A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There appears to be two types of love. One is the love for a sibling or family member, and the romantic love between intimate partners.I myself am devoid of either. I never have (and probably never will) felt love for another due to my abnormal personality (Narcissistic personality disorder).This is not something that bothers me, but like the man born blind who's curious to know what it's like to see, I ask, what is it like to love someone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BadderzGirl +, writes (22 September 2009):
Love is different to every person so you'll probably get a ton of different answers . . .but to me, love is when you can't go a day without thinking about someone. Love is when you wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for the loved one, and love is when you get butterflys in your stomach (like when you're about to go onstage or on a rollercoaster) just because you know they love you back just for being you.Whoa, I just realized how soppy I sound!hope this helps
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Its all based on a sense of justice, I suppose. If you are living in a narcissistic world, then you will find yourself absorbed in it.
Stepping outside of your box requires cultivating empathy and a desire to look towards others rather than yourself for guidance.
Asking this question alone is a means of stepping outside of the box.
However, having a label such as NPD hung on you doesn't guaranty that you will never feel love. Quite to the contrary, if you are strongly motivated, you can achieve anything, including feeling love towards another or experiencing it directed at yourself.
Therefore, if you wish to step outside of the box, and it is your true desire to do so, then by sheer will you won't just try, you will succeed.
The first step in this process is recognizing that all humans, whether diagnosed with NPD or not, are malleable. That is that they can, if they want, change their behavior. They can change their heart. Change happens whether its discreet or overt.
Therefore, if you want to change, then you will change.
You may be in the unique position to do this. Some refer to it as a prison, but its one that you hold the keys to your own cell. So the reality is, if you ignore the label, look deep inside yourself, look into your heart if you accept that you have one; you can in fact make the changes in your life that you want.
It may be harder for you, under these circumstances, but in this universe anything is possible, even for you.
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A
female
reader, LolaMontez +, writes (22 September 2009):
NPD is no bar to love, but Mother Nature, (who works in mysterious ways, and can also be a right cow) has to set you up for it in a way that wouldn't have to happen to those more emotionally free.
NPD is a state of being tied to yourself, and it can be an all knowing and all seeing universe, the one completely inhabited by yourself. At the same time this is a great comfort, and a prison.
There will be circumstances that allow you outside of yourself. I have had it happen to me and to two others like you and me. For me it was my children, one friend has discovered devotion to the antique furniture he restores, another, the impossible, damaged and infuriating inmates of the local young offenders institution. Love is... for you, to be set free from yourself for some breathtaking moments, hours or days.
Please don't consider yourself as having a disorder, just having an approach to love that is on the spectrum of humanity, and Mother Nature put you there for a reason. You may not be able to promise another human being life long devotion in the usual way, but in some unusual circumstance the love you can feel, and the courage to feel it, will be just the ticket.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (22 September 2009):
As a narcassist I can't help but wonder if you want to understand it to emulate the emotion to secure supply. Above someone commented on all the positives of love. But... there are some downsides too. Basically it is most often not equal one of the partners cares more and tends to be vulnerable. This can be very painful because they tend to do most of the pushing in the relationship and they know that the other person may love them but not with the same intensity so they have a fear of losing the person. That situation is common in committed love relationship i.e. romantically and in families. Of course romantically there a lot of extremes with people loving someone who doesn't care at all and suffering a lot of disappointment and heartbreak hoping to get that committed relationship :). Then of course when you love like that life eventually does end and people have to go through the grief of losing even those that loved them back. So it is all roses and sunshine but it pretty amazing when everything is working so we keep try to find and keep it most of our lives. But being a narcassist and not loving is a lot simpler. Of course going through all those ups and downs is how we mature and grow and that's something that someone who can't love loses out on.
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A
female
reader, CherryBoom  +, writes (22 September 2009):
to be honest, you can't really find suitable words to describe 'love'.
the only way to be able to know this feeling is when you are in a loving and caring relationship. someone who is a love and a best friend. someone u can utterly trust.
i won't say "never will", because you don't know what the future holds for you. it might take time but you'll get to know the feeling of love for someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Warm and fuzzy and sometimes sticky. :P
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Hmm... well like the man born blind who wants to know what it is like to see, how would you answer that?
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