decision. I think if you give your girlfriend that control she will love you even more and when shes ready she will have sex with you. You've only been together for 5 months and you're only 17. If you really love her you could be together for a long time and she might change her mind about the marriage thing. If you do stay together for a long time then whats the problem with waiting? If you really love her you will wait. If you pressure her she will feel you don't understand her. In the mean time you don't actually need penetration to have fun ;)
hope this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, Straight Up +, writes (6 July 2007):
 sex is not the only intimate sexual thing that could bring you and your g/f closer. don't rush her or you'll only push her away from you do you really want her thinking you only want her for sex. you need to respect where she is coming from. i know it's hard as we all have hormones which can be uncontrolable but you need to try and controll them. there not much girl who are pure like that so as rk06 said you have an incredible girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 July 2007):
 If u wanna lose it to this girl.. u wait.. she isnt ready at the moment and you RESPECT that decision.. bbe honestly if she isnt ready do not force her.. and you shouldnt try and change her mind because if u do then she may regret it.. hope i helped..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): If she doesn't want to have sex then you must respect that and not pressure her into anything she's uncomfortable with doing.
You're obviously with someone who knows what they want and is strong minded enough to make serious life choices like waiting until marriage so you should proud of her and grateful that you've got such an amazing woman.
Sex does not take your love to a higher level, trust and an emotional bond does. And if you continue push the subject of sex after she's told you her opinions then her trust in you will disappear.
...............................
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (6 July 2007):
I don't think you want to "take it to a higher level", you just want to have sex, and are too embarassed to admit it because it sounds selfish. This waiting is important to her, and you must respect her wishes. If you pressure her into what she doesn't want to do, what will that do to the trust between you? If you can't wait, then leave her to find someone who will wait - without putting a guilt trip on her like "It's your fault for not putting out".
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): Yeah, sex won't take your love to a higher level... it's just like a mark you'll leave on the girl that says "I own her and we WILL get married"...
You wouldn't know, there might be problems ahead of you. Avoid rushing things. It's good to wait.
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (6 July 2007):
 If I were talking to a female friend of yours who you really cared for, and she said, "I love my boyfriend but he's pressuring me for sex; I really want to wait because it's important to me," what would you tell her?
I would tell her that if he loves you, he'll wait for you. Otherwise he's only in it for the sex. If he keeps pressuring you, dump him. Your body, your rules.
Knowing this, I think you should respect her or you'll lose her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): Sex doesn't take you to a higher level of love. It's an excuse. What takes you to a higher level of love is a combination of factors. Sex is but one factor.
A relationship takes time to build trust through friendship and understanding. Love comes gradually as your emotions are being fulfilled through a range of experiences.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 rk06 has the words of wisdom.
...............................
A
male
reader, weldman +, writes (6 July 2007):
just wait. if you let her run that part of the relationship it will come. your only 17. believe me im 19 and i tried to force a little on my last girlfriend that i loved to death and we are no longer together now. and when you get older you realize sex is not everything in a relationship. trust is. if she can trust u with her love, safety, and she TRUSTS you sex will come.
...............................
A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (6 July 2007):
 Hey bud... try not to rush things, k? You did a very good job landing this girl. She is respectable, those girls are rare. Just go with it, I know its tough... but know that you have an incredible girl.God Bless
...............................
|
