A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So here's the deal....My boyf and I have been together 4 years, met at college, moved in together straight away, I finished college, he started his own business which he named after my family. We were so in love my family loved him even though him and my mum would have a few arguments occasionally over stupid things (im close to my mum as my father died when i was young and i have no other siblings).Over the past few years my boyfriend has become busier and busier with his business my family invested a large sum of money into his business which i agreed with and my grandmother who gave him the money said she was investing in our future together... Me and him have had arguments in the past year/6 months, i havent considered them to be be detrimental, we would argue then the next day he would be fine. In November we went out for a meal together and he said 'I think we need a month apart' I was devastated. He said 'we just aren't getting along and we both need a bit of space and a month should sort that out and make up our minds if we want to be together or not' I tried to fight and said 'no im happy with you' but he had made up his mind and left 2 days later, we met up 2 weeks into the month and he said 'its just not going to work, I've asked you a few questions and you haven't answered them the way i would have liked'. He seems to have an issue with my mum... they had an argument a few weeks ago which got quite heated about 'who said what' ect. My boyfriend said when we met 'your just too close to your mum and you dont stand up for me' - I wasn't even there when they had an argument but i reasoned with them both afterwards. He then went on to tell me that he hasn't been happy with 'us' for 2 years, we aren't close anymore (i argued due to the fact that he is constantly working and i have to fight for time with him)he moved out all of his belongings the following day and we had a little talk he said things like 'we are different people we want different things. Perhaps in a few years after we have both seen other people we can try again?' I've sent numerous emails and texts of how I regret my actions and i've laid my feelings bare but all i get is nothing. We've exchanged a few words about bills ect but he just said 'i want you to be happy' - I WAS, with him!!!!A few weeks before he broke up with me, he was loving and normal i didn't think there was anything wrong, so it came as such a shock when he broke the news.It just annoys me that its all his decision, he is blaming me for all of it and not taking any blame himself and now hes off into the sunset with my family's money to start a better life....I still love him, but when we talk he is so cold towards me and treats me like one of his clients...
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (14 January 2014):
 As much as it hurts and you want him back, he is not coming back. He has made up his mind. You have done the beginning and crying and its fallen on deaf ears.
Yes its hard but you have to let him go. The more you beg and plead, you just going to make him angry and push him further away.
You probably like me that made the mistake of having your entire world centre around the man you love. You need to have a balance friends and family and a life of your own. You need to start going out with friends and family, working on improving yourself and confidence. You don't need him to complete you.
I promise it gets better, the first couple times you go out it will be hard but you can fake being happy and eventually you think less of the person and start enjoying being around with friends and family.
Go no contact. Yes you will get the desire to call him, but have a friend that should be there and call her and tell her how you feel. This way you can save your pride and avoid making a fool of yourself. Just remember don't push yourself, you are allowed to grieve the loss of the relationship but not endlessly. Treasure the good and appreciate it and say its best that its over and time to find someone that can be true to you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 January 2014):
 Well, first of all, it was pretty naive of your family to give him the money when you two weren't engaged or married. Unless they have it written down with his signature that is was a loan and/or investment that money is lost I would think. You would have to talk to a solicitor about that though. And yes, I WOULD talk to one.
If he wants a break there is nothing you can can do, but I would advice to either set some ground rules for the break up or make it a clear break up, not a break.
He has already left the relationship and he is expecting you to just accept it.
Of course he doesn't want to take ANY responsibility, why should he when he can blame you and your mom?
Talk to a solicitor see if you family can even TRY and get the money back, whether you break up or not.
NOW you know what kind of dude he really is...
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