A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that I am pregnant...about 5 weeks. Not in a healthy relationship, please don't lecture about the relationship, I know what I need to do.What I need is advice from people who have been through this before. I was hit in the lower back earlier this morning and have felt relatively tummy-sick since. But I've felt tummy-sick the past few evenings, but not all day. Could the stress of an unhealthy relationship and being hit this morning have negatively affected what's inside of me? (stress = constantly accused of infidelity, always called a liar, needing to recount every step I take and every individual who crosses my path, every meeting at work, every number on my phone, every email that comes to my phone, falling in and out of depression and extremely emotionally dependent after two years)
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (4 May 2010):
 Get out NOW
If you need to talk to someone, then you can message me and I will be glad to help.
I have extensive experience with this kind of stuff.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Yes it absolutly does negatively effect your pregnancy. If you have been feeling sick to your stomach or nauseated it is most likely due to morning sickness...even if you have not thrown up. If you were hit in the lower back and notice anything really unusual like spotting or if you start cramping, then I would suggest you go to your doctor and get it checked out. If you are worried anyway you can see your doctor as well. At the very least it will calm your nerves. The more stress, physical and emotional abuse that you suffer from in your relationship cause a greater chance for something to go wrong in your pregnancy. I hope this helps, if you want help there are many places and people that can. Best wishes to you and your baby. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, pebs +, writes (12 January 2010):
while our bodies are wonderfully equipped to handle a fall or a jolt here and there during pregnancy,they are not recommended and it is important to remove any obsticals during pregnancy that may result in such actions. because one never knows which jolt or fall will result in death for mother,child or both. in regards to stress researchers have found a corilation between high levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the mother resulting in changes of brain function and behaviour in the offspring. So it seems not only should you remove physical dangers but emotional ones as well. Do yourself a favor and imagine your very best girlfriend, then put her in your shoes, what would you tell her? Then apply that advice to yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Very much so. Physical abuse can certainly cause you to lose the child. He only has to hit you and it can all go wrong. As for stress, my girlfriend miscarried before she met me, and the doctors did suggest it was because of her hugely stressful relationship. Also, your baby will feel the stress that you feel. If you're unhappy and depressed and unrelaxed, your baby will be the same. You know you have to leave the guy. Focus on yourself and your baby now.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Depression is unlikely to cause you to miscarry, but it can cause you to not be looking after yourself well enough to have a healthy baby with a healthy birthweight. Make sure you start taking in your pregnancy multivitamins and eating at least 3 nutritious meals a day (2 veg, carbs and protein and a little fat at EVERY meal). Lots of fluids too. Imagine having a depressed pregnancy then on top of that delivering a sick baby or born with congenital deformities?
About punching you to cause you to miscarry, its unlikely that such will cause a miscarriage this early in your pregnancy. But as your pregnancy progresses, the risk of miscarriage from violence is a very real possibility. As well as the risk of your death which will also kill the baby.
If you know what to do then do it now. In my line of work I regularly deal with these type of situations and a few months ago one patient lost her life after hard blows to the face that caused a hemorrage killing her and the baby then the husband killed himself too, gunshot to the head. Another time a few years back, a woman was choked to death while pregnant then he attempted suicide by driving off a cliff and again while in prison hospital. All these women had that "don't lecture me" attitude. They all thought they had things under control. I believe the highest murdered group in America is of pregnant women by their spouses. Don't be a statistic. If you don't know what to do, start with a domestic abuse hotline or the police.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 January 2010):
Yes! You can lose the baby. Hasn't happened to me personally, but while my best friend's mother was pregnant with her she had to leave my friend's father. He wasn't abusive necessarily, but he just has a personality that can drive someone crazy. Anyway, the doctor told her she needed to do what she needed to do to remove the stress otherwise she could lose the baby.
Definitely leave this guy you're with and seek help from your doctor that way he/she can help you with the other circumstances going on in your life that are stressing you out. If it's stressing you out, it's stressing your baby out too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): well i will tell you this much...i have had 2 children and stress can cause damage to you and your child...it could cause you to miscarry your child...try to not be stressed out so much and you sure dont want to be hit in the stomach..i would rather someone get hit in the back or anywhere else than the stomach...but the sick feeling you are having is probley a little bit of morning sickness that would probley be my guess...but i am no doctor i would seriously consider going to the doctor and have an ultra sound done to make sure you and your baby are fine that would be a wise thing
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A
female
reader, asdfg +, writes (12 January 2010):
Yes, absolutely.
I won't lecture you. I will only say that I am the child of such a relationship, and I once watched my dad shove my 5-month pregnant mom hard into our fish tank, resulting in her going into labor.
My mom then drove herself to the hospital and delivered the baby. 2 days later, my little sister was dead as a result.
This is an absolutely true story. That's all I will say. Physical abuse can absolutely affect your unborn child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): the best advice i can give is to leave.
its still early in your pregancy so there shouldnt be anything wrong with you or the baby. but to be on the safe side you may want to see if your baby is ok you never know
leave for the safety of you an your baby
an yes stress can cause problems i dont know just how bad your situation is dont know what else he does but like i said the best to do is leave hope what i wrote helped you
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A
female
reader, texasgal +, writes (12 January 2010):
Yes. The stress of an unhealthy relationship puts you in an unhealthy hormonal state-for both you and the baby. This unhealthy hormonal state can, does, and will affect the physical and brain development of your child and can cause problems for years to come in terms of physical, mental, and emotional development and dysfunction. You know what you need to do: Give your baby a good start. Give yourself a new start.
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