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female
,
anonymous
writes: Well, on New Year's Eve i slept with this guy, it was really unlike me but something made me do it. Then, since then he is all i can think about, at first, he was really nice, and i have stayed around his house a few times since then. However, now it seems like he is totally uninterested in me, but if i see him out, after a few drinks i will be all over him. What can i do? I have never fallen for anyone like this, he has something special which i cant stop thinkin about, its making me depressed, knowing how much i want him, and no matter what he does, i still feel like i love him. I saw a pshycic who told me to back away from him and he will come to me, but i cant seem to leave him alone, everytime i tell myself i will, i start talking to him, all i want is for him to be with me!From anonymous, 16 xxxx
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female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 The best advice I can give you (in addition to the sensible suggestions below) is that you should not be drinking around this guy. When you're already emotional about someone, getting drunk with them is a really bad idea, as it tends to make you lose control. You don't want this guy to think of you as a drunken possessive wreck, you want him to think of you as proper girlfriend material, and you're not helping your cause right now by obsessing over this guy. Whatever you do, don't tell him you saw a psychic and asked about him, it probably wouldn't go down well. Instead of looking for confidence at the bottom of a bottle, I suggest you should take some time to get a bit of perspective on this issue - yes, you like this guy, but it sounds as if he is less convinced, so you need to persuade him of your merits by showing him that you are calm and friendly and fun to be around. Don't sleep with him again unless he is willing to have a proper relationship.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Well whatever the merits of psychic insight i do think the advice to back away is not bad advice in general. Also I think you need to think about broadening the scope of what you do. Have you for example thought of asking him to the cinema or another date like scenario??
Making yourself too avaliable can indeed be dangerous and its also true that some people like 'the chase'. Box clever. Don't ignore him or be rude but make it so he isn't the undivided focus of your attention; when you go out bring a friend you can talk too and whose company you enjoy and try and focus on them. Even try and notice and talk to other guys.
You don't have to stretch the point but just let him know that he won't get your attention for free and that he has to work at it too. Hopefully you will soon find that he is starting conversations with you and giving you attention.
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