A
male
age
30-35,
*hatta
writes:I have a serious problemI know this girl,she's 22(and has a child) and I'm 18.She really likes me and I like her too.Anyways we started to flirt.This I didn't take serious as I was only joking and also thought she was joking too. Because I kept saying saying to myself,she can't be serious about us,what would she be doing with someone like me,because she is a mother, doesn't have a job,and I'm still going to college.So I kept on playing with her,only to finally realize that this girl really had strong feelings for me,and wasn't playing any games. She even told me that she was into any fooling around and told me that she wanted a serious relationship between us and I even agree.I know I did a very bad thing,but it was because I thought she playing with me the way I was playing with her.Turns out I couldn't be more wrongI finally came to my senses two nights ago when we came extremely close to having sex,and I had to make up some silly excuse why we couldn't do it that night.Its not that I wouldn't want to have sex with her,because she was practically begging me to,but it would mean a lot to her and very little to me.And I don't want to end up breaking her heart because I care for her.Do think she would be angry with me,if I told her the truth,? what should I do?
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male
reader, shatta +, writes (2 October 2009):
shatta is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks you all for the advice,I've finally build up enough courage to tell her the truth ,I just hope it goes well
A
female
reader, Kendra0589  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 I applaud you for not having sex with her. The average guy would do it and then ignore her as I've had done to me. But next time don't flirt people sometimes take it seriously. Inform her that you want to be friends and nothing more. Yes she might be upset but the most important thing is that you were honest and didn't take advantage of her. If she can't respect your honesty that's her problem. I wish there were more guys like you.
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A
female
reader, compuzzled_chick  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 I don't think you could be any more right about telling her the truth. You shouldn't ebb her on about something when you really want to tell her you're not into it. Her heart will be broken, but it will be better for the both of you and she will see it. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, loops  +, writes (2 October 2009):
I agree, you did the right thing by not having sex with her. But you do need to be honest with her, and be gentle in the process. Like the guy above me said, she may feel a little hurt and rejected but she would feel lot worse should she think you have abused her feelings.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 October 2009):
Well you did the right thing by not having sex wth her. She would have felt worse if you had. I think you need to sit down with her and explain that you see her as a friend and nothing more. Be gentle. Expain to her that she's a great girl, but that you're not the guy for her. She might be angry, hurt and such. But believe me, it will be better than her thinking that you love her and that you've used her. Let her down gently.
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