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age
41-50,
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writes: I have always thought that it was best to be myself- people always say "just be yourself" but then you have the Hollywood idea where looks are everything. Perfect hair, tight clothes, no brains. (Apparently it isn't "cool" to be smart or well-spoken.) My one friend who was proud of being quirky and geeky, has suddenly joined the "Hollywood" train and is more image-conscious and has thrown away everything that has made her a unique individual. She "dumbs" herself down in order to meet/attract guys. My other friends are also obsessed with their looks and have apparently forgotten that at one time they were able to survive without a guy. So I normally try to maintain the, "I'm fine the way I am" stance, but is it really necessary to "dumb down" or become obsessed with one's looks in order to attract a guy? I mean, I make sure my hair looks decent and try to dress well, but I just don't get why some girls try so hard to be this trophy girlfriend, when there are other more important things out there. Am I wrong in my thinking? Should I "care more" about impressing guys? I just think that if you try too hard, then you'll just end up with the wrong type of guy. I'm just so lost and confused.... What is attractive to guys? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 This will inspire right choice. Read.
Mind is more important than matter. Matter has to follow mind. So be serious about creating very very healthy, rational, and intellectual mind. How? by knowing and learning right method of thought. It is a long way but sure way for success. You will be surprised that your dream friend will find you out.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 January 2010):
It depends how desperate you are and what guy you want. A good guy will go for someone who acts who they are. The rubbish guys go for the trophy girls, or the ones who are desperate. My girlfriend acts as she is, and I love her for it. She didn't dumb herself down, because if she had I wouldn't have looked at her if she had. Also, she's entirely independent, so doesn't need to desperately attract a guy. Stay as you are, because you'll find a far better guy than your friends who dumb themselves down will.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Just the same way that you would not look twice at a scruffy guy, unfortunately you also have to take care of your appearance as well. That is if you want to meet somebody. You have to do your hair and nails and wear decent clothes. There is no need for cakes of make up but at least shaping your eyebrows if they are bushy and wearing lip gloss is good enough. Shaving underarms essential. Nice body scent and an attractive smile are big winners. Better than walking around with huge bushy eyebrows and dry cracked lips, uncombed hair and bitten nails. However, it is a big mistake to dumb yourself down. Very few guys find being dumb very attractive.
I used to think the way you do, wearing unattractive clothes (tshirt and combats) everyday but once I started brushing up on the outside I met somebody worth meeting among many others who took an interest. Ofcourse when we are at home I still dress down but when we are out and about I make an effort. We hate it, but first impressions do last.
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A
female
reader, Wobbles  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Most men want a woman with brains as a serious girlfriend. They of course do not want a know-it-all or someone who is constantly trying to prove their intelligence. Men also want a girl who is attractive. They do not want one who looks like a hooker but looks are important to men.
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (12 January 2010):
I definitely think you'll attract the wrong guys if you dumb yourself down. If you act stupid and easy, then they treat you that way. I don't think you need to overly glamorize yourself, but I think that how you may care about a guy's appearance (grooming and clothing) guys also take that into account with women. You don't need to go around looking like a prostitute, but you gotta have a little bit of sex appeal while still being comfortable and true to yourself. I know plenty of guys, if not most, want a girl with brains for a girlfriend. However, they may not necessarily care when they just want someone temporary.
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A
female
reader, Quizic +, writes (12 January 2010):
They're obviously trying to attract a different kind of guy than you are. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Who wins in the end anyway? They'll be attracting guys who are under the impression they're just dull girls that they find attractive. But you on the other hand will end up with a guy who appreciates you for you since you wont be under 10 lbs of make up and under a pretense you're a half wit. It might take you longer to find a man but your relationships will last longer. At least that's my oppinion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Brains and intelligence with a touch of humor.....perfection
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