A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've recently accessed my husbands Facebook account. I'm stunned, hurt, betrayed and angry! I found letters to and from his ex-girlfriend he found on facebook talking about how much he's thought of her over the years and how much he thinks of her daily. We had recently had an argument;(he told me he could live without me) and instead of trying to work it out with me, he turned to her on Facebook and told her that if she ever comes to florida (she lives in another state) to hook up with him for lunch or something; he would love to see her". Now comes the heartbreaker he told her "to be honest, I'd love to eat you(oral sex) and have sex with you again!!!! She emailed him telling him if he weren't married then yes they would have a chance but what they had in the past is the past.She basically turned him down. When I read this I started hypervenilating. I was soooo angry so naturaly i blew off the handle. I wrote a letter to him telling him I knew everything and sat it somewhere where he could find it when he came home from work. He read it and had nothing to say to me. That night I emailed her telling her I know everything and that their friendship is now OVER!!My email to her was a page long. I cried all night. Next morning he was groveling.Itold him I wanted a divorce and he could go be with her and I was serious. He told me he was drunk when he wrote it and that he didn't love her he loves me. He said he made a mistake. My thing is...how am I supposed to believe that when they've emailed a few times; even exchanged phone numbers and told each other how much they've missed each other. I told him I can never trust him ever again. Even though he says it was a mistake all of his words hes written to her...there's no mistake in his feelings for her. I just can't find myself to forgive him. I will always have it in my mind that he's still contacting her even though he says he's not. I will always be wondering. What do I do? We have 2 young daughters together. Now as for Facebook ( he's been doing this all along) he's been trying to contact every female he's ever known!! Why? and why not males? He just acts really shady with that situation so now i've changed his password and he no longer has access to facebook! I have to admit I, too also have Facebook, but I have male AND female friends and I do just what FB is supposed to be used for (posting statuses and reading statuses of family and friends...no shady stuff lke what my husband uses it for) Because he's in the wrong and he knows he is he accuses me of being shady..which i'm not. I will take any advice from anyone willing to help. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): "to be honest, I'd love to eat you(oral sex) and have sex with you again!!!! you hb is lying when he says he told her all this while drunk. HE WAS PROPOSITIONING her for sex. and you know that he would have done the deed if she gave him the go ahead. he may say he has stopped contact with her but its time to be realsistic. he went through all the trouble to contact her, he is not going to let his little wife interrupt his sexual fanclub. he will continue until being caught time and time agagin. that is how this situation will play out. cheaters do not stop the first time they get caught. they continue until the bubble finally bursts.
A
female
reader, Wonder79 +, writes (30 May 2009):
I was recently in a similar situation with my boyfriend, which was the reason I originally found this web site. I found out he had been exchanging very intimate and sexually explicit e-mails/chats/phone calls/letters with a female 'friend'. He told me the same things your husband seems to be telling you. The 'friend' lives very far away, so nothing physical happened during the time of the exchanges, but it still hurt just as bad. Finding out that the man you love is telling another woman how much he loves and misses her is just a wrenching as if he went out and had sex with someone else.Our solution to try to work things out was couples counseling. If you find a good counselor, as in one who does not automatically attack your husband in a way that renders the sessions pointless, then that may be the best chance to salvage your relationship.That is if you do want to salvage it. I think you have to decide what you want now that you know the truth.And, please, don't let him try to turn around your behavior to make you feel guilty. You had every right to take over the facebook account if he was using it to cheat on you. Don't allow him to accuse you of 'shady' behavior after all he was doing. Turning situations around onto another is the last resort for some people to take the guilt and blame off of themselves.And yes, he did cheat. Emotional cheating, in my opinion, is just as, if not more, damaging than someone cheating with random one night flings.I wish I had a better reply for you but, as I said, I'm in the middle of a similar situation. The uncertainty of the future is scary but I am trying to always keep what is best for me and my future in mind, and I hope you do as well.Good luck. *hug*
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