A
male
age
30-35,
*enKuijper
writes:Hi,I am 21 years old guy, just came out yesterday to my mother that I am bisexual and she didn`t over reacted but the thing is, she did not convinced that I am actually capable to love also guys and enjoy sexual intercourse. She thinks that this is a phase that will pass soon, if I have a serious relationship with a girl. I am in love with a boy right now, actually it is a crush, but it may become a relationship. I don`t know she understood me. She is not in a complete denial; she says that, that kind of things (bisexuality) could happen to people or there are people who are actual bisexual from birth, but yours is psychological phase that will pass if you have a serious relationship with a girl and you should ignore those feelings towards men. My problem is, I want this relationship with that guy and I want that my mother could accept it. I don`t know what to do, should I go further on her or let the things go or should I force myself as my mother told me, to forget those feelings towards men.I need your urgent advices and thank you very much in advance for your precious answers.
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (19 August 2011):
 Well... you can't FORCE her to do anything that she's not already inclined to do.
I think if you can get into a relationship with a guy and essentially prove to her that that is what makes you happy... then she might be a little more accepting than you think that she already is.
As everyone else has stated... just give it time.
A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 You are 21 years old...an adult. Carry on with your life..date whomever you want. But...do not push this issue on your Mother. She loves you very much and it sounds like she has 'accepted' your bisexuality. However, she still has hopes that this is a phase, because she understands that you must experience life, date people and eventually make the best selection for your life, when choosng a life partner. That will take time and she knows that. All she will want is for you to experience true happiness. That is the way of Mothers...it's called unconditional love.
So here you are...you are infatuated. You want a relationship with another guy and you want Mom to accept it. Her acceptance is not necessary at this stage of the game. Because, when you are newly dating a person, you do not bring them home to meet Mom, right away. Take your time and just conduct yourself well and focus on building something with this other person. That process can take months. Again, you are 21..just keep growing and keep maturing. And realize, as an adult..you do not need 'approval' from others in how you conduct your love life.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (18 August 2011):
your mum is probably feeling a bit shocked which is understandable but its not a big deal just give her time she will come round eventually until then i would try and explain it to her good luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Just let things unfold naturally and don't do anything just because you want to prove that your mother is wrong- or right.
You have to live your life, not your mother's life, so ultimately that she'd be accepting of your choices would be desirable but not necessary.
Her reaction is normal for a parent, she is taken aback, surprised and a bit in denial. Then again, she has a point, there are lots of people that go through exploration phases and are temporary attracted to their own sex. You might find out that you are really attracted to both sexes- or that it was in fact just a phase. Early to know for sure- only time will tell.
Don't worry, I think your mother eventually will accept you whomever you choose to love and be with. She may grumble, she may be concerned about you having problems in society, she may think of the grandkids she risks NOT having... but hey she is your mom, she'll stick by you , gay, bi or straight.
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