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*oomed_in_mb
writes: I have a major dilemma... Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 4 years, and we have a 15 month old son together....last July i broke up with him because things weren't working out. I moved with my son to a town 1/2 hour away. I was fine but he wanted me back. Now i found out he was thinking of going on a date with a girl he knows i'm not too fond of (stated softly) and i started getting jealous. He told me he made sure there was nothing going on between them because he didn't want to ruin our friendship and i respect that even though it's really none of my business what or who he dates. Now we are getting along so great and i think i want him back but he doesn't seem to feel that way anymore. I have never straight out confronted him and asked him about it, but we are still having sex all the time so i don't know what's happening...I'm really getting mixed messages...what do you think i should do and what do you think is going on with him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2006): The guy you broke up with is having the best of both worlds like what all us guys always try to do. All females please note - A GUY HAVING SEX WITH A FEMALE does not mean he loves her!Guys never give mixed signals - he does not want any committment with you he just is enjoying the great and easy sex thats all. If he wanted you back he would get you back full stop!
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (3 February 2006):
 You are feeling confused because he is giving you mixed signals. He has all the power and control, because you are giving it to him by allowing him to behave so poorly and neglect you. He is playing you, keeping you on the side, and who knows who else he has in the picture. I am certain he will stay around as long as you fulfill his selfish needs.
You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You deserve to be happy, keep telling yourself that, and do something to change it.
You are not able to talk to him because he doesnt want to. He is getting what he wants, so no wonder things are really great between you. I bet you feel like you have no voice, and you are more sad and miserable than anything. You feel afraid to tell him what you want and need. But that is exactly what you need to do in order to be happy.
Sit down and write a list of things you want from a relationship. Then talk to him about it, and see if he is able to meet those needs. If he cannot, then you know he never will. Why settle for less? If you dont walk away now, you will never feel entirely happy, because your needs are not being met.
I know that you have a son together, so of course you will still need to see him for visitation. I just dont think he is going to give you what you want. He sounds too self centered.
This is where you need to believe in yourself and realize how much happier you will be without him. Once you put your foot down , and stick to your list, you will see how quickly he disappears. Standing up to him will give you an inner strength you never knew existed in you. And you will see him for the weak little weasel that he is. I wasted too many years in a dead end relationship and I lost 2 good men because of it. Dont allow that to happen to you
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A
male
reader, mister-squid +, writes (2 February 2006):
 Well.. If he doesn't want you back, but is still sleeping with you, then he's using you. Stop sleeping with him and the confusion will probably stop.
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A
female
reader, lori +, writes (2 February 2006):
when you have been in a long term relationship qnd split up its hard to let go of our feelings we humans are cretures of habit and we always return to what we know best your ex knows he doesnt have to impress you so its easy for him to come to you for sex its not that he is useing you its just he knows what is expected of him you must put a stop to it because you can not form a solid relationship with another guy untill you have completly cut all sexual ties with your ex confront him about this ask him if he wants to get back with you if he says no or hes unsure then stop the sex and tell him you cant wait for him its like hes saying "your ok for now untill someone else comes along" your better than that and deep down you know it so stop his game now and find someone who wants you for everything not just sex
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