| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am so scared of showing my boobs or downstairs to my bf. I am 18 and I'm ready to get phyical with my bf who I have been seeing for about 6 months but I'm so scared of showing him my body. I feel fat and I think that my body isn't good enough. My bf is tall, blonde and gorgeous his body is perfect! What shall I do??
View related questions:
boobs, ready for sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sharoney +, writes (22 October 2005):
I suffered from anorexia for years, so believe me, I know all about wanting to hide my body! I refused to let my boyfriend see or even touch me where I felt ugly, even hugging was difficult at my worst as I didn't want him to feel the 'fat' body hidden under the clothes. For some reason he put up with me and grabbed his flabby belly, showed me every imperfection, showed me that it's ok not to be perfect. Asked me if
I think the most women have hangups about their body to some extent, which isn't helped by the airbrushed photos that adorn our magazines ect ect ect (don't ever believe the models really look like that-they don't until after a few hours in makeup and the photo's have been airbrushed and edited so much that their own mother wouldn't recognise them!)
When someone sees you as you really are, no hiding behind the make up and flattering clothes, it is scary as hell, but the only way for you to truely believe that he's a little deeper than to judge you on looks is to just (sorry)let it all hang out. Say, "hey, this is me. I'm real. Love me as I am." And I'm pretty sure he will love you exactly as you are. I trust your relationship is based on more than the physical and you are emotionally involved too!
Sex with someone you truely love isn't about looking like a glamour model. Its about trust and intamicy, wanting to show physical love. A wobbly bum/whatever is never going to stand in the way of true love.
Anyway, you probably are gorgeous and just dont know it, but even if you're not, well, many guys would be intimidated by perfection-guys have hangups too, and a bit of cellulite/whatever may give him the confidence to reveal his imperfections-would you judge him or be turned off by a hairy back/spotty bum; doubt it. (third nipple-maybe, haha) The biggest turn on is confidence. Look him in the eye, let him know how much you want him. He'll melt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2005): If you are concerned with your body, then make some changes. Do them for yourself and only for yourself. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want to do about it. If he's a nice guy, he would understand and help you. It's understandable to want that "ideal" body so that you and your partner look perfect together. Who doesn't? Use that as your motivation. All the best.
...............................
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 September 2005):
 You need to remember that your boyfriend isn't just or only with you because of how you look. Consider for a moment why you are with him. Is it because he looks gorgeous or does it also have something to do with his personality, the way he treats you, the way you both get on together?
He will probably be just as nervous as you when you get around to being intimate and making love is a natural progression from talking and sharing feelings to expressing them. He won't be peering at your body and thinking lots of awful thoughts. Instead he will be anxious to please you and thinking about how to make the experience pleasurable for you.
What we see in the mirror isn't necessarily what other people see. You think your body isn't good enough but he will more than likely think the complete opposite! You are looking at your body with critical eyes while he will look at you with affection and love. Honestly, you have nothing to be scared of.
Tell him your concerns, let him know you feel anxious. Take your time choosing when to make love; only when you are ready.
I think you will be surprused at his reaction and wonder why you worried so much.
Always remember that he is with you because he wants to be and that includes all of you; how you look and how you are as a person.
...............................
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (26 September 2005):
First you need to gain some respect for yourself!
Your perfect boyfriend wouldnt be with you if you were ugly and fat and nasty!! That must mean something.
Recently i have been criticised for my advice on here by one individual and as a bloke its probably best to leave some advice from a female who would be of better help...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2005): you shouldnt feel like that your boyfreind must love you alot to be with you for 6 months and to be honest if he loves you alot he'll accept you for who you are everybody is different nobody is perfect but everybody is special in their own ways so dont be so nervous im sure he's just as scared as you
...............................
A
female
reader, Delirius +, writes (26 September 2005):
Sweetheart, he has been with you. YOU!! for the last six months. He must be attracted to you or he wouldn't be with you. We girls are shockingly critical of ourselves, we only see the bad bits when we look in the mirror. But guys are completely different to us. I am now an old fart, this is why I know. Guys are usually attracted to a particular feature of a girl, and funnily enough, beautiful eyes are as high up the ladder as a good bum, long legs and big boobs. It's not like he is going to do the full-on physical check-up on you(unless he happens to be dressed up as a doctor;) but seriously, you don't have to have the lights on. A couple of candles or less if you wish can be very flattering to a womans curves and really does set the mood. Take a deep breath petal and go and get your hunk of a man. By the way, I always thought I was fat too and later I found out that all the boys I knew used to think I was really sexy, and too scary for them to hit on me. Good Grief had I only known!!
...............................
|
