A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello!I have 16 years old and im about to have 17 next month, January! When i was 13 i made a promise to myself and to my closest friend that at 16 i would loose my virginity. However i have 16 years old now and there is only one month left for me to have 17 and i never had sex. And it is not just that, the thing is that i have never had a boyfriend in my entire life, i have never kissed and i have never even made any physical contact with a guy! Im freaking out, all my friends (at least 25 friends) with the same age as me and even younger have already lost their virginity and had boyfriends and all. What is wrong with me? I used to be the one who knew everything about sex, i was the sex counselor of my school! When it comes to sex doughts they camed to me for me to gave sex advices and i was the one who people said to be the first girl to have sex and that i would be a sex godess! But guess what, im not any of those stuff! I am just getting so tired and sick of hearing people talking about it. I am, by far, really ugly but that does not keep guys away, right?Please help me and give your advice!
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female
reader, soscared..  +, writes (24 December 2011):
don't worry about sex..wait as long as you can, it's not as big of a deal that everyone makes it out to be..TRUST me..you don't wanna end up where i am..i'm gonna be a teen mom, i'm younger than you..my twins aren't even born yet and it's been crazy hard..don't worry about sex! your 16, now i wish i woulda never had sex till i was 20..but you won't realize that till after it's too late..so please if you don't listen to anything else i said please listen to that first line...DON'T worry about sex
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 And why did you promise yourself something so silly ? If you don't loose your virginity by 17, by 18 it will be as fine . Or by 19. Or by 27, as for that.
This is one of those thing where the important is not that they happen fast, the important is that they happen well, in the right way and the right circumstances. Quality over speed. Wait until you meet someone you really like and who likes you back ( even better, someone you really love and who loves you back ). Otherwise , it will be more or less like going to the dentist to have a teeth pulled : sure, once you get it done then you don't have to worry about it anymore- but you can't say it was a happy, joyful ,fulfilling experience.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (23 December 2011):
 There's no such things as a "sex goddess" outside of the mythologies, (and both Ashtarte and Aphrodite got the rough end of the stick from their biographers).
I can understand the disappointment, but look at it this way - at 16, you ought to be studying and making a career for yourself. Hell, that's what I was doing at your age, and I didn't even pay much attention to my sex life until I actually got one.
Sex - losing your virginity - and maybe even becoming the sort of woman that men desire - these are all things that will happen in due course of time. Don't try to speed up fate.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (23 December 2011):
There's no such things as a "sex goddess" outside of the mythologies, (and both Ashtarte and Aphrodite got the rough end of the stick from their biographers).
I can understand the disappointment, but look at it this way - at 16, you ought to be studying and making a career for yourself. Hell, that's what I was doing at your age, and I didn't even pay much attention to my sex life until I actually got one.
Sex - losing your virginity - and maybe even becoming the sort of woman that men desire - these are all things that will happen in due course of time. Don't try to speed up fate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): Having lots of sex is usually looked upon as an achievement for guys your age. Regardless of whether you approve of male sluttiness or not (that's a different question) you have to recognize that it takes some decent sex appeal and effort for a guy to get it.
But for girls it's not really an achievement to rack up a lot of wild sex. Any girl can do it, all it takes is a lack of judgment and self-control. Guys don't view it as a prize, we view it as a turnoff more often. Most guys who are "impressed" by it are just wanting some quick easy sex from you right now. Not a long term relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): Girl get your priorities straight!! You're 16! Your main focus should be school right now not sex! -___- it's disturbing how young girls are and they think they gotta bang dudes to be liked/accepted and popular. Get real. You are still really young you have plenty of time to experience that. Only have sex with a boyfriend who you love and who loves you back!! But right now focus on school and any other hobbies you have going on. Don't do anything stupid just so you can be like every other girl you know, be different have respect for yourself!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 December 2011):
Girl, you're just 16! I don't get the pressure to lose it so quickly. Sure I felt it too at your age but I never took it seriously. Do you think that once you've done the deed you will gain something profound needed to continue your life?
Do you think you'll be more accepted in school and more respected? If that's what you're looking for, seek it elsewhere, because sex, especially the amount you're looking for, at your age is only going to get you stamped the town slut. Not to mention the STD's and pregnancy risks...
Sex isn't a measuring stick for desirability/looks either. Jessica Alba, whom I think we can all agree is very pretty, lost her virginity at the age of 19. Adriana Lima (cited to be the most beautiful woman in the world) held out until she was 27. Etc. Countless of examples out there.
Also, look up retroactive jealousy on this site. Lots of relationships get ruined because of promiscuous pasts. Guys simply don't like it. They will use the 'sex goddess' for a quick shag but they won't give her a look when they're looking for a proper gf. This attitude of yours could really bite you in the @ss later on if you follow through with your plan.
I lost my virginity at 22, which is later than most. I held out because I wanted to lose it to someone whom I cared a lot for. The experience was so much better than that of my friends who lost it randomly in their teens because of peer pressure.
I'm by no means an ugly duckling so it's not like I couldn't have lost it earlier. Anyone can get sex; it's hormones raging and basically all you have to do is present yourself as a mere piece of meat for guys to take away. The question you need to ask yourself is: Aren't you worth more than that? Aren't you insulting yourself by looking at it this way?
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (23 December 2011):
 Why would you want to lose your virginity at 16?
It's not like a coupon that's about to expire, it's something you can only have once, and you should only save for someone you REALLY love.
In fact, sex is something you should do after marriage, because of two good reasons:
Sex leads to children. Married couples want and can afford children.
Also, if you have sex with your boyfriend, who is to say you guys will be together forever? What if your boyfriend just wants sex, and breaks up with you after? That's going to suck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): Why is sex so important at a young age? Just bc everyone you know is doing the deed doesn't make it right. You should try to focus on more important things and wait to meet the right guy. I was having sex at 15 and I regretted it years afterwards. Most teenage boys are just looking for a piece of a... They don't care about you. So why give them something so special and personal? They don't deserve you or any girl. You should try reading Loose Girl. True story of a girl who sleeps with dozens if guys thinking it would make her feel better and important. You want to be a sex goddess but I think it might be a cover for something else. Do you really want other people to know your sex life? Do you understand that it could backfire and lead to gossip and nasty rumors? Bd careful about this decision.
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