A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has a high sex drive, compared to other girls I have been with at least. She likes sex. Plain and simple.She told me that she had a one night stand with a "larger guy" one night when we were well, fooling around. She said it hurt, but it was also the first time she had "good sex." She has only had 3 other sexual encounters, including an ex-boyfriend who wasn't very good (just like the other two). We were both tipsy, but not tipsy enough for me to forget unfortunately. She was so upset (crying, hysterically) that she made me upset and continually said "size doesn't matter," but I could never really believe her. I tried though.When she spoke about about the large guy, albeit briefly, she had a glimmer in her eye and I cannot get it out of my head. I'm not small, for what it's worth I'm 18cm (7 inches) and I'm sorry: I don't mean to be another idiot online giving their penis size, but it may help you see where I'm coming from. I feel around avg. -- not small, just around avg.While on some level I've accepted my size, I now feel the insecurity morphing. I imagine, when I fantasies about her, having the same "tool" as that guy had and I picture the pleasure on her face... contrasting that with my own perception of how my real "tool" makes her feel (i.e., no where near as good). I know he must have shown her moves I cannot do, because she tried them on me, clearly hoping they would work (and they require length I simply do not have).She can finish through sex, actual intercourse. I have never had sex with her (again, actual intercourse) without her finishing and she has complemented my "member" and my own "skill", but at this stage, it all just feels like her overcompensating for something she can never take back. I feel I satisfy her, and perhaps a bit more, but not drive her "wild."We're in a long distance relationship for the summer until college stars again (3 months) -- I may get the chance to see her for a weekend or so, perhaps not. I have never been insecure about my penis size before her -- heck, I had never even measured it before all of this. Being with someone else would free me from this feeling (of this I am sure, assuming the same thing doesn't happen again)..which kills me because I love my current girlfriend, so, so, so much. It's childish, but I have no control over it. I have tried and tried. I feel as if I will never been as good, and while of course I'm good at oral (that only requires practice), knowing I'll never make her feel, on a purely animalistic level, the way another guy can has really cut very deep. Making her feel the best emotionally just doesn't seem to be enough to sooth my penis worries.
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insecure, long distance, my penis, one night stand, penis size, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 First of all you are ABOVE average in penis size. 6 inches is AVERAGE. But what you should TRY and focus on is not the size of her one night stand's cock, or the fact that it was the FIRST time she had good sex, but that YOU are WITH her, YOU can do better then good sex. YOU can give her great sex.
I'm willing to bet that 8 or of 10 women who have had sex with a "well endowered" man had lousy sex. Specially if the guy thinks all he need is size. He'd be wrong. The penis itself is NOT the magic.. (sorry) the guy attached to said penis and his willingness and skills - now THAT is the magic.
VERY few women orgasms from penetration. So it's pretty obvious that the size means less then the skills. Find out what gets her off. Experiment, have fun in the bed. ENJOY what you are doing.
Your GF shouldn't have mentioned the guys size. It was tacky. She was drunk so I'll let that one go. Reading your story though, I think that "glimmer" in her eye had LESS to do with his size, then with the fact that she got to experience GOOD sex. Another thing.. If she was drunk when he hooked up with that guy, she might be a little off in just how "big" he was.
As for not having driven her wild.. well, get over it. Not every woman is able to let themselves go to that extend, no matter your skills. That is an ability some women get with age.
And PS. if that guy had been the "lay of her life" don't you think she would be out there looking for him? and not date you?
This, is on you. YOU need to let it go.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): I actually got started on DC because of my penis size insecurity. Like you, i never even measured my penis before, until i found out my gf had sex with a guy who was 2-3 inches bigger than me and liked it. Even though she always complemented my cock and especially the girth (which, thank God is above average), and even though she said I was the only guy to make her orgasm, i still couldnt get the images out of my head of her getting fully penetrated by this bigger guy. Didnt help that he was also a former olympic medalist and successful. Took a long time, but probably the things that helped me most here was to focus on the fact that I do have a good sized penis, like you, and she would not be with me if the sex wasnt great. I now consider it a good thing that she has experienced larger, since I know she wont have that curiosity that many women have until they bang a guy with a huge penis and find out it aint all that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): The issue here is you. Not her.
Did you ever think she doesn't WANT the same type of sex from you as she had from this random dude she fucked ONE time?
You never even met him. You don't know the impact he had on her, if any at all... apart from her gleaning a few move of the guy.
She isn't dating him. She's dating you. If she wanted him, she would be with him.
Cut these thought patterns off now. If you let them stick around and simmer, they will only get worse and drive the poor girl away.
Just think of it this way... what matter it penis size? Women are perfectly capable of getting off whether there is penetration or not. Elsewise Lesbians wouldn't exist.
One way or another, no two dicks are alike just at no two people are. What she like in one, she may not like in another and similarly you might do things for her that this faceless douchebag from her past, and your nightmares, did not or could not.
Don't compare. There will always be people you feel you come up short against, and the same is said for those people too.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): I cant believe how in-mature and selfish your being. What else in her life are you not going to like, did you feel good about making her feel bad. I am sure there are things in yor life that might disturb her, does that concern you or is just all about you. I hate to fill you in but if you think a big cock is needed to be good at sex it shows how little you know. I can talk, I have a 8 1/4 inches with lots of girth, big enough her fingers don't touch with her hand rapped around it. "Do I have you attention", are you listening. I learned real quick what makes a women impressed with a man during sex..Are you ready, make it about them, get them off first, show them you care about them . I could go on,but you need to figure some of this out you self.. If you do your part you might drain the life out of her, now if that dosen't make a guy fell good. If she is so spent, back off for another day. She will make it up,and it will be worth the wait, go by her time frame.I enjoy giving oral sex more any way, what a turn on when their ass is wiggling all over the bed and they are holding on to your head for for dear life. What I get is far more than I could ever ask for. O yea one more thing about having a big cock, It would be great if once I could feel a woman slide her lips down the whole length of my eight inches. And no deep throating is not the answer, watch a porn those lips spread apart as they engulf a cock. So your not getting lip action that way. Besides they sure dont look like their enjoying that thing being rammed down their throat.... Well I said what needed to be said. The only last remark is its evident you don't love her or you wouldnt be so selfish about just your ego.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): It was her FIRST good sexual encounter. Since the other guys she was with weren't great, that means she has had MORE good sexual encounters WITH YOU!!! That is a compliment to both your member and your skill in the bedroom especially during 'actual intercourse.'
Please don't be so shallow as to end the relationship because you feel small.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 hey pal. alrite man first off do not talk about past sex anything after feelings are established this will cause retroactive jealousy. I wont lie to you and lower my rating board I dont care, however, one reason why I left the western hemisphere was because I thought most women preferred larger men. Your GF did a bad thing for bringing it up and you could have stopped her in the process however live and learn. Sex is a big part to a relationship and if this affects it and you cant get over it then yeah move on but be sure to resolve the issue unlike I did so that you dont think the next woman thinks youre small and not pleasurable. Good luck and stay away from the booze too man.
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A
female
reader, curious1987  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 to put it simply. thetr is ALWAYS going to be someone that is bigger then u (unless perhaps they a virgin or huge) ur gf shouldnt have said she had a guy that was bigger, but u bith were drinking and she made a mistake telling u. alsocu shuld beleve her when she says size doesnt matter. if she didnt wana be with u then she wouldnt be. so trust her and try and move on. hope i could help. xx
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