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male
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*voloution
writes: hi im 18 years old and still a virgin because i wanted to wait for someone i liked, now i have been seein this girl who is 1 year younger things are going well an i think this will be the 1!!!the thing is she is quite experienced and i tld her im not a virgin just in case she wanted someone with experience and i keep thinkin when we have sex for the 1st time what if she isnt satisfied and leaves!!!!and is it true you wont last long the 1st time????any help appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 I will keep my reply short and simple,
When I lost my virginity I lied to the guy and told him that 'of course I wasn't a virgin!!!' He took my virginity without even knowing it!!!
I was too embaressed to admit it to anyone for many years, in fact it wasn't until I meant my last boyfriend who I was really comfortable and secure with that I admitted it. What I'm telling you is it will be best to swallow your 'pride' now and be honest with her rather then carry it around with you for years, its not nice!! Take it from me.
You have every right to loose your virginity how ever and whenever you wish to, I really wouldn't suggest lying to someone saying you already have, because you DESERVE for it to be intimate and for the lady you loose it too, to know how special it is for you and also how special they are to you. You deserve to completely indulge in the moment and experience this new feeling rather then spend it pretending to be a pro! Its an experience you deserve to savour...
I wish you well x x
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (16 March 2006):
 I will never forget one of my best friends telling me how she felt she was so lucky because her new boyfriend was a virgin. She felt pretty special that she was going to be his first.
Anyway, I think you can do one of two things...
(1) Tell her. Tell her why you lied. I think she will understand and if she doesn't, she's really not worth it.
(2) Don't tell her. This may lead to your first time feeling scared and worried rather than enjoying it.
I think the bottom line is if you care for this girl and she cares for you she will not be worried. In fact, she will probably be so flattered that you have waited until you met someone you like and care for as much as her.
When it comes down to it, a man with experience is not really counts to us girls - we want someone who will love us, treat us with respect and kindness, look out for us, be there for us.... and in the bedroom, we want someone who will make us feel beautiful, desired, sexy, loved and safe and make sure that our needs in the bedroom are considered too!
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Well, it is hard to say. I was with a guy who was a virgin and he didn't tell me until two years after the fact. I had no idea that he was still a virgin (he was 25!) when we had sex. I think he felt insecure about sex with me because I was more experienced and I took his distance to mean that he was no longer interested so I started seeing someone else which really hurt him a lot. Of course, he never told me how he felt or what was going on until way after the fact, which hurt me when I found out. So, the moral of my story is that maybe it is better to be honest with her and let her know what is up so that if anything seems amiss, she will understand what is going on. I had no idea he was a virgin, so maybe she would never know. But if the relationship does get serious, you will most likely want to tell her and she may be upset to find out later that you lied to her. Personally, I felt honored that he chose me to be "the one", and I think she may feel that way, too! You could tell her that you were afraid she would think less of you so you lied to her, but after thinking it over, you thought it was better to let her know. Honesty may not always be the best policy when it comes to the little stuff, but I think when it is something important to you (and this is VERY important to you -- losing your virginity is a big deal!) it is best to tell the truth. If she really likes you, she wouldn't think poorly of you for being less experienced. It doesn't matter to you that she is more experienced, right? Besides, this gives her a perfect opportunity to show you the ropes -- the way she likes it! Good luck!
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