A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically, i really love this guy, he tells me he likes me to, sometime i feel like hes leading me on, but hes afraid to let his feelings out because of the age gap between us, im 15 and hes 21, our birthdays are on the same month, mines before his, but i just dont know what to do anymore, ive cried so much over him and really feel that it is love, i have liked him ever since i met him 3 years ago, he means the world to me, serisouly, i feel that i just cant wait another year for him it breaks my heart, please help in what to do...i mean i have held his hand in secret because of his friends seeing, who are also mine, and we have kissed, and thats it what shall i do? hes knows how i feel towards him and everything but what can i say to him or what? .. help!!! im going mad!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Listen I had a friend who dated someone who was in high school and he was in college. They have been together now for some years. Tell him how you feel. It's not against the law for you to admit your feelings, is it? Maybe yall could have a signal as to whether he cares for you or not as well, such as, ask him to nod if he loves you, etc. Also, this guy that I knew, his friends were supportive of their relationship (to a point) and even chaperoned some of the dates. I think that that would be a really romantic idea. That way yall aren't tempted to do anything wrong when yall are together, such as you doing things that you are not ready for.Good luck, and pay close attention to his words! At 21, the word "like" doesn't mean the same thing as it does at 15. If you two get serious he needs to love you, not just like you.Take care.
A
female
reader, Farm Girl +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Being one who's with a man that is much older, you wont hear me beating up on you! The bit of, "go find someone your own age", I strongly disagree with.
Love has it's way of grabbing you without your knowing it.
However, with you being 16, that sure changes a lot of things! Love at 16 is alot different than love at 25. My advice is that you wait until you're of legal age before you let anything happen. Enjoy one another, spend time together and see how you really get along.
Good Luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Well umm he's 21 and you're 15... it's kind of illegal... I would just move on and find people of your own age. I understand that you like this guy, but it could just turn out to be more trouble than it's worth to be honest! You're 15, you should be just having fun and mucking about with your friends, there's no need to be tied down into such a serious relationship (let alone with an 'older' man) at this age, just concentrate on yourself, xx
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (26 July 2009):
I have been in this exact same position when i was 15 so please listen to a girl with experiance.When i was 15 i fell in love with a 21 yr old, we said we would be friends until i was 16 and neither of us would date anyone else until then but as you know it doesn't work this way.We fell in love and we started dating but unfortunatly my dad or my brothers (who were a friend of his)all said it was wrong and addmittedly my dad pretty much disowned me and my brothers wouldn't talk to me. I stood strong because i loved him and we got through it all. We did NOT have sex until i was 16 which was 6 months after we started dating and this is a very VERY! important bit of information. He was not only willing to take on my family to be with me but he was also willing to wait for me for 6 months until i was 16 so that everything was legal and our relationship wasn't considered dirty. We had a happy relationship for four years! and i would change that. eventually we got engaged but we did break up before the wedding.Age gaps can become very difficult later in the relationship when you enter a serious relationship so young.you willchange as you get older and you will want to do things he has already done and by the time you get to that age the relationship may start to crack and you may start to feel like you have lost out.but for now my advice to you would be to be "friends" / dating so that you are exclusive but under no circumstances give in to sex! this is the crucial part to make sure he is genuin. If he puts pressure on you before you are 16 then you know he is not the one for you and you will be very hurt. if you are 16 in the next few weeks then hold out for a few months, the key thing here is to make sure he is right for you before you give him everything and if you do have sex and then he leaves you you will feel very betrayed and upset. also although it is not illegal to date someone older than you even if you are under 16 it is illegal to have sex with them.build the relationship first.I really hope this helps
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Forget the law if he loves you and you love him. Just make sure that you see him in places where no one can see you. And that's kind of romantic, isn't it?Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (26 July 2009):
 yes you are still young and because of this the legal laws dont allow you to be together.
you dont have to wait too long, this year will soon be over and if you love him you can be patient and wait for him?
that way you can have an open relationship next year.
you cant do anything now but be patient & strong until next year. its not that far away.
good luck!
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