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age
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writes: A couple of years ago, I met this lovely woman from another country at a conference for a shared interest (in yet another country). We got on really well, and afterwards be-friended one another on Facebook, and stayed in touch irregularly, but with quite long letters (discovering quite soon that what we had to say was too long for FB messaging, so moved to email).The following year I signed up for a conference that I knew she was going to be at, and again we spent a bit of time together. I engineered an invitation for her to come and address a conference in my country, and earlier this year, she came. By this time, we were both game for sleeping together, but we both agreed that this would be a bad idea, as we are both in o.k. marriages, and both of us had had experiences where our respective infidelity had threatened those marriages. And we were starting to have feelings for one another.Then the two of us went to another convention abroad this summer. We managed yet again not to misbehave the whole week, although things are becoming inappropriately touchy-feely, and we have become _really_ close emotionally (while desperately avoiding the L word), and since then we've both missed one another like hell.My question is this: can we ride this tiger? We don't want to break up our marriages, neither of us wants to move countries, but we want to keep seeing one another, a couple of times a year if that's all we can manage. Provided we don't tell each other that we love them, and we stay out of bed, can we keep seeing one another like this? Or will we inevitably change our minds about boundaries? Is not seeing one another again the _only_ solution?
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 You are old enough to understand...
"DO not play with fire, and you will not get burned"
You already both toyed with the idea of a possible affair. You admit you both acted innappropriate.
If your spouse was right next to your side at these meetings, would SHE be comfortable with what she saw and heard? Let that be your guide. If you would not do it in front of her-do without.
Avoid temptation. You already know the answer to this.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (18 August 2011):
yes i think you probably could still see each other as long as theres no sex or anything involved and if none of your partners found out then there is no problem there but if it becoming to much for you both as you both like each other it may be easier to cut off any contact with each other
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