A
female
age
41-50,
*ax2922
writes:I had an affair with a man who was in engaged. He is from Italy and is here for work and his fiance is and has been in Italy which I'm sad to say made it easier. When we started hanging out he didn't tell me but after I found out it was so hard to let him go because I felt like I deserved it and I would be able to deal with the outcome. After a year a month ago he ended it because if guilt. I must say that the whole time he never once said he would leave her he made it very clear he wasn't and as crazy as I sound I dealt with it. He ended it in a horrible mean way which hurt I was so mad and felt like his fiance should know who he is and I emailed her and said I needed to talk to her. He text me and said she asked him about me and that I ruined his life not only his but hers and there families. I can't tell you how bad and horrible I feel. Has anyone told I know I'm a bad person but please try to be nice with replies
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male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (16 February 2010):
I wouldn't worry about his life since he ruined it on his own. But you should know that being in an affair can get you in very hot water and people will always come out hurt in one way or another. So don't get yourself involved in this mess again. No good can come from it. Learn from this and move on. Good luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): Dont feel bad... At all. If he had shown you some respect when he ended it then maybe but he deserved it. He had been having his cake too long. His fiancée deserved to know what a snake he is.
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A
male
reader, Xernyhs +, writes (16 February 2010):
Don't feel bad, laugh at him. People hate when you trivialize their problems by pretending they mean nothing. And he deserves it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 February 2010):
You have paid the price for having an affair with a man who is engaged. Granted he didn't tell you, but you could have ended it when you knew. You thought you could handle it and you've now found out you couldn't. You have also learned as many other mistresses have that a man who cheats doesn't give a damn. He ruined his own life by cheating, so don't worry about that. But learn from this. Taken men are out of bounds for this reason. Find a single man and never have an affair again.
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (16 February 2010):
Honestly!... You sound like Tiger Woods mistresses.
'I didn't want to ruin his life,. . . I swear!"
But you wasn't saying any of that when you had your ass in the air and face down in the pillow.
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