A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have only had sex once. And yes, we had protection he had already came in the condom and it broke, i had to have emergency contraception aka the plan b pill but i want a baby soooo bad. im only 13 tho... i will be 14 in june, i always watch bringing home baby and it makes me want to have one even more! but i was raped a year ago by a fucked up man but yeah when my family found out i "had sex with the man" was hell i never stopped crying for longer than a minute and i got grounded from my phone, and when my mom found out what really happened, she could not stop blaming herself for yelling me and blaming everthing on me, and if i get pregnant i will never hear the end of it from my aunt.. but if i have my boyfriends baby they will take a DNA test on the baby and my boyfriend will get in a shitload of trouble so i was thinking without him knowing i will go to one of my ex bf's and get prego from him so my bf's DNA wont show up. But that will make me look like a slut. I dont know what to do.... :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): I am 14 and when I was 13 I really wanted to get pregnant. I did and my baby girl Alissa is just beautiful. But you need to really think about it before you go and get pregnant. As I said my daughter is beautiful but you better believe it was and still is hard. My boy friend wanted a baby too and then at last moment he left me. Some of the unpleasantries are: the morning sickness, stretch marks, telling your parents, never forget the pain of the birth itself, also the sleepless nights, the worrying for your babies future financially and for its safety. First review all of these things and think of what your future could be like. You could have one of those good teen motherhood stories but the chances are slim so I'm advising you against it. If you decide against having a child young, but in the heat of the moment change your mind try to think of the unpleasant things. If you decide to have a baby even at this age, I wish you the best of luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): hey, hun i am 15 and i wanted a baby so badly! it was like a fantasy for me. and hey! I GOT ONE! i am now 7 months pregnant, i have to drop out of school, the daddy who promised he would always be with me, left me, its THOUSANDS of dollars to have one, yes they are adorable and you know, but are you honestly ready?? me, i thought i was until i got pregnant then i learned, I KNOW NOTHING! my mom is a god! i am a teenager, i used to think i know everything, but i dont, and your mom may have been upset because she thought you willingly had sex, but its beecause she knows what can happen, she knows how this will effect your life. Maybe get a baby sitting job. I have to have this doll that acts like a real baby as practice, and it is soo hard!!!!!!!!! it crys at 2am, there is no way to shut off the batteries! and i think, before you do anything, get a baby sitting job, maybe babysit multiple kids!!! then picture babysitting, with homework, and school, and a social life, and extra activites you do out of school, its to much.
if you want a baby, i dont blame you because i felt that way before, but hun, also do not have sex with a boy just for the baby!!! its not a good idea.
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Your 13 honey. Your way to young to have a child.
Having a child at your age will put alot of strain on your body.
Also having a child isn't simple. You have to do everything for it. It depends on you for everything.
Having this child could stop you from achieving the grades you need and that could really screw up your life.
I know this my be hard to accept but you might not be with your boyfriend forever. I know you may think you are completely in love now but you may think differently in years to come.
If you really want to be around babys then ask if you can babysit for someone but please wait to have one of your own.
Hope this helped
Olivia.
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A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Oh dear.
Please do not do any of that.
I am sorry to hear about you being raped it is such an awful thing and no-one should have to go through that but please please please do not get pregnant by anyone at your age.
Wait until it is legal in your country as at the moment it is illegal and as you say your boyfriend and you will both get into trouble.
So when you are both at a legal age (i believe it's 18 in your country but correct me if im wrong) then you can continue to have sex and then discuss having a baby.
But remember, to have a baby, you must own your own house, have your own job to be able to support it financially and be in a stable relationship. This does not mean wait for a year and then get pregnant, it means finish school, get a job and find someone you love, get a house and then when the time is right and you are both ready..THEN have a baby.
At the moment, you cannot provide a baby with anything, your mother will do all the work and it is not your mother's job, its YOUR job.
I'm sorry to be harsh but your family has every right to freak out you are in no way ready for a baby. The things i have mentioned above are only a FEW of the things you need to be able to bring up a baby, there's so much you need and im afraid at the moment sweetie, you have none of them.
All the best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): Hi, I'm really sorry for what's happened to you and what happened in the aftermath.
I really think you should go speak to a professional counsellor about what you are feeling now you have a lot of questions that you need answered.
I don't think you should be considering having a baby yet, besides the fact that you are so young, from what you have written your family would not be able to cope with a new child. I don't think any of your ex's will want to have a baby right now and it would be unfair to do it without their consent.
I think you should really get some advice from a counsellor you seem very confused right now. Why are you so eager to have a child now?
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A
female
reader, Abrasive_Reality +, writes (23 January 2009):
Darling, you are far to young to have a child. It may seem like a really wonderful part of life you may want to take part it, but I don't think a 13 year old girl can actually make the decision.
Most girls your age that have babies, have them as a mistake and they are far to young to fully care for the child on their own.
Do you really want to have a baby and cause all that trouble within your household? A child should bring joy and happiness upon the mother and the individuals surrounding her....It doesn't seem that it would be that great if you went ahead and did something like that.
Your thoughts are still very young, and you couldn't possibly care for yourself on your own without the support of your parents, so why would you want to welcome a child into an environment where you don't even have the stability and understanding of life to care for yourself.
I don't think a woman or a girl has to be married to have a child, but I do think that a girl should want to have a baby for the right reasons, and not just because you are highly influenced by the television shows you watch, but because you are financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically ready to play the role of mommy.
I do not have children, however I am a nanny, which means I take care of small children for about eight hours a day and you wouldn't believe the energy, effort, and time that goes into playing the role of Mommy.
I would love to have a child, but I wont have a baby that is welcomed into a world of chaos where I may possibly not be able to care for the child on my own.
Also, a baby requires a lot of money and time. At your age I'd be surprised if you've ever had a job, and if you have, I'd be even more surprised if you had a job that kept you financially stable, meaning you'd have the financial ability to cover the costs of having and caring for a child.
There are plenty of organizations where young girls can go to talk to someone about having a child at a young age, and you may even spend some time researching the programs that allow a girl of your age to take a baby for a day or a week to see if it is right for them..... even one of those fake babies that do all that real babies do could show you that you may not be ready....
You still have school and a life to live, don't cut yourself short because you want to rush into being an adult.
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A
female
reader, ShanL +, writes (23 January 2009):
 don't rush into these things because it's not easy at all. my sister had her 1st child in the 10th grade at 16 years old and that wasn't easy for her....school & a baby. the father was there when she had the baby and a few months after but he started cheating on my sis. but all i'm saying is you really don't need a baby and wanting one isnt good enough now answer these questions and really see if you're ready for a child:
1. do you have a job?
2. are you passing in school?
3. do your boyfriend have a job?
4. living with parents, boyfriend parents, or family member?
5. do you like to party?
there are more questions but to many to type now if you answered those truthfully you'll see that having a baby isn't as easy a that show you watch because my sister learned a valuable lesson and that lesson was a "baby" can't take of a baby..(meaning you still lve with your parents, you have no job, and you havent graduated school)
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