A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im thirteen and i want a baby but dont want to have sex, what should i do ?
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female
reader, dontjudgeme1  +, writes (3 June 2009):
girl trust me you do not want a baby especially at 13 im 15 and 4 months pregnant ; im tellin you u shud wait for as long as u can bcuz havin a baby and still being in school and not workin is hardd i kno its gonna be hard and my baby aint even here yet and im not with my baby's father so that makes it even harder ; i mean i aint sayin dont do it but trust me its gonna be hard and ur only 13 which meaans ur not even in high school u shud not be thinkin about kids i wasnt and now look at me my baby was not exoected but im not gonna give it up so stay in school and work ur harest ; by the way what does your parents think ?
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (1 June 2009):
 I have to disagree with SirenaBlusera getting a puppy is a very bad idea, I honestly don't think at 13 you would honestly care for a dog, because you have school, a social life and the attention span of goldfish.
Honestly I know my early advice wasn't too helpful but I think you should try, babysitting or work experience at a nursery so you can get used to kids and give them back at the end of the day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): 1) you are too too young to have children. 2)there is no way you can have children unless you seriously consider ivf. you are only 13, a baby and you want a baby. im sorry to say, i will not be a part of your ruin. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): get a babysitting job that you have to take care of all night for a bout a week then come back here and say i still want a baby. oh and get a child that has colic then say that. you will change your mind fast.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 May 2009):
 I would look into getting a puppy, but a word of caution: Be sure it's right for you.
A pet has many needs, and in order to grow and thrive, must have love and attention... if you are able to provide a good life for an animal, then go for it.
It's totally normal that you have the instinct to nurture and love something, but remember, sacrifice is part of love, whether it's a baby or a pet. I think you should get a pet if you are in a position to provide its needs... animals not only have physical needs, they have emotion in their makeup and need and deserve love.
Discuss this with your parents, and if it's a viable option for you, you should DEFINITELY get a puppy or a kitten! Millions of those poor little guys in shelters need and deserve a loving home.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I wanted a child when I was around your age also. First you need to be self-sufficient, which means you are financially and emotionally taking care of yourself. If you are not then you are not ready for a baby. Don't make your parents financially responsible, do like me and become self-sufficient (this includes not having to live off the government either) and you can do what ever you want. Plus a sperm bank wont even consider helping you (since you don't want to have sex) until you can prove to them you are independent!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): So many girls your age and even older are devastated when they find out they are pregnant. It's a huge emotional strain, families get stressed, it's a financial burden, there's so much taboo if you are young and single etc etc.And yet you have decided that this is what you actually want for yourself! I guess it's a good thing that you cannot have a baby without having sex, and you are far too young to be taken seriously for the other options out there for, you, know, woman who actually CANT get pregnant. You're being silly. I agree with the doll suggestion. You could dress it up and play mommy with it!
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female
reader, amber_schram +, writes (31 May 2009):
 lmdao sperm donater! i hate when ppl say dont have a kid ur just a kid! im 15 nd want one i am gonna wait tho till i get my own house nd money nd stuff but yeah good luck hon!
xo-amber
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female
reader, Stars20 +, writes (30 May 2009):
 I KNOW!!!!! Get a baby sitting job! If you're too young for that volunteer at an early head start or hospital nursery. You will get an "I want to have a baby boot camp" experience which would help you greatly in your decision of wanting to have a baby! Go for it, I bet it will really help.
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female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (30 May 2009):
 DON'T HAVE A CHILD AT 13.
I can't stress enough what it will do to your life.
My friend got pregnant and had her baby at the age of 13 and she thought it would so cool, she could dress it up and it would be easy to look after.
She was so wrong.
This baby was born and she found out its not the doll she could dress up and have fun with, it was a real life which depended on her to live. This baby crys at 3 in the morning so she has to get up to feed it every night and check on it all the time.
She can't go out and have fun. She can't have her own life. And shes lost her childhood.
Babys cost money. They need Food, Milk, Nappys, Clothes, Toys etc.. and being 13 you won't have a job to support the babys needs and no a paper round won't help.
She has now dropped out of school with no GCSE so that means no collage, no well paid job.
Her life evolves around this baby.
Wait until you are older, have a secure job which can support you and a child. Have a house of your own and a either a husband or in a very close relationship. This baby won't have a good quality of life if you can't support it.
If you want to look after something get a pet. It relys on you but you can still go to school and get good GCSE so you can go to collage.
Livia
xoxox
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (30 May 2009):
Buy a doll!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): You're a girl, probably it's your mother's instinct kicking in, with puberty and all. It happens, although some question that there is such an instinct but most women will have some sort of reaction when they see a baby, even if it's a stranger's baby.
You're too young for this. Maybe you could get a pet? It's obviously not the same, but it can help you with this craving you have about taking care of someone else, which is what I imagine your wanting for a baby is about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Nothing, don't have sex just to get pregnant, because i doubt the boy will want it. You probably want a baby now cos you have issues and want something to love you, but the baby will just make everything more difficult and worse, and it might even grow up to resent you
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): You are way too young to be even thinking about having a child. Having a baby will be tough work and it would also be unfair on the baby if you were to bring it up in a place where it does not have both parents and financial and emotional stability. Wait ten years til you have your own house, job and you're in a long term relationship.
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female
reader, TrueLoveCoach +, writes (30 May 2009):
 Dear Anonymous,Of course, you want a baby. It's a biological drive that most women have. I'm glad you're asking this question instead of just trying to make a baby without thinking through the consequences. The people who have already answered your question have very good points and I want you to consider them very seriously.You've said you want a baby but you don't want to have sex. Good. Right now, you are very young to complicate your life with sex. As far as having babies is concerned, there is a reason it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. Two loving parents caring for and raising a child is so much easier than one trying to go it alone.Now, if you want to prepare yourself to be a good mother, you need to start your training. I would suggest that you offer your services as a babysitter to your friends and family with small children. It's a good way to make some spending money and a great way to begin taking responsibility for little ones.Next, I want you to do some research about childcare. Talk with every mother you know about babies and what they need. Write down what they say. Make a list of items the babies need every week. Ask questions, like "How many diapers/nappies does the baby use every day? How much formula or baby food? Does the mother nurse the baby? How often does the baby feed? Does she use a breast pump if she has to work or go to school? Does she prepare her own baby food? How much time does that take? How often does the baby wake? Does the mother get enough rest? Who helps her with the baby? What items does she take with her when she leaves the house with the baby? How often does the baby get sick? How do you bathe the baby safely?" (just a few questions to get you started).Take a list of baby items to the grocery store and write down how much each of them costs. When you get home, figure out how much those items will cost each week and each month. Yes, I'm asking you to do math. Figure out how much it would cost to provide the basic needs for a baby. Then find out how much it costs for baby clothes, which the baby will outgrow quickly, and how much it will cost to launder the clothes (babies are messy and the clothes get messy several times a day).If you have a younger sibling, ask your mother if you can take total responsibility for him/her for a whole weekend, with no help from your mother. Get creative on this project to learn as much as you can about being a mother. Again, pay attention to what the other people have said. Your life will be richer and you will be a better mother when you wait until you are (preferably) out of your teens.Thank you for asking this question. I wish you the best! MichelleMichelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPCYour Successful Singles Love Coach
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female
reader, Tarianna  +, writes (30 May 2009):
 wait until your atleats 5 years older before considering about having children...whether you want to have them yourself or otherwise...do you know how hard it is to raise a child...time consuming...tiring..think about the sleepless nights you'll have to go through...abd what about school....what are you goign to do with the baby when you have to go to school...where are you goign to stay....young miss please think about this thouroghly before you make any decissions that may ruin your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): You silly silly girl. Your still a child yourself and you expect to be able to raise another child?!?! You have your whole life ahead of you to worry about children, get out there and be a child while you still have your innocence! It isnt just a cute little baby that you dress up. Its having the responsibility of another human being for the next 18 years. Its changing nappies, been up all night long, feeding it every couple hours. Wheres the money gonna come from for you to have this child then? And what about when you get to 16, 17 and your wanting to go out with your friends more and you cant cos you have a child? What about in a few years when your wanting boyfriends and they wont be with you cos you have a child? What about your education and getting a decent job? Think about it in the long run, this is a massive massive responsbility, and even full grown married women struggle with it. Your body physically and emotionally isnt strong enough to deal with a child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): you are MUCH to young to even consider a child
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