A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started messing around with my best friend's little sister, and now she is pregnant. I have been friends with the guy since elementary school and I have a girlfriend who is always in college. I LOVE my g/f and planned on asking her to marry me on her graduation day. I was really only using my friend's sister for sex. Now what??? She is only 17 and still in high school, I'm 24. I know that my buddy and his parents will hate me if she tells them about this. How do I suggest an abortion without sounding like a jerk. And would she need parental consent to have an abortion?
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female
reader, LovePrevails  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Okaay. I am usually nice to people. But this. This is sick.I am just as young as the girl you used, and i have tried my whole life to aviod D*** Heads like you my whole life. I cant be as nice as other people. You think its okay to use people for sex? thats not okay! You used her, got her pregnant and yet your still moaning about the one person you only actually love, your god damn self. Grow up. Be a man. Cos really, its not all about you. You need to be there for her. And put your punnie dick away. I cant believe you could do that to her. Evil.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): That is rude to use someone for sex, first off! And why would you kill someone so innocent because of your stupidness!
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A
male
reader, Main Man +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Why don't you stand by this young lady after all she is having your baby. You should talk to her parents about has happened they might respect for admitting what you have done & that you will stand by her & support the baby. Maybe either her parents or your parents might let the 2 of you stay with them until you can a place of your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): You've done enough bad things, don't force her into terminating a child, she'll have to tell her parents and you'll have to deal with the consequences.
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A
male
reader, Main Man +, writes (6 May 2009):
I am not sure what the of consent is in Canada. But you shouldn't have taken advanage of this young lady. It is best that you come clean & admit that you are the father of the baby his sister having. If he wants to give a good hiding that is up to him. You should tell the rest of her family that you intend to stand by her & support her & your child. This will also teach you to use a condom if you intend to fool around in the futher.
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A
male
reader, CrazyMind +, writes (14 April 2009):
 This response shall focus on the pregnant girl...First things first, is talk to the 17yo that you got pregnant about what SHE wants to do.If you're stupid enough to have unprotected sex, then you have to live with the consequences of that. Also, if you really love you girlfriend so much that you want to marry her, then using another girl for sex while your girlfriend is away ISN'T something that you should be doing.If the girl decides that she wants to keep the child, then I hope you're man enough to go with her decision, and be a proper father, don't even think about abandoning her, you should raise the child properly, and give as much support as possible, both emotionally and financially.Don't be fooled into thinking that abortion is the easy solution. For you, it may seem a quick fix, but the effect on the woman, whose unborn child is aborted, can have consequences that she'll never be able to forget, and that could possibly haunt her for the rest of her life.In future, be faithful; and always use protection.Do what the girl wants to do, and don't pressure her into making YOUR choice. Be supportive, and take responsibility for your actions. She's got something over you now; and if she wants you near, I believe that you should be, lovingly.- Crazy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I suggest you man up and take responsibility for your actions. The fact that you have posted on here asking for advice on getting away with this without anyone finding out indicates that you aren't really remorseful about what you have done, only interested in how not to get caught. Time to think about someone other than yourself and support the mother of YOUR unborn child in whatever decision SHE makes of her own free will. You may lose your girlfriend, but if you really loved her you wouldn't have gotten another girl pregnant behind her back. I can practically guarantee that whatever guilt you feel over what you've done will be nothing compared to the pain your girlfriend experiences when she realizes you betrayed her. But she still has the right to know, and you have the duty to tell her. Get going!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): you know that should hate you. I can't believe you have the nerve to even mention marriage to your girlfriend and you take advantage of your best friends little sister. you are very lucky he or his father don't put your lights out. and abortion why you mess her life up and now you want to distroy a innocent childs life because you are a jerk. honestly jerk is not the right word for you. your girlfriend don't deserve you. shes away at college trying to better herself and the love of her life taking advantage and getting pregnant a child, let alone trying to get her to have an abortion. he having an abortion will not help you out of this. it will follow you along time.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 I'm sorry, but you were a jerk to use someone for sex. So, "sounding as a jerk" is the least of your problems.
My simple answer would be something like, in the line of Sean Connery, "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime". That is to say, you had the sex, now be a happy father. But the girl's opinion is important, too. If she doesn't want to have an abortion, then she won't, and I'm afraid you won't do what you should.
There are more people involved in this. For starters, I think I wouldn't be your friend anymore. And, if I were a woman and your girlfriend, I'm afraid I would find someone else.
People can learn from the wrong they do, so they won't do it again. Do that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): You've been pretty much in the wrong up till now, right? Using a 17 year old girl for sex, getting her pregnant and cheating on your girlfriend are some things I'm sure you're not proud of.
Although it'll be a huge drama at first, I think now would be the time to break out the honesty and let the people involved know what's going on. The real victim here is the girl, and your reputation is not as important as the fact that you have put her in a very difficult position.
I know it's going to sound harsh, but this sort of thing is what you get for your actions. Do you expect that you can get away with it? Abort the baby, with everyone none the wiser, and marry your girlfriend later with a clean conscience?
It's going to suck, but I think you owe your girlfriend, your friend and this young girl some integrity NOW. Your gf deserves to know who you are before she marries you, and the sister needs the support of her family.
Don't push her to abort, or not to, it's her decision. What she decides is up to her. Bullying her would be an awful thing to do. But I think you should come clean, sooner rather than later.
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A
male
reader, RichardJames  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 First off you are young. True Love only wants to have sex with that person. I am in love with my ex-girlfriend and cant even look at another girl. You need to be honest with your gf asap. Honesty will help you save whatever possible but lies always end in destruction. If in the current situation it is in the best interest of the child to be aborted then do so BUT if you have anymeans of supporting another life no matter how hard then keep it. BE HONEST WITH EVERYONE AND TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO BRING IT OUT! you will be respected a lot more by all parties involved.
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A
female
reader, ninetoes +, writes (13 April 2009):
 well, it looks like you're in Canada too, so yes, she can have an abortion without consent, that's the good news!
http://womenscareclinic.ca/
I don't think you will sound like a dick if you just say, "have you thought about what you are going to do?"
If she says that she wants to keep it, I guess you'll have to face the consequences of using her for sex, but there's nothing wrong with gently giving her your opinion, so long as you don't force it onto her.
Be careful, it's a really tough thing for her to do!
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